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Her head resting on his chest, she lies in his warm embrace, an embrace that promises safety and protection. It feels like finally being home again after a long and tiring journey, which had no destination. And next to the sensation of having him back, there is something else.

In moments like these, when there is suddenly all the calmness and silence after the passion and heat, she always feels something like equality. In these moments and what precedes them, the roles shift, she feels equal to him. He isn’t the superior one then, the brilliant businessman vanishes in favour of someone else. Emily loves them both, but she loves them differently and for different reasons. The one for his admirable strength and the other one for his cosy warmth. It’s like opening a polished safe out of steal, huge and imposing, just to find a teddy inside. By now an old one maybe, worn from all the hugs over the past years, but the little black button eyes still look the same, touching him still feels the same. Almost forgotten delight and pleasure.

She’s glad that he still can make her feel like that. A simple touch of him still can create those shivers running through her body, desire and warmth. Moreover, she is glad that he still longs for her and her body after all this years. Then her body probably always pleased him most.
Therefore, she sometimes has the slight fear this might change one day. A feeling the separation made worse, because the things didn’t solve like they usually did after one of their fights. Usually everything dissolved into pleasure. The last time their relationship dissolved. The last time there wasn’t the familiar touch on her cheek, telling her the fight is over without a word. The last time there was no passion created by fury and she was afraid she might have lost the ability to create it at all. A scary feeling, because, honestly, there aren’t many other things she can offer or give. At least nothing, any other woman could give him, too.

Yes, he chose her. He chose her over brighter ones, prettier ones, funnier ones, easier ones. He chose her over Pennilyn. He says he did, because he loves her. She knows he does. She knows again. Nevertheless, she doesn’t know why he came back or why he loves her at all. Especially as it wasn’t love at first sight, for none of them, although – in tender and relaxed moments like these - he sometimes declares it was. Sweet lie. There wasn’t love. Not in the very beginning and not for a very long time. Their bodies loved each other long before their minds did. That’s how it is. There were no fairies singing and turning the world into a glittering wonderland with their fairy dust, when they first met. It wasn’t magical. It was physical. Passion created love, slowly and inconspicuous.

For that reason, the only logical answer she can come up with is this goddamn pleasure. This wonderful pleasure. An answer that brings those slight fears right back again. If it’s really the only reason, there’ll be the day sooner or later. The day he really doesn’t find her attractive anymore and has no more reason to love her. Maybe he only came back to sweeten his waiting time. Because it’s more comfortable to spend it with her than all alone in the pool house. Maybe he did. Maybe not. Because there still was his jealousy, his eyes sparkling of anger and his under lip trembling of fury. It’s another side of him. A side she really has forgotten about. Even steal can be melted, heated it’s a dangerous substance, hissing and bubbling.

Actually just like their relationship. There’ve been hot phases and cold ones, ups and downs. And although there’ve been more ups than downs, it are the downs she remembers most. Brands in her brain. The separation is the biggest one, this brand probably still smokes and will leave the biggest scar. And the biggest fear. By now, she knows for sure, she doesn’t like to live without him and she never wants to experience it again. If she’d only be able to raise, to be equal to him not only in moments like these but all the time, it might strengthen the foundation of their relationship. But there’s nothing she can do, not more than going on. Not more than playing the wife role, which seems to suit her so well, for the rest of her life, hoping it’ll be enough to tie him down to her.

“Ridiculous”, she murmurs upon the absurdity of her thoughts. She’ll never know for sure, at least not until he’ll really declare one day, he’ll leave her for another woman. And if some scientist hasn’t invented something that’ll make her look at least thirty years younger, then it’ll be too late anyhow. Besides, he just came back. He is home. She is home. They are together for heavens sake and instead of enjoying it, she is thinking the thoughts of a lovesick paranoiac. “Really ridiculous”, she adds and Richard starts to chuckle, his body shakes lightly under hers.
“I hope this wasn’t a valuation of my performance”, he remarks dryly. “Considering the fact, I’ve been out of order for some months; I truly deserve more than a really ridiculous.”
“Considering the fact, you’ve been out of order for some months”, she quotes him, a slight smile plays around the corner of her mouth. “You truly deserve more than a really ridiculous.”
“I take this as a compliment.”
“It was", she confirms.
“That’s what I wanted to hear.”
She snores amused. “You haven’t changed at all”, she explains. “Actually, nothing has changed since we’re married, at least not as for my feelings. I still love you for the same things”, she sighs about herself and the sudden feeling of melancholy in her chest. “God, how I hate it, when a wave of sentimentality hits me. It makes me feel like an old woman sitting in her rocking chair, mourning for the good old times. Silly and useless.”
Richard pushes her to the side and leans over here. “Well, you’re an old woman”, he teases her thereby and she slaps his arm gently. “And it is silly and useless”, he continues in a conciliatory tone, while stroking a strand from her forehead. “Especially, as there are better times to come for that old woman.”
She raises her brows. “There are?”, she mocks.
“Please, Emily! She’s married to a hell of a guy, of course there are.”
“For my taste this hell of a guy is too full of himself.”
“He’s only aware of his extraordinary qualities.”
“What about the old woman’s qualities – is he aware of them, too?”
“Hell of a guys usually aren’t stupid, of course he does”, Richard explains with the most earnest face and Emily can’t help laughing.
“You’re talking nonsense, bookkeeper”, she reproves him smiling. Despite its strangeness, his compliment is like honey on her soul.
“Why”, he says grinning surprised. “You haven’t called me that in years.”
“I told you that I’m swimming in a sea of sentimentality.”
He caresses her cheek. “Don’t get lost”, he explains with sudden seriousness. “I’m tired of living without you.”
“Then swim with me”, she answers succinct. “The sea is big enough.”
“Mmh”, he makes and buries his head on her shoulder. “Right now I’m too tired for a swim”, he murmurs after some time. “But if you make an effort, you might be able to talk me into some kissing.”
She laughs and shakes her head. For now the fears are forgotten.“With that”, she says and lifts his chin. “You land me.”

FIN

Ich will mehr von diesen Momenten.
Genau so was hätte ich mir gewünscht in "Come Home", aber bis Amy uns so was zeigt, gibt es ja zum Glück dich, Riska.

Es ist so herrlich romantisch geschrieben, so wie ich mir Emily und Richard vorstelle, wenn sie alleine sind. Denn andere bekommen diese Seite der beiden kaum zu sehen.

Zitat:In moments like these, when there is suddenly all the calmness and silence after the passion and heat, she always feels something like equality.

Und ich glaube genau das hat Emily sehr gefehlt, als jemand ebenbürtiges angesehen zu werden, ein Partner zu sein und geschätzt zu werden.


Und der Vergleich mit dem Teddybär, zu süß. Richard ist eben einfach manchmal zum Knuddeln.


Emily's Gefühle und Ängste sind wunderbar beschrieben.

Zitat: Yes, he chose her. He chose her over brighter ones, prettier ones, funnier ones, easier ones. He chose her over Pennilyn.

Das hat mich gleich an "Wedding Bell Blues" erinnert, weil in der Rede auch so etwas vorkommt wie "I choose you" und wie toll es doch ist auch nur einmal im Leben so etwas schönes zu erfahren.

Zitat:Especially as it wasn’t love at first sight, for none of them, although – in tender and relaxed moments like these - he sometimes declares it was. Sweet lie. There wasn’t love. Not in the very beginning and not for a very long time. Their bodies loved each other long before their minds did. That’s how it is. There were no fairies singing and turning the world into a glittering wonderland with their fairy dust, when they first met. It wasn’t magical. It was physical. Passion created love, slowly and inconspicuous.

Ich hab mir immer ausgemalt es war Liebe auf den ersten Blick, einfach weil es eine romatische Vorstellung ist und Richard schließlich Pennilyn für Emily verlassen hat. Aber diese Version ist ebenso denkbar. Liebe, die sich aus Leidenschaft heraus entwickelt, eigentlich auch sehr schön.:biggrin:

Zitat:By now, she knows for sure, she doesn’t like to live without him and she never wants to experience it again.

Zitat: He caresses her cheek. “Don’t get lost”, he explains with sudden seriousness. “I’m tired of living without you.”

Zum Glück haben die beiden erkannt, dass sie nicht ohne einander leben können.

Zitat:If she’d only be able to raise, to be equal to him not only in moments like these but all the time, it might strengthen the foundation of their relationship. But there’s nothing she can do, not more than going on. Not more than playing the wife role, which seems to suit her so well, for the rest of her life, hoping it’ll be enough to tie him down to her.

Das ist so traurig, dass Emily gerade in so einem Moment das Gefühl hat nicht mehr zu sein als nur die Ehefrau und ihm ansonsten nichts zu bieten hat. Aber eben typisch Emily. Obwohl es ja überhaupt nicht stimmt, Emily kann soviel mehr sein als nur die liebende Ehefrau, wenn man sie nur lassen würde.


Was mir ganz besonders gut gefällt ist die liebevolle Neckerei. Etwas was in der Serie leider viel zu kurz kommt.

Alles in allem wunderbar geschrieben.

Grüßle
Sandra