13.08.2004, 20:33
13.08.2004, 21:05
weiter bitte... am besten gleich jetzt
der teil war so :heul: ....
hehe ich hab schon 3 weitere kapitel gelesen *gg*...
@liz wie viele kapitel der story hast du denn?
mehr als 10? wenn ja beeil dich mit em posten... das letzte kapitel das ich jetzt gelesen hab war "The Jess solution PtA"
der teil war so :heul: ....
hehe ich hab schon 3 weitere kapitel gelesen *gg*...
@liz wie viele kapitel der story hast du denn?
mehr als 10? wenn ja beeil dich mit em posten... das letzte kapitel das ich jetzt gelesen hab war "The Jess solution PtA"
14.08.2004, 14:07
@ordinary Mit The Jess Solution sind es doch erst 6 Kapitel, oder?
Paved Paradise: Aftermath
Disclaimer: I do not own.
Also, the Jess you see in the later parts of this story is a more mature Jess than we've seen on the show. Keep that in mind as you read. Please send feedback.
âLuke! Mom! Iâm home!â Rory called, dropping her purse by the door.
âSsh,â Luke put a finger to his lips. âYour Mom is still asleep.â
âReally?â She never sleeps in the middle of the day.â Rory said, taking off her shoes.
âYeah, but I doubt sheâs slept at all in the last few days. Whereâs Jess?â
âNice switch,â Rory smiled. âHe went back to the diner. He said it stopped raining so you could walk back when you were ready.â
âOkay.â Luke sighed. âI really should go back. Weâve been open so irregularly andâ¦â Luke shook his head, trailing off.
âLuke, practically all of Stars Hollow was at my grandparentsâ funeral,â Rory pointed out. âBy the way, you were great out there today, with my Mom.â
Luke shrugged, âShe needed me. I was there.â
Rory leaned up and put her arms around Lukeâs neck. That surprised him, she didnât usually show him much affection, âYouâre always there, Luke. Thank you.â
Luke put his arms around Rory and held her tightly, âAnything for you and your Mom, Rory. You know that.â
Their hug broke and Luke went to the kitchen, âCoffee?â
âPlease,â Rory agreed getting cups while Luke started the coffee and heated the kettle for tea.
âSo, um, how are you handling everything?â Like asked, dipping his tea bag up and down once the water had boiled.
âPretty good, I think,â Rory replied. âEasier every day, and easier with Jess being back.â
âThatâs part of what I meant,â Luke said. âHow are you with Jess being here?â
âConsidering I called him in New York and begged him to come home, leave his job, his apartmentâ¦â
âWhoa, whoa, Rory, I wasnât questioning your decision to do that, but I was sort of wonderingâ¦â
âWhy I did it?â Rory finished.
âWell, yeah,â Luke replied.
Rory stopped her pacing around the kitchen and sat down at the table. âI donât know. I guess it started the day of Lizâs wedding. Jess showed up at my dorm and asked me to move away with him. Of course, I said no and Iâm afraid I was rather mean to him. I think I really hurt him. Anyway, before I told him no, he told me I could count on him. For some reason, those words came back to me when,â she paused, âit happened.â
âJess grew up in Venice Beach and he really grew up in New York,â Luke commented. âWhere are you twoâ¦I mean is there a future?â
Rory shrugged, âI donât know. I guess thatâs up to Jess.â
The phone rang then and Rory made a dive for it so it wouldnât wake Lorelai. âHello,â she greeted. âOh, hi Jess. Yeah, hold on, heâs right here.â With a small frown, Rory handed the phone to Luke.
âHello,â he said, then listened. âHow could we be out of bread? Just go to Dooseâs and get some.â A pause. âStill?â Another pause. âFine, Iâll be right there.â
Luke put the phone back in itâs cradle. âI have to go to the diner, we ran out of bread and Taylor wonât let Jess in the market when heâs there.â
âStill banned, huh?â Rory smiled a bit.
âYep,â Luke sighed.
Rory could tell by the look on Lukeâs face that there was nothing he wanted to do more than stay there and wait for Lorelai to wake up, but his business had to be his first priority. Rory tried to make it easier on him. âDonât worry,â she told him. âIâll take care of her.â
Luke gently ran a finger down Roryâs cheek. âI know you will. Iâll be back as soon as I can.â
With that, Luke left Rory who headed to her room to change out of her funeral clothes and to retrieve a new book. She had a lot to consider and think about, however, so she got very little reading done.
Foremost, Jess was back in her life. Was that a permanent thing? Or now that the trauma passed, would he leave again? Did she want him to stay? Of course she did. They had said their âI love yousâ and past mistakes were long forgiven. They had a life together now, they had a future. Rory was sure of that.
Rory sighed; glad her part of the decision was made. Sheâd talk it all over with Jess tomorrow. She would make sure he understood her feelings and would seek his intentions. He had been quiet on the drive home from Hartford when they had gone to get the truck. Rory feared he was misunderstanding her messages. She was afraid that he thought they were over again.
A blood curdling scream jolted Rory out of her musings. Startled, it took her a moment to realize it was Lorelai that was its source or that Lukeâs name was the one she was crying out.
Rory jolted at her motherâs third cry and ran up to the bedroom. Lorelai was sitting up in bed, her head in her hands, and her elbows on her knees, sobbing hysterically.
âMom,â Rory called encircling her mother in her arms, âMom, its okay. Itâs all right.â
âNo,â she sobbed, âNo, itâs not. Itâll never be all right again. Heâs gone, heâs gone.â
Rory rubbed her motherâs back in soothing circles, âI know,â she consoled. She had felt that way too. âI know youâll miss Grandma and Grandpa.â
âNo, no, noâ¦â Lorelai cried, âNot, not them. Luke. Iâll never see him again or holdâ¦heâll never knowâ¦â
Lorelaiâs hysterics were scaring Rory. What on earth was she talking about? âMom,â Rory said gently, âLukeâs fine. Heâs just fine. Heâs at the diner with Jess.â
Lorelai stopped her sobbing and pulled back from Roryâs embrace, anger in her blue eyes. âDonât say that! Donât lie to me like that, about that.â
âMom, Iâm notâ¦It was a dream, just a dreamâ¦â Rory tried to pull Lorelai back into her arms. Lorelai resisted her comfort, rolled on her side, and sobbed into what had become Lukeâs pillow uttering words Rory couldnât make out.
âIt was only a dream, Mom,â she tried again. âIâll prove it.â
Quickly Rory dialed Lukeâs number and prayed he would be able to come back.
Luke left Lorelaiâs cursing Taylor. He should be at Lorelaiâs ready to console her the minute she needed it, ready to get her coffee or make her pancakes, not on his way across town to deal with a stupid ornery old shopkeeper who had it in for his nephew. He promised her that he would be there and now he wasnât going to be there.
On the way to the diner, Luke picked up some bread and rolls at the market, before proceeding to settle disturbed customers. When things did calm down Jess asked, âHowâs Lorelai?â
âSheâs still asleep. I justâ¦sheâs come undone beforeâ¦â Luke paused. He wanted to say something to Jess. âJess, Iâm proud of you.â
Jess blushed. âYou donât have toâ¦â
âYes, I do,â Luke said in a whisper. âI am very proud of the mature way youâve handled yourself. Rory really needed you.â
Jess nodded. âI told her she could count on me. And she can. Even after I go back toâ¦â
The ringing of the telephone cut Jess off and kept Luke from really processing what Jess had said. âLukeâs,â he answered in his customary bark.
âLuke, its Rory. You have to come home.â She sounded frantic.
âWhy? What happened?â Luke asked. He knew he shouldnât have left Lorelai, he knew it.
âItâs Mom. She had some dream and sheâs crying. I think the dream was about you. She just keeps saying your name over and over,â Rory blurted out. âI canât make her stop. Iâ¦â
âIâm on my way,â Luke told Rory. âEverything is going to be fine.â Those words seemed to calm her. Once Rory started breathing more normally, Luke handed the phone to Jess as he left the diner without explaining to anyone.
âHello, Rory,â Jess spoke evenly. âLuke just ran out of here. Are you okay?â
âMy Momâs really freaked out. She just wants Luke,â Rory told him.
âDoes that upset you?â he asked, tucking the phone between his chin and his shoulder so he could refill some of the customers coffee cups.
âNo. I mean, I know what itâs like. I only wanted you when I heard,â Rory replied.
Jessâ body ached with the question, âWhat about now?â He was afraid to bring that up right now though. Rory had more important things on her mind than that issue. They did however need to talk about some things, some things like Dean. Heâd let it go, but it was time now to address it. He didnât want that between them after he went back to New York. âRory, um, Iâm going to go. Thereâs so much to do here, but we really need to talk about some stuff. Can you meet me at the bridge tomorrow around two oâclock?â
âSure,â Rory replied. âIâll make us a basket.â
Remembering her last basket he smiled. âNo thanks. Iâve got that covered.â
Rory was never so glad to see anyone as she was to see Luke. Lorelaiâs sobs could be heard as soon as he walked in the house. Taking the steps two at a time, he went to her.
Lorelai felt the bed shift, but instead of looking up, she held Lukeâs pillow closer.
âLorelai,â Luke said softly, stroking her soft hair. âIâm here, Lor. Iâm here.â
âNo,â she sobbed into the pillow. âLuke, Iâm so sorry.â
âLorelai Iâmâ¦â Luke tried again, âlook at me.â Gently, he touched her shoulder and forced her to turn around so her red, swollen eyes could meet his. If she could look into his eyes, she would see he was real, he was fine, and her fears were only in her dreams.
When they made eye contact, the wretched heartbroken sobs stopped and Lorelai sat up throwing her arms around Luke.
âLuke.â She began to cry again. âItâs really you. Youâre alive, youâre fineâ¦â
Luke held her close and rocked her back and forth in a soothing rhythm. âOf course itâs me. You think I wouldnâtâ be here for my girl?â
Lorelai sniffed, âIt was so horrible, Luke.â
He ran his thumb across her cheek. âWhat was?â
âMy dream,â she said. âI mean I guess it was a dream since youâre here, but it seemed so real.â
Luke kissed the top of her head, âTell me.â
Lorelai took a deep breath and sniffed, âWe were in the cemetery burying my parents and after the funeral we went back to the Inn and you went to the diner andâ¦thatâs when it got really horrible. Someâ¦someone hhi..tt and youâ¦â She held him so tight he couldnât breathe, âI love you so much, Luke. I canât lose you too.â
âI love you, too Baby,â he replied. âYouâll never lose me. Iâll always be with you, Lorelai.â Luke had been saying baby a lot lately. Lorelai hated it but when he held her like this, so small and vulnerable, it slipped off his tongue. What bothered him was she didnât seem to notice.
âDonât leave me alone again, Luke,â she begged. âNot ever. Promise me.â
He didnât know what to say to that. Logically heâd have to leave her sight again, but for now he told her what she needed to hear, âI promise. Are you hungry?â Luke knew she hadnât eaten at all that day.
She yawned, suddenly exhausted. âNo.â It was small and far away sounding. âI want to lie down again.â
Luke gently helped her down and tucked her blankets around her shoulder, âYou should eats soon. You want some coffee? A danish?â
Again, she shook her head. âNo, I justâ¦I just want you, Luke.â
âYouâve got me,â he replied. âBut are you sure thereâs nothing I can do for you?â
âUm, can you hold me?â she asked quietly, seeming unsure.
Luke slipped off his shoes and slid onto the bed. âAs long as you need me too.â
Lorelai cuddled up next to Lukeâs chest. Before she drifted off to sleep she softly whispered, âForever then.â
Luke gently ran through her hair, soothing her as best he could with his touch. When she uttered those soft words, Luke sighed. His Lorelai was strong, capable, and incredibly independent. So much so that it sometimes hurt his feelings how little she needed him. The Lorelai he held nowâ¦heâd have to wait and see. Until then, until an answer came, heâd do as he was now. Heâd hold her, love her, and if she needed him to, heâd shelter her. That after all, was what he did when he loved someone and he could never love anyone more than his Lorelai.
The next afternoon Rory waited at the bridge for Jess to arrive. It was all ready ten past two. He was late, but the diner was shorthanded so she wouldnât worry. Anyway, the new Jess wasnât the type to stand her up.
Jess had been helping out so much since here grandparentsâ deaths. He took over at the diner when Luke was needed at home. He kept her up as best he could. He even got over his fear of speaking in front of crowds to read her grandfatherâs eulogy when she was too overcome to finish the tribute. He was showing the world the man she always knew he was.
Rory sat lost in thoughts about Jess. Heâd become such a wonderful, mature man in only a few short months. She loved him like that. Who was she kidding? She loved him period.
âPenny for them?â Jess greeted sitting down beside Rory. âYou were a million miles away.â
âIâm sorry. I have a lot on my mind,â Rory said. âYouâre late.â
âI know. I had to give Caesar and Lane breaks first,â Jess replied. âHowâs your Mom?â
Rory shook her head. âNot good. I donât think she let Luke out of her sight long enough to go to the bathroom last night.â
âLuke can handle it. He wants to help her,â Jess assured Rory. âBut the dinerâ¦â
âJess, I go back to school on Monday, but if you need help at the diner my classes are usually done by three oâclock. I could commute back here and help out for a few days. I was probably going to do that anyway,â Rory told him.
âIâll see,â said Jess. âMaybe your Mom will be feeling better by then.â
âI hope so. Itâs soâ¦sheâs not usually like that,â Rory said. âI mean yeah, she can definitely lose it, but they werenât even that close.â
Jess sighed, âMaybeâ¦never mind. You want to eat?â
âI never say no to a Jess burger,â Rory smiled.
Jess unpacked their lunch and he and Rory ate in silence. He wanted to address what heâd overheard the night of the wake, between her and Dean. She wanted to address her feelings for him and ensure he was here to stay.
Rory broke the silence. âJess, I want you to knowâ¦to realize how much it meant to me to have you here during all of this.â
âI know, Rory,â Jess replied. âI told you that you could count on me now. You can, even after I got back to New York. I will be here for you.â
âNew York? I thoughtâ¦I should have realized. You hate Stars Hollow. Youâd never want to stay here.â Rory tried to sound indifferent and fight her tears.
âRoryâ¦âJess began. âDonât be upset. I know we shared a lot this week. I told you how I feel about you. I told you that I love you and that isnât going to change. Iâve loved you since that day on the street when I returned the book that I âborrowed.â He made the quotes with his fingers.
âThen why? If you love me and I love you why are you leaving?â Rory asked, confused.
âBecauseâ¦Rory, I know.â Jess said.
âYou know?â She repeated, confused.
âI know. I heard you and Dean talking at the funeral home Thursday. I didnât want to say anything then, but Rory,â Jess sighed. âI canât do this again. I canât compete with him and lose again. I canât.â
âYou donât have to compete with him. Itâs not him that I want and after that night, I knew that. I knew once and for all that after we⦠after he promised so many things and reneged on them, I knew that I could never love him theâ¦I could neverâ¦â Rory stopped for breath.
âWhat, Rory? Spit it out, just say it,â Jess implored her.
âI knew that I could never love him the way that I love you. I knew what I did was so wrong, butâ¦â Rory trailed off and studied the old wood of the bridge.
Jess reached out with a long finger and lifted her chin. âRory, why didnât you say anything to me about it? I mean, weâve done so much talking this week, so much soul searching. Why did you leave that part out?â
It was true. They had done a lot of talking. They had talked about their lives as they were not. She had talked about Yale and Paris, about how it was to live with Luke, and about how much she regretted rejecting Jess that day. He had talked about his job as a messenger, what he was really using that money for, his life in the New York flat with seven other guys. He had told her about his life, his exploits, and the way he couldnât touch or kiss another woman with uttering her name. So why had she left out the fact she slept with Dean. With Jessâ sordid past, he wouldnât rebuke her for it.
Roryâs throat close and tears began to fall from her eyes, âBecause I was ashamed,â she admitted. âI thought I really loved him. I thought he loved me and that he would do all the things he said heâd do. But he didnât. I didnât want you to know what an idiot Iâd been or that Iâd been with someone elseâs husband.â
She said that last word on a sob and Jess pulled her into his arms. He sat with her face buried in his chest and rocked her back and forth. âRory, you screwed up. Itâs okay to screw up. Iâm the king of doing that. You donât have to feel bad about it or embarrassed by it. But you should have told me Rory; especially since we were telling each other so much.â
Rory pulled out of his embrace, âIâm sorry, Jess. I know that Iâ¦â
Rory never got to finish her sentence. Jessâ lips were on hers kissing her with passion, love, and forgiveness. âYou know, they say you never forget the first time you have sex,â he told her.
âI know,â she whispered, leaning in for another kiss.
âYou know what else I be we wonât forget?â Jess asked her, teasing her with little pecks between his words.
âWhat?â she asked, nearly breathless with the incredible feelings running through her.
âThe first time we make love. Iâve been with women Rory, but Iâve never made love. I want to make love to you. I want the first time I give that much to someoneâ¦I want it to be you.â Jess had never said so much before. It was hard to imagine him romantic like that. But this was the way of their very special bond. He could always say what she needed to hear, even if heâd once thought words like that were stupid.
âJess, I donât know if Iâmâ¦â
Jess cut her off with a shake of his head. âNot now, Rory. Not for a long time maybe. When weâre ready, when weâre both ready, thatâs when it will happen.â
Rory hugged Jess fiercely and kissed his on the mouth. âSo youâre not going back to New York?â she asked.
Jess sighed. âI have to go back temporarily to see what credits I can transfer to Southern Connecticut State, but no, I want to be near you and if that means Stars Hollowâ¦â
Rory shrieked with joy and hugged him again. After a minute, it dawned on her what heâd said about transferring credits. âJess are you enrolled in college?â
Jess blushed and nodded, âYep. I figured I had to do something with my life. Iâm taking a bunch of psychology courses. I want toâ¦I want to do what Uncle Luke did for me only without the water torture.â
Rory laughed, âSo youâll be Dr. Jess then huh?â
âDonât mock it. Look at that Phil guy, and I think Iâm much better looking.â
Rory laughed again and she and Jess finished their lunch and walked back to the diner. They were greeted by a frazzled Lane. âThank God youâre back. Iâm going crazy here. Whenâs Luke coming back?â
Rory sighed. That meant things werenât better at home yet. âI better go check on my Mom. Come over later okay?â she asked Jess.
âSure, Iâm closing at eight. See you then.â
Rory left the diner and darted home as fast as possible. She walked in to find the the downstairs was still empty. Her mother had probably been in bed the entire day. She heard Lukeâs voice, speaking gently to Lorelai. She couldnât make out his words and she didnât want to intrude. Luke was handling the situation nicely.
Truth be told, Luke wasnât handling the situation at all. He couldnât stand seeing Lorelai like this. And he had the diner to run. She was so crippled by her fears that he couldnât leave her alone in the room with constantly talking to her so that she knew he was okay. If she didnât snap out of this in a few days, heâd have to call the doctor.
âLorelai,â Luke coaxed. âCome on, just eat a little bit of the muffin. Itâs chocolate fudge. Your favorite.â
Lorelai didnât respond to him, she just lay in the bed, covers to her chin. Luke kept trying.
âLor, I know what youâre going through is really hard, but you canât just lie down and die, Babe. You have to go on. You have to move on.â
âI can go on from this?â She says it like a question.
âYeah, Lorelai. You can move on from anything. Itâll hurt, but Iâll be here and Rory.â He smoothed back her hair.
âWhat if something likeâ¦like my parentsâ¦happened to you. Could I move on then?â She asked looking him in the eye for the first time.
âSure. It would take while, but sure you could.â Luke told her gently and prayed heâd said the right thing. âBut nothing is going to happen to me Lorelai. Nothing at all.â
âNothing,â she whispered into the blanket.
âThatâs right,â Luke told her. âNothing.â
Lorelai seemed to finally accept that assurance so Luke moved on to the next phase of his plan. Of course, this was a plan he was making up as he went along.
âSo, do you think that tomorrow you could sleep in a bit while I go to the diner thenâ¦â
âNo!â Lorelaiâs reply was swift and sharp. âNo, no, noâ¦you promised not to leave me alone. You promised, Luke.â
Luke sighed and held her close as she started crying once again, âI know, Baby. I know.â
Paved Paradise: Aftermath
Disclaimer: I do not own.
Also, the Jess you see in the later parts of this story is a more mature Jess than we've seen on the show. Keep that in mind as you read. Please send feedback.
âLuke! Mom! Iâm home!â Rory called, dropping her purse by the door.
âSsh,â Luke put a finger to his lips. âYour Mom is still asleep.â
âReally?â She never sleeps in the middle of the day.â Rory said, taking off her shoes.
âYeah, but I doubt sheâs slept at all in the last few days. Whereâs Jess?â
âNice switch,â Rory smiled. âHe went back to the diner. He said it stopped raining so you could walk back when you were ready.â
âOkay.â Luke sighed. âI really should go back. Weâve been open so irregularly andâ¦â Luke shook his head, trailing off.
âLuke, practically all of Stars Hollow was at my grandparentsâ funeral,â Rory pointed out. âBy the way, you were great out there today, with my Mom.â
Luke shrugged, âShe needed me. I was there.â
Rory leaned up and put her arms around Lukeâs neck. That surprised him, she didnât usually show him much affection, âYouâre always there, Luke. Thank you.â
Luke put his arms around Rory and held her tightly, âAnything for you and your Mom, Rory. You know that.â
Their hug broke and Luke went to the kitchen, âCoffee?â
âPlease,â Rory agreed getting cups while Luke started the coffee and heated the kettle for tea.
âSo, um, how are you handling everything?â Like asked, dipping his tea bag up and down once the water had boiled.
âPretty good, I think,â Rory replied. âEasier every day, and easier with Jess being back.â
âThatâs part of what I meant,â Luke said. âHow are you with Jess being here?â
âConsidering I called him in New York and begged him to come home, leave his job, his apartmentâ¦â
âWhoa, whoa, Rory, I wasnât questioning your decision to do that, but I was sort of wonderingâ¦â
âWhy I did it?â Rory finished.
âWell, yeah,â Luke replied.
Rory stopped her pacing around the kitchen and sat down at the table. âI donât know. I guess it started the day of Lizâs wedding. Jess showed up at my dorm and asked me to move away with him. Of course, I said no and Iâm afraid I was rather mean to him. I think I really hurt him. Anyway, before I told him no, he told me I could count on him. For some reason, those words came back to me when,â she paused, âit happened.â
âJess grew up in Venice Beach and he really grew up in New York,â Luke commented. âWhere are you twoâ¦I mean is there a future?â
Rory shrugged, âI donât know. I guess thatâs up to Jess.â
The phone rang then and Rory made a dive for it so it wouldnât wake Lorelai. âHello,â she greeted. âOh, hi Jess. Yeah, hold on, heâs right here.â With a small frown, Rory handed the phone to Luke.
âHello,â he said, then listened. âHow could we be out of bread? Just go to Dooseâs and get some.â A pause. âStill?â Another pause. âFine, Iâll be right there.â
Luke put the phone back in itâs cradle. âI have to go to the diner, we ran out of bread and Taylor wonât let Jess in the market when heâs there.â
âStill banned, huh?â Rory smiled a bit.
âYep,â Luke sighed.
Rory could tell by the look on Lukeâs face that there was nothing he wanted to do more than stay there and wait for Lorelai to wake up, but his business had to be his first priority. Rory tried to make it easier on him. âDonât worry,â she told him. âIâll take care of her.â
Luke gently ran a finger down Roryâs cheek. âI know you will. Iâll be back as soon as I can.â
With that, Luke left Rory who headed to her room to change out of her funeral clothes and to retrieve a new book. She had a lot to consider and think about, however, so she got very little reading done.
Foremost, Jess was back in her life. Was that a permanent thing? Or now that the trauma passed, would he leave again? Did she want him to stay? Of course she did. They had said their âI love yousâ and past mistakes were long forgiven. They had a life together now, they had a future. Rory was sure of that.
Rory sighed; glad her part of the decision was made. Sheâd talk it all over with Jess tomorrow. She would make sure he understood her feelings and would seek his intentions. He had been quiet on the drive home from Hartford when they had gone to get the truck. Rory feared he was misunderstanding her messages. She was afraid that he thought they were over again.
A blood curdling scream jolted Rory out of her musings. Startled, it took her a moment to realize it was Lorelai that was its source or that Lukeâs name was the one she was crying out.
Rory jolted at her motherâs third cry and ran up to the bedroom. Lorelai was sitting up in bed, her head in her hands, and her elbows on her knees, sobbing hysterically.
âMom,â Rory called encircling her mother in her arms, âMom, its okay. Itâs all right.â
âNo,â she sobbed, âNo, itâs not. Itâll never be all right again. Heâs gone, heâs gone.â
Rory rubbed her motherâs back in soothing circles, âI know,â she consoled. She had felt that way too. âI know youâll miss Grandma and Grandpa.â
âNo, no, noâ¦â Lorelai cried, âNot, not them. Luke. Iâll never see him again or holdâ¦heâll never knowâ¦â
Lorelaiâs hysterics were scaring Rory. What on earth was she talking about? âMom,â Rory said gently, âLukeâs fine. Heâs just fine. Heâs at the diner with Jess.â
Lorelai stopped her sobbing and pulled back from Roryâs embrace, anger in her blue eyes. âDonât say that! Donât lie to me like that, about that.â
âMom, Iâm notâ¦It was a dream, just a dreamâ¦â Rory tried to pull Lorelai back into her arms. Lorelai resisted her comfort, rolled on her side, and sobbed into what had become Lukeâs pillow uttering words Rory couldnât make out.
âIt was only a dream, Mom,â she tried again. âIâll prove it.â
Quickly Rory dialed Lukeâs number and prayed he would be able to come back.
Luke left Lorelaiâs cursing Taylor. He should be at Lorelaiâs ready to console her the minute she needed it, ready to get her coffee or make her pancakes, not on his way across town to deal with a stupid ornery old shopkeeper who had it in for his nephew. He promised her that he would be there and now he wasnât going to be there.
On the way to the diner, Luke picked up some bread and rolls at the market, before proceeding to settle disturbed customers. When things did calm down Jess asked, âHowâs Lorelai?â
âSheâs still asleep. I justâ¦sheâs come undone beforeâ¦â Luke paused. He wanted to say something to Jess. âJess, Iâm proud of you.â
Jess blushed. âYou donât have toâ¦â
âYes, I do,â Luke said in a whisper. âI am very proud of the mature way youâve handled yourself. Rory really needed you.â
Jess nodded. âI told her she could count on me. And she can. Even after I go back toâ¦â
The ringing of the telephone cut Jess off and kept Luke from really processing what Jess had said. âLukeâs,â he answered in his customary bark.
âLuke, its Rory. You have to come home.â She sounded frantic.
âWhy? What happened?â Luke asked. He knew he shouldnât have left Lorelai, he knew it.
âItâs Mom. She had some dream and sheâs crying. I think the dream was about you. She just keeps saying your name over and over,â Rory blurted out. âI canât make her stop. Iâ¦â
âIâm on my way,â Luke told Rory. âEverything is going to be fine.â Those words seemed to calm her. Once Rory started breathing more normally, Luke handed the phone to Jess as he left the diner without explaining to anyone.
âHello, Rory,â Jess spoke evenly. âLuke just ran out of here. Are you okay?â
âMy Momâs really freaked out. She just wants Luke,â Rory told him.
âDoes that upset you?â he asked, tucking the phone between his chin and his shoulder so he could refill some of the customers coffee cups.
âNo. I mean, I know what itâs like. I only wanted you when I heard,â Rory replied.
Jessâ body ached with the question, âWhat about now?â He was afraid to bring that up right now though. Rory had more important things on her mind than that issue. They did however need to talk about some things, some things like Dean. Heâd let it go, but it was time now to address it. He didnât want that between them after he went back to New York. âRory, um, Iâm going to go. Thereâs so much to do here, but we really need to talk about some stuff. Can you meet me at the bridge tomorrow around two oâclock?â
âSure,â Rory replied. âIâll make us a basket.â
Remembering her last basket he smiled. âNo thanks. Iâve got that covered.â
Rory was never so glad to see anyone as she was to see Luke. Lorelaiâs sobs could be heard as soon as he walked in the house. Taking the steps two at a time, he went to her.
Lorelai felt the bed shift, but instead of looking up, she held Lukeâs pillow closer.
âLorelai,â Luke said softly, stroking her soft hair. âIâm here, Lor. Iâm here.â
âNo,â she sobbed into the pillow. âLuke, Iâm so sorry.â
âLorelai Iâmâ¦â Luke tried again, âlook at me.â Gently, he touched her shoulder and forced her to turn around so her red, swollen eyes could meet his. If she could look into his eyes, she would see he was real, he was fine, and her fears were only in her dreams.
When they made eye contact, the wretched heartbroken sobs stopped and Lorelai sat up throwing her arms around Luke.
âLuke.â She began to cry again. âItâs really you. Youâre alive, youâre fineâ¦â
Luke held her close and rocked her back and forth in a soothing rhythm. âOf course itâs me. You think I wouldnâtâ be here for my girl?â
Lorelai sniffed, âIt was so horrible, Luke.â
He ran his thumb across her cheek. âWhat was?â
âMy dream,â she said. âI mean I guess it was a dream since youâre here, but it seemed so real.â
Luke kissed the top of her head, âTell me.â
Lorelai took a deep breath and sniffed, âWe were in the cemetery burying my parents and after the funeral we went back to the Inn and you went to the diner andâ¦thatâs when it got really horrible. Someâ¦someone hhi..tt and youâ¦â She held him so tight he couldnât breathe, âI love you so much, Luke. I canât lose you too.â
âI love you, too Baby,â he replied. âYouâll never lose me. Iâll always be with you, Lorelai.â Luke had been saying baby a lot lately. Lorelai hated it but when he held her like this, so small and vulnerable, it slipped off his tongue. What bothered him was she didnât seem to notice.
âDonât leave me alone again, Luke,â she begged. âNot ever. Promise me.â
He didnât know what to say to that. Logically heâd have to leave her sight again, but for now he told her what she needed to hear, âI promise. Are you hungry?â Luke knew she hadnât eaten at all that day.
She yawned, suddenly exhausted. âNo.â It was small and far away sounding. âI want to lie down again.â
Luke gently helped her down and tucked her blankets around her shoulder, âYou should eats soon. You want some coffee? A danish?â
Again, she shook her head. âNo, I justâ¦I just want you, Luke.â
âYouâve got me,â he replied. âBut are you sure thereâs nothing I can do for you?â
âUm, can you hold me?â she asked quietly, seeming unsure.
Luke slipped off his shoes and slid onto the bed. âAs long as you need me too.â
Lorelai cuddled up next to Lukeâs chest. Before she drifted off to sleep she softly whispered, âForever then.â
Luke gently ran through her hair, soothing her as best he could with his touch. When she uttered those soft words, Luke sighed. His Lorelai was strong, capable, and incredibly independent. So much so that it sometimes hurt his feelings how little she needed him. The Lorelai he held nowâ¦heâd have to wait and see. Until then, until an answer came, heâd do as he was now. Heâd hold her, love her, and if she needed him to, heâd shelter her. That after all, was what he did when he loved someone and he could never love anyone more than his Lorelai.
The next afternoon Rory waited at the bridge for Jess to arrive. It was all ready ten past two. He was late, but the diner was shorthanded so she wouldnât worry. Anyway, the new Jess wasnât the type to stand her up.
Jess had been helping out so much since here grandparentsâ deaths. He took over at the diner when Luke was needed at home. He kept her up as best he could. He even got over his fear of speaking in front of crowds to read her grandfatherâs eulogy when she was too overcome to finish the tribute. He was showing the world the man she always knew he was.
Rory sat lost in thoughts about Jess. Heâd become such a wonderful, mature man in only a few short months. She loved him like that. Who was she kidding? She loved him period.
âPenny for them?â Jess greeted sitting down beside Rory. âYou were a million miles away.â
âIâm sorry. I have a lot on my mind,â Rory said. âYouâre late.â
âI know. I had to give Caesar and Lane breaks first,â Jess replied. âHowâs your Mom?â
Rory shook her head. âNot good. I donât think she let Luke out of her sight long enough to go to the bathroom last night.â
âLuke can handle it. He wants to help her,â Jess assured Rory. âBut the dinerâ¦â
âJess, I go back to school on Monday, but if you need help at the diner my classes are usually done by three oâclock. I could commute back here and help out for a few days. I was probably going to do that anyway,â Rory told him.
âIâll see,â said Jess. âMaybe your Mom will be feeling better by then.â
âI hope so. Itâs soâ¦sheâs not usually like that,â Rory said. âI mean yeah, she can definitely lose it, but they werenât even that close.â
Jess sighed, âMaybeâ¦never mind. You want to eat?â
âI never say no to a Jess burger,â Rory smiled.
Jess unpacked their lunch and he and Rory ate in silence. He wanted to address what heâd overheard the night of the wake, between her and Dean. She wanted to address her feelings for him and ensure he was here to stay.
Rory broke the silence. âJess, I want you to knowâ¦to realize how much it meant to me to have you here during all of this.â
âI know, Rory,â Jess replied. âI told you that you could count on me now. You can, even after I got back to New York. I will be here for you.â
âNew York? I thoughtâ¦I should have realized. You hate Stars Hollow. Youâd never want to stay here.â Rory tried to sound indifferent and fight her tears.
âRoryâ¦âJess began. âDonât be upset. I know we shared a lot this week. I told you how I feel about you. I told you that I love you and that isnât going to change. Iâve loved you since that day on the street when I returned the book that I âborrowed.â He made the quotes with his fingers.
âThen why? If you love me and I love you why are you leaving?â Rory asked, confused.
âBecauseâ¦Rory, I know.â Jess said.
âYou know?â She repeated, confused.
âI know. I heard you and Dean talking at the funeral home Thursday. I didnât want to say anything then, but Rory,â Jess sighed. âI canât do this again. I canât compete with him and lose again. I canât.â
âYou donât have to compete with him. Itâs not him that I want and after that night, I knew that. I knew once and for all that after we⦠after he promised so many things and reneged on them, I knew that I could never love him theâ¦I could neverâ¦â Rory stopped for breath.
âWhat, Rory? Spit it out, just say it,â Jess implored her.
âI knew that I could never love him the way that I love you. I knew what I did was so wrong, butâ¦â Rory trailed off and studied the old wood of the bridge.
Jess reached out with a long finger and lifted her chin. âRory, why didnât you say anything to me about it? I mean, weâve done so much talking this week, so much soul searching. Why did you leave that part out?â
It was true. They had done a lot of talking. They had talked about their lives as they were not. She had talked about Yale and Paris, about how it was to live with Luke, and about how much she regretted rejecting Jess that day. He had talked about his job as a messenger, what he was really using that money for, his life in the New York flat with seven other guys. He had told her about his life, his exploits, and the way he couldnât touch or kiss another woman with uttering her name. So why had she left out the fact she slept with Dean. With Jessâ sordid past, he wouldnât rebuke her for it.
Roryâs throat close and tears began to fall from her eyes, âBecause I was ashamed,â she admitted. âI thought I really loved him. I thought he loved me and that he would do all the things he said heâd do. But he didnât. I didnât want you to know what an idiot Iâd been or that Iâd been with someone elseâs husband.â
She said that last word on a sob and Jess pulled her into his arms. He sat with her face buried in his chest and rocked her back and forth. âRory, you screwed up. Itâs okay to screw up. Iâm the king of doing that. You donât have to feel bad about it or embarrassed by it. But you should have told me Rory; especially since we were telling each other so much.â
Rory pulled out of his embrace, âIâm sorry, Jess. I know that Iâ¦â
Rory never got to finish her sentence. Jessâ lips were on hers kissing her with passion, love, and forgiveness. âYou know, they say you never forget the first time you have sex,â he told her.
âI know,â she whispered, leaning in for another kiss.
âYou know what else I be we wonât forget?â Jess asked her, teasing her with little pecks between his words.
âWhat?â she asked, nearly breathless with the incredible feelings running through her.
âThe first time we make love. Iâve been with women Rory, but Iâve never made love. I want to make love to you. I want the first time I give that much to someoneâ¦I want it to be you.â Jess had never said so much before. It was hard to imagine him romantic like that. But this was the way of their very special bond. He could always say what she needed to hear, even if heâd once thought words like that were stupid.
âJess, I donât know if Iâmâ¦â
Jess cut her off with a shake of his head. âNot now, Rory. Not for a long time maybe. When weâre ready, when weâre both ready, thatâs when it will happen.â
Rory hugged Jess fiercely and kissed his on the mouth. âSo youâre not going back to New York?â she asked.
Jess sighed. âI have to go back temporarily to see what credits I can transfer to Southern Connecticut State, but no, I want to be near you and if that means Stars Hollowâ¦â
Rory shrieked with joy and hugged him again. After a minute, it dawned on her what heâd said about transferring credits. âJess are you enrolled in college?â
Jess blushed and nodded, âYep. I figured I had to do something with my life. Iâm taking a bunch of psychology courses. I want toâ¦I want to do what Uncle Luke did for me only without the water torture.â
Rory laughed, âSo youâll be Dr. Jess then huh?â
âDonât mock it. Look at that Phil guy, and I think Iâm much better looking.â
Rory laughed again and she and Jess finished their lunch and walked back to the diner. They were greeted by a frazzled Lane. âThank God youâre back. Iâm going crazy here. Whenâs Luke coming back?â
Rory sighed. That meant things werenât better at home yet. âI better go check on my Mom. Come over later okay?â she asked Jess.
âSure, Iâm closing at eight. See you then.â
Rory left the diner and darted home as fast as possible. She walked in to find the the downstairs was still empty. Her mother had probably been in bed the entire day. She heard Lukeâs voice, speaking gently to Lorelai. She couldnât make out his words and she didnât want to intrude. Luke was handling the situation nicely.
Truth be told, Luke wasnât handling the situation at all. He couldnât stand seeing Lorelai like this. And he had the diner to run. She was so crippled by her fears that he couldnât leave her alone in the room with constantly talking to her so that she knew he was okay. If she didnât snap out of this in a few days, heâd have to call the doctor.
âLorelai,â Luke coaxed. âCome on, just eat a little bit of the muffin. Itâs chocolate fudge. Your favorite.â
Lorelai didnât respond to him, she just lay in the bed, covers to her chin. Luke kept trying.
âLor, I know what youâre going through is really hard, but you canât just lie down and die, Babe. You have to go on. You have to move on.â
âI can go on from this?â She says it like a question.
âYeah, Lorelai. You can move on from anything. Itâll hurt, but Iâll be here and Rory.â He smoothed back her hair.
âWhat if something likeâ¦like my parentsâ¦happened to you. Could I move on then?â She asked looking him in the eye for the first time.
âSure. It would take while, but sure you could.â Luke told her gently and prayed heâd said the right thing. âBut nothing is going to happen to me Lorelai. Nothing at all.â
âNothing,â she whispered into the blanket.
âThatâs right,â Luke told her. âNothing.â
Lorelai seemed to finally accept that assurance so Luke moved on to the next phase of his plan. Of course, this was a plan he was making up as he went along.
âSo, do you think that tomorrow you could sleep in a bit while I go to the diner thenâ¦â
âNo!â Lorelaiâs reply was swift and sharp. âNo, no, noâ¦you promised not to leave me alone. You promised, Luke.â
Luke sighed and held her close as she started crying once again, âI know, Baby. I know.â
14.08.2004, 16:27
meeeeeeeeeeehr, meeeeeeeeeeeehr! Ich kann den nächsten Teil schon gar nicht mehr abwarten abber: ...
14.08.2004, 18:28
@liz
bei fanfiction.net sind ein paar der kapitel geteil z.b Aftermath A/Aftermath B, daher 10.
hoffentlich schreibt, die autorin *namegradnichteinfällt* bald weiter
die story ist echt so genial...
achso, für die von euch die gern J/R Storys lesen - lest auf fanfiction.net "Finding Home" von AirborneGirl, ebenfalls auf englisch aber auch super schön
bei fanfiction.net sind ein paar der kapitel geteil z.b Aftermath A/Aftermath B, daher 10.
hoffentlich schreibt, die autorin *namegradnichteinfällt* bald weiter
die story ist echt so genial...
achso, für die von euch die gern J/R Storys lesen - lest auf fanfiction.net "Finding Home" von AirborneGirl, ebenfalls auf englisch aber auch super schön
15.08.2004, 18:08
Hoffentlich gehts bald weiter die FF ist nämlich suuuper!!!
18.08.2004, 03:10
Wir sollten ihr ne Mail schicken und sie bitten mehr zu schreiben!!!
Paved Paradise: The Jess Solution
By: LadyCommish
Things went on that way for a week. Luke, by Wednesday, managed to coax Lorelai out of the bedroom, but he still couldnât convince her to eat more than the smallest amount of food, and under no circumstances would she let him out of her sight for five minutes. She couldnât go on like this, this path was too destructive, yet he didnât know what he should do.
By Friday, Luke was fed up. He loved Lorelai and he was glad that she wanted him to support her and that she needed him to love her. He was glad that she loved him that much, and truth be told heâd be devastated if something happened to her, so he understood, that at this time in her life she needed to be assured that nothing would happen to him or to Rory.
Still, this path was dangerous and he had to do something to get her over it. Heâd tried love, heâd tried coaxing, and heâd tried making deals, so far, nothing worked. It was time to call in the big guns. It was time to consult with Rory and Jess.
On Friday night, after a large pizza with everything for Lorelai, Rory, and Jess and a deluxe green salad for Luke, Lorelai went upstairs to take a shower. She was okay now when everyone was home. She could go to the next room without having a panic attack or breaking down in sobs, but she still couldnât bear to have Luke or Rory out of her sight or at least her earshot.
Once Luke heard the shower in the upstairs bathroom turn on, he stopped doing the dishes and went into the kitchen to talk to Jess and Rory.
âRory. Jess. I need to talk to you,â Luke said, his face serious.
Rory sat up a bit straighter and shook herself out of Jessâ embrace, âWhat up, Luke?â
âRory, itâll be a week tomorrow sinceâ¦and youâre Mom isnât getting any better. Sheâs getting worse actually. I just donât know what to do anymore and I was wondering if you have any ideas?â
âLuke, I know taking care of Mom has been hard for youâ¦â
âThatâs not it Rory. I love your mother, I want to take care of her, but the woman up there in the shower is not the woman that I love,â Luke pointed out. âAnd sheâs not the woman that raised you either.â
Rory felt her throat close up with emotion. The wounds of losing both her grandparents were still fresh and the stress of her mother, her rock solid mother, falling to pieces was getting to her. Jess sensed her sudden sadness and put his arm around her. âI know that,â Rory managed. âHow do we get her back?â
âI donât know, Kid. Iâve done everything I know to do. Iâve held her and reassured her but nothing seems to take. Iâm at my wits end and I donât know what to do anymore.â
Jess listened to Luke go through the litany of things that he had done to try and help Lorelai. He had played right into her delusions. If he stayed with her, there was no way he could prove to her with certainty that going out into the world was not any more dangerous than it had been before the accident. The accident had just made it hit closer to home. Jess knew of a way, he knew of a way that had once worked on his friends Martinâs mother when his father died. Tough love, no more of this gentle cuddling and coddling that Luke was doing.
âI think I have an idea,â Jess said quietly. âAnd Iâm pretty sure it will work. Iâm also pretty sure neither one of you is going to like it.â
Rory looked up at him, âWhatever it is it has to be better than going on like this.â
âWhat is it, Jess?â Luke asked, not surprised that he would have an idea. Heâd seen a lot in New York.
âItâs going to be hard on you,â Jess told him. âItâs going to be hard on both of you. What youâre doing now, trying to accommodate Lorelai, trying to make her feel secure is nice and sweet, but obviously itâs not working.â
âWhat else do you want me to do? I canât just leave her, I mean sheâ¦â
Jess cut Luke off. You have to leave her Luke. You have to leave her to me. She has to see that you can go out to the diner or to the store and come back fine. You too, Rory. This isnât going to be easy on either of you. You both love her, and youâre both too close to do what she needs right now. You are going to have to trust me on this. Iâve seen it work.â
âWhat do you want us to do, Jess?â Luke asked.
âI want you, Uncle Luke, to go to the diner tomorrow to open up. Take Rory with you,â Jess instructed.
âNo,â Luke shook his head to veto the idea. âI canât do that to her. I canât leave her here by herself. I donât know what sheâd do. Sometimes she wakes up and I swear Jess she doesnât know if things were dreams or reality.â
âShe wonât be alone, Luke. Iâll be here with her. You two are two close to this. What Lorelai needs is a swift kick in the ass and Iâm just the person to give it to her,â Jess declared rising from his seat on the couch. âI know this is hurting you, Uncle Luke, and I know its murder on Rory. Sheâs hurting too and she needs her mother. Lorelai and I are not friends, but I think I can get her to listen to me. Just give me one chance. If it doesnât work, weâll think of something else.â
Luke thought for a minute. He read about what Jess was describing. Tough love, they called it. He only wondered how his nephew who less than a year ago couldnât stand the sight of him came to know about such a thing and how he came to be so mature.
âHow do you know about this Jess?â Luke asked.
âMy friend Martin lost his Dad and his mom really flipped out,â Jess explained. âThey had to do something to snap her out of it and the lovey crap was not working so they tried a sterner approach. Snapped her right out of it, let me tell you,â Jess declared.
Rory twirled her hair around on her finger, âI donât know, Jess. I mean, what if it makes her even worse?â
âDid your way make her any better?â Jess countered. âRory, you have to trust me on this. Please.â
Rory slowly nodded her head. She did trust Jess. She knew heâd never do anything to hurt her and to hurt Lorelai was by extension hurting her. âAll right, Jess. Itâs okay with me if itâs okay with Luke.â
âUncle Luke?â Jess waited for Lukeâs answer.
âHow many self help books did you read in New York Jess?â Luke asked.
âSelf help books?â Rory looked at him curiously. âDid you read self help books?â
âOne self help book and I never live it down,â Jess rolled his eyes. âNo, but I started school again and I talked to the counselor there. She really helped me see that all I had to do to getâ¦â He paused and looked at Rory. âAll I had to do to get what I wanted was to grow up and act like a person instead of an ass whole. Combine that with a bunch of entry level psych courses and here I am. When you called me, thatâs when I saw a chance to put that into action. The book was me at your dorm that night; thisâ¦this is experience and maybe itâs justâ¦this is our last shot.â
Luke sighed. He trusted Jess. The kid was nothing if not smart and nothing heâd tried had worked. Luke sighed. âAll right. I suppose you can give it a try.â
It was decided that Jess would stay over the house that night on the couch. Luke would of course stay up with Lorelai in her room and Rory would stay in hers.
âNow, Iâll probably be awake around five a.m. Iâll wake you after I get done showering,â Luke told Rory and Jess.
âWonât the shower wake Lorelai?â Jess asked.
âNope,â said Rory. âA marching band running through here wouldnât wake her up.â
âItâs settled then. No one says anything. Business as usual tonight,â Luke recapped.
âNo,â Jess interjected. âWhen she wakes up tonight, comfort her, but donât let her cling. Comfort her, reassure her, and tell her to go back to sleep. Donât hang onto her and coddle herâ¦â
âI always sleep with my arms around her,â Luke interjected.
âWay more information that I needed,â Jess replied. âJust donât over kill it, okay.â
Luke nodded and heard Lorelaiâs voice call from the bedroom. âLuke? Luke, where are you?â
âThatâs me. I better get to bed. Itâll be an early day tomorrow,â Luke said taking his leave. âYou both best get to bed too. Five will be here before you know it.â
Luke went upstairs to Lorelai and Rory could hear her mother crying softly. She knew that it would kill Luke to leave tomorrow and not know how she would take his absence. Rory did trust Jess though. She trusted him with her heart, her body, and sheâd trust him with her mother. If he couldnât help her, he would say so. But if he could, things could finally start to return to normal.
Rory and Jess watched TV for another hour, holding each other, before she went to bed. Jess kissed her on the lips gentle and whispered, âI love you,â before he sent her off to bed.
Upstairs, Luke lay awake with Lorelai in his arms. He didnât mention the plan to Lorelai when they went to bed and only part of it was because Jess said he shouldnât. The other part was because he knew that if Lorelai started to cry and asked him to stay with her; he wouldnât be able to deny her.
Luke held Lorelai closer that night than he even had. He prayed to every being heâd ever heard of, God, Jesus, every Saint and every prophet that Jessâ plan worked. He also thanked every entity for the precious angel in his arms.
Luke could feel Lorelai stirring in her sleep. He knew what was coming. It had come every night, two or three times, since the day of her parentsâ funerals. He hated seeing her like that. It had to end.
Luke smoothed Lorelaiâs hair as she began to sob in her sleep. Soon sheâd wake up screaming his name. It was usually his name anyway. Sometimes it was Rory, and even once, it was Jess, but usually it was his name she cried out. He tried to remember what Jess said. Tough love. No coddling or cradling, tough love.
Lorelai walked to the diner as she had done every day for nearly fifteen years. It was early yet, but Luke had promised to close up early and take her to Gerrinoâs for dinner. It was their first anniversary and Luke had agreed to take her there to celebrate. Heâd even agreed to wear a neck tie. That would be his gift to her. She only hoped heâd love her gift to him. She couldnât keep from putting a hand on her stomach as she continued to the diner.
Lorelai could sense something was wrong before she even turned down the street. She could see a crowd of people around the front of the diner, police cars, a fire engine and an ambulance were all parked haphazardly around the street.
âLuke! No!â she cried as she broke into a run. She was too late. She saw the medics lifting the blood soaked sheet that was covering Lukeâs broken body over his face. He was gone. Sheâd lost him. She had no one now.
âLuke! Luke!â Lorelai cried out sitting up in bed.
Luke sat up next to her and gently touched her shoulder. âIâm here, Lorelai. Youâre okay.â
âOH, it was so real,â she sighed. âIt was only a dream,â she said and looked to him for confirmation. âOr is this a dream?â
Luke gently kissed her forehead, âNo, this is real, Lorelai. Iâm here and youâre safe.â
Lorelai reached for him, âLet meâ¦â
Luke let her hold him for a moment. She was crying and while her tears tore him up he tried to remember what Jess had said. âComfort her, and then set her on her own. Set your limits and donât blur the line.â Where had he heard that before? Lorelai. Lorelai on Jess.
Luke rubbed Lorelaiâs back a minute then kissed her forehead and pulled away. âItâs okay. Lie back down.â
âLuke, Iâ¦â Lorelai began.
âLorelai, itâs all right. Now lie down and go to sleep. Iâm tired and I need to go to sleep.â Luke cut her off.
âI keep having such dreams,â Lorelai sighed obliging Luke by lying down. She burrowed close to his chest and he let her nuzzle. That always happened, even before so he allowed the gesture.
âGo to sleep,â Luke repeated before kissing her cheek and finally finding a fitful sleep for himself.
Paved Paradise: The Jess Solution
By: LadyCommish
Things went on that way for a week. Luke, by Wednesday, managed to coax Lorelai out of the bedroom, but he still couldnât convince her to eat more than the smallest amount of food, and under no circumstances would she let him out of her sight for five minutes. She couldnât go on like this, this path was too destructive, yet he didnât know what he should do.
By Friday, Luke was fed up. He loved Lorelai and he was glad that she wanted him to support her and that she needed him to love her. He was glad that she loved him that much, and truth be told heâd be devastated if something happened to her, so he understood, that at this time in her life she needed to be assured that nothing would happen to him or to Rory.
Still, this path was dangerous and he had to do something to get her over it. Heâd tried love, heâd tried coaxing, and heâd tried making deals, so far, nothing worked. It was time to call in the big guns. It was time to consult with Rory and Jess.
On Friday night, after a large pizza with everything for Lorelai, Rory, and Jess and a deluxe green salad for Luke, Lorelai went upstairs to take a shower. She was okay now when everyone was home. She could go to the next room without having a panic attack or breaking down in sobs, but she still couldnât bear to have Luke or Rory out of her sight or at least her earshot.
Once Luke heard the shower in the upstairs bathroom turn on, he stopped doing the dishes and went into the kitchen to talk to Jess and Rory.
âRory. Jess. I need to talk to you,â Luke said, his face serious.
Rory sat up a bit straighter and shook herself out of Jessâ embrace, âWhat up, Luke?â
âRory, itâll be a week tomorrow sinceâ¦and youâre Mom isnât getting any better. Sheâs getting worse actually. I just donât know what to do anymore and I was wondering if you have any ideas?â
âLuke, I know taking care of Mom has been hard for youâ¦â
âThatâs not it Rory. I love your mother, I want to take care of her, but the woman up there in the shower is not the woman that I love,â Luke pointed out. âAnd sheâs not the woman that raised you either.â
Rory felt her throat close up with emotion. The wounds of losing both her grandparents were still fresh and the stress of her mother, her rock solid mother, falling to pieces was getting to her. Jess sensed her sudden sadness and put his arm around her. âI know that,â Rory managed. âHow do we get her back?â
âI donât know, Kid. Iâve done everything I know to do. Iâve held her and reassured her but nothing seems to take. Iâm at my wits end and I donât know what to do anymore.â
Jess listened to Luke go through the litany of things that he had done to try and help Lorelai. He had played right into her delusions. If he stayed with her, there was no way he could prove to her with certainty that going out into the world was not any more dangerous than it had been before the accident. The accident had just made it hit closer to home. Jess knew of a way, he knew of a way that had once worked on his friends Martinâs mother when his father died. Tough love, no more of this gentle cuddling and coddling that Luke was doing.
âI think I have an idea,â Jess said quietly. âAnd Iâm pretty sure it will work. Iâm also pretty sure neither one of you is going to like it.â
Rory looked up at him, âWhatever it is it has to be better than going on like this.â
âWhat is it, Jess?â Luke asked, not surprised that he would have an idea. Heâd seen a lot in New York.
âItâs going to be hard on you,â Jess told him. âItâs going to be hard on both of you. What youâre doing now, trying to accommodate Lorelai, trying to make her feel secure is nice and sweet, but obviously itâs not working.â
âWhat else do you want me to do? I canât just leave her, I mean sheâ¦â
Jess cut Luke off. You have to leave her Luke. You have to leave her to me. She has to see that you can go out to the diner or to the store and come back fine. You too, Rory. This isnât going to be easy on either of you. You both love her, and youâre both too close to do what she needs right now. You are going to have to trust me on this. Iâve seen it work.â
âWhat do you want us to do, Jess?â Luke asked.
âI want you, Uncle Luke, to go to the diner tomorrow to open up. Take Rory with you,â Jess instructed.
âNo,â Luke shook his head to veto the idea. âI canât do that to her. I canât leave her here by herself. I donât know what sheâd do. Sometimes she wakes up and I swear Jess she doesnât know if things were dreams or reality.â
âShe wonât be alone, Luke. Iâll be here with her. You two are two close to this. What Lorelai needs is a swift kick in the ass and Iâm just the person to give it to her,â Jess declared rising from his seat on the couch. âI know this is hurting you, Uncle Luke, and I know its murder on Rory. Sheâs hurting too and she needs her mother. Lorelai and I are not friends, but I think I can get her to listen to me. Just give me one chance. If it doesnât work, weâll think of something else.â
Luke thought for a minute. He read about what Jess was describing. Tough love, they called it. He only wondered how his nephew who less than a year ago couldnât stand the sight of him came to know about such a thing and how he came to be so mature.
âHow do you know about this Jess?â Luke asked.
âMy friend Martin lost his Dad and his mom really flipped out,â Jess explained. âThey had to do something to snap her out of it and the lovey crap was not working so they tried a sterner approach. Snapped her right out of it, let me tell you,â Jess declared.
Rory twirled her hair around on her finger, âI donât know, Jess. I mean, what if it makes her even worse?â
âDid your way make her any better?â Jess countered. âRory, you have to trust me on this. Please.â
Rory slowly nodded her head. She did trust Jess. She knew heâd never do anything to hurt her and to hurt Lorelai was by extension hurting her. âAll right, Jess. Itâs okay with me if itâs okay with Luke.â
âUncle Luke?â Jess waited for Lukeâs answer.
âHow many self help books did you read in New York Jess?â Luke asked.
âSelf help books?â Rory looked at him curiously. âDid you read self help books?â
âOne self help book and I never live it down,â Jess rolled his eyes. âNo, but I started school again and I talked to the counselor there. She really helped me see that all I had to do to getâ¦â He paused and looked at Rory. âAll I had to do to get what I wanted was to grow up and act like a person instead of an ass whole. Combine that with a bunch of entry level psych courses and here I am. When you called me, thatâs when I saw a chance to put that into action. The book was me at your dorm that night; thisâ¦this is experience and maybe itâs justâ¦this is our last shot.â
Luke sighed. He trusted Jess. The kid was nothing if not smart and nothing heâd tried had worked. Luke sighed. âAll right. I suppose you can give it a try.â
It was decided that Jess would stay over the house that night on the couch. Luke would of course stay up with Lorelai in her room and Rory would stay in hers.
âNow, Iâll probably be awake around five a.m. Iâll wake you after I get done showering,â Luke told Rory and Jess.
âWonât the shower wake Lorelai?â Jess asked.
âNope,â said Rory. âA marching band running through here wouldnât wake her up.â
âItâs settled then. No one says anything. Business as usual tonight,â Luke recapped.
âNo,â Jess interjected. âWhen she wakes up tonight, comfort her, but donât let her cling. Comfort her, reassure her, and tell her to go back to sleep. Donât hang onto her and coddle herâ¦â
âI always sleep with my arms around her,â Luke interjected.
âWay more information that I needed,â Jess replied. âJust donât over kill it, okay.â
Luke nodded and heard Lorelaiâs voice call from the bedroom. âLuke? Luke, where are you?â
âThatâs me. I better get to bed. Itâll be an early day tomorrow,â Luke said taking his leave. âYou both best get to bed too. Five will be here before you know it.â
Luke went upstairs to Lorelai and Rory could hear her mother crying softly. She knew that it would kill Luke to leave tomorrow and not know how she would take his absence. Rory did trust Jess though. She trusted him with her heart, her body, and sheâd trust him with her mother. If he couldnât help her, he would say so. But if he could, things could finally start to return to normal.
Rory and Jess watched TV for another hour, holding each other, before she went to bed. Jess kissed her on the lips gentle and whispered, âI love you,â before he sent her off to bed.
Upstairs, Luke lay awake with Lorelai in his arms. He didnât mention the plan to Lorelai when they went to bed and only part of it was because Jess said he shouldnât. The other part was because he knew that if Lorelai started to cry and asked him to stay with her; he wouldnât be able to deny her.
Luke held Lorelai closer that night than he even had. He prayed to every being heâd ever heard of, God, Jesus, every Saint and every prophet that Jessâ plan worked. He also thanked every entity for the precious angel in his arms.
Luke could feel Lorelai stirring in her sleep. He knew what was coming. It had come every night, two or three times, since the day of her parentsâ funerals. He hated seeing her like that. It had to end.
Luke smoothed Lorelaiâs hair as she began to sob in her sleep. Soon sheâd wake up screaming his name. It was usually his name anyway. Sometimes it was Rory, and even once, it was Jess, but usually it was his name she cried out. He tried to remember what Jess said. Tough love. No coddling or cradling, tough love.
Lorelai walked to the diner as she had done every day for nearly fifteen years. It was early yet, but Luke had promised to close up early and take her to Gerrinoâs for dinner. It was their first anniversary and Luke had agreed to take her there to celebrate. Heâd even agreed to wear a neck tie. That would be his gift to her. She only hoped heâd love her gift to him. She couldnât keep from putting a hand on her stomach as she continued to the diner.
Lorelai could sense something was wrong before she even turned down the street. She could see a crowd of people around the front of the diner, police cars, a fire engine and an ambulance were all parked haphazardly around the street.
âLuke! No!â she cried as she broke into a run. She was too late. She saw the medics lifting the blood soaked sheet that was covering Lukeâs broken body over his face. He was gone. Sheâd lost him. She had no one now.
âLuke! Luke!â Lorelai cried out sitting up in bed.
Luke sat up next to her and gently touched her shoulder. âIâm here, Lorelai. Youâre okay.â
âOH, it was so real,â she sighed. âIt was only a dream,â she said and looked to him for confirmation. âOr is this a dream?â
Luke gently kissed her forehead, âNo, this is real, Lorelai. Iâm here and youâre safe.â
Lorelai reached for him, âLet meâ¦â
Luke let her hold him for a moment. She was crying and while her tears tore him up he tried to remember what Jess had said. âComfort her, and then set her on her own. Set your limits and donât blur the line.â Where had he heard that before? Lorelai. Lorelai on Jess.
Luke rubbed Lorelaiâs back a minute then kissed her forehead and pulled away. âItâs okay. Lie back down.â
âLuke, Iâ¦â Lorelai began.
âLorelai, itâs all right. Now lie down and go to sleep. Iâm tired and I need to go to sleep.â Luke cut her off.
âI keep having such dreams,â Lorelai sighed obliging Luke by lying down. She burrowed close to his chest and he let her nuzzle. That always happened, even before so he allowed the gesture.
âGo to sleep,â Luke repeated before kissing her cheek and finally finding a fitful sleep for himself.
18.08.2004, 09:07
ich find den teil klasse
hmm ich hab bei ff.net ne review geschrieben, das dürfte genau so gut sein
hmm ich hab bei ff.net ne review geschrieben, das dürfte genau so gut sein
18.08.2004, 22:36
wann gehts weiter? Finde diese FF einfach klasse *gggg*
19.08.2004, 14:15
Leider hab ich nicht mehr Teile vin der FF, aber vielleicht kann ich noch irgendwo welche auftreiben, wenn es sie schon gibt.