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Okay, hier ist eine neue FanFic von mir. Sie wird wohl eher kurz werden, circa 5-6 Chaps. Ich hoffe, es finden sich ein paar Leser.

Titel: How come the world won't stop turning?
Autor: Cedric
Genre: Dark, Romance
Pairing: JavaJunkie - in seltsamer Weise
Disclaimer: Mir gehoert natuerlich nichts.



Do you know the feeling when you wake up in the middle of the night and you immediately know that something went terribly wrong? Well, if you don’t, you’re one of the luckiest persons in the world. I’m not one of them.



Snowflakes slowly make their way down to earth now. It’s the first snow of the season. And it’s December 24. Christmas eve. A time to be joyful, happy. A time to be around your family and friends.
Still, I’m sitting here alone. Just me on a cold bench, a piece of paper and a pencil in my hands. And you. I’m sitting right across the place, where you are. But still, I’m not able to talk to you. And I never will be again.

Snowflakes slowly begin to make the ink to lose its way. But it’s not important. Not at all. All I can think about is you anyway. You have no clue how many things I wanted to say to you. How important you were for me, how madly I miss you now, how it grows no better, how each day without you is sharper than the day before, how I loved being around you, how I’m struggling to live our dream now.
But I’m just not able to. You’re gone and I’m here, not knowing what I should do. I don’t know anything – nevermore.

Snowflakes now finally cover the ground. It’s getting white around me. I used to love the snow but I don’t anymore. It’s weird how one call can change your life completely. It was 3.24, when my cell rang that night. It took me some time to realize what had made me wake up. As I answered, I heard an unknown voice and I knew immediately that something was seriously wrong. And for sure, there came the words. You had a car crash and now you aren’t with me anymore.
I can’t remember what I’ve done the next two days. It was all unreal. It was like I was looking down at myself but not really being myself. But the worst was yet to come. Your final way. To see all your family-members, all your friends, who are mine, too, was just unbearable. Even your sister was there. I don’t know how long you hadn’t seen her but she was there, crying and caring. I know, she never was there for you, but in the end, she was after all.
I don’t think I talked a word during the whole day. I was just standing there, looking at that grey stone with your name written on it. A special friend finally was able to make me go home.

Since then, all the people I know seem to think that I wanna talk. About you. But all I wanna do is talk to you. But I can’t. I just want to wish you a merry Christmas, but I can’t.
How could it be merry, if you’re not with your family, if you’re just not around. You know, I already had a Christmas present for you. It’s in my jacket. It’s a ticket to your favorite baseball-team. With whom should I go now? What would be the use? I think I just won’t go. That’s all. But there’s no sense in that, either. And no sense in anything. Love, life.
How come the world won’t stop turning, now that you’re gone? It makes no sense, just no sense at all.
I’m off now to find a new sense. I’m pulling in my earphones, switching on my mp3-player and listen to your favorite song. Ironically, it is Tears in Heaven. It always has been, since I can remember.
And now I’m gonna stand up and pray to a god, whom I have tried to kill over the last weeks. How could he let it happen? It is just not fair. But still - where’s the sense in that?
I’m gonna leave the place, where you are lying, behind me. But I’ll never leave you behind. I’m just off thinking about what I’m going to do with myself without you in a world that just won’t stop turning.

*seufz*

Are you trying to kill me?
I bet you a hundred bucks (uhm... no... 12 bucks and some coins... that's all I've left XD) that that was Lorelai's POV and you killed Luke...
You killed Luke... Seriously? You are trying to kill me! Hmpf -.-'

But this chapter was so good. The way it is written... just amazing *thud*
I don't know what to say! :knuddel:

love ya
Jule

heey,
ein sooooooooo trauriger Anfang:heul:
du kannst doch nicht wirklich Luke getötet haben!
das macht mich sooooooo traurig.
sehr schön geschrieben.

Zitat:I’m just off thinking about what I’m going to do with myself without you in a world that just won’t stop turning.

mein Lieblingssatz. Ich weiß nicht warum, aber er hat es mir angetan. So schön gefühlvoll.

glG
Anna

P.S. Merry Christmas!

Cedric schrieb:Do you know the feeling when you wake up in the middle of the night and you immediately know that something went terribly wrong? Well, if you don’t, you’re one of the luckiest persons in the world. I’m not one of them.

I know this feeling.
You make me cry Ced.
This first Chap was so incredible. So many feelings. And the thoughts.
But you really killed Luke. Do you can hear how my heart break?
Poor Lorelai. All her thoughts are so sad and so true.
I hope that you post soon a next chapter
Love Anne

hey!

Deine Geschichten bringen mich immer zum Heulen!! Das ist einfach nicht fair!!¨

Zitat: I know, she never was there for you, but in the end, she was after all.

Das ist so sweet!

Ich bin recht sprachlos.

Mach weiter so!!

Glg ramona

So, ein neuer Teil.

Danke fuer das tolle FB, und dann gleich von vier Leuten xD

re-FB:

@Jules: You're lost for words... How could that happen, huh? Danke,fuer dein FB und ich versuche nie dich umzubringen.
@Anna: Danke auch an dich, dass du FB gibst! Ich hoffe du hattest auch ein merry merry christmas. Please stay tuned.
@Anne:Thanks a lot! your Fb means a lot, I hope you stay tuned.
@Ramona: Well, life's not fair xD Aber danke, dass du auch hier FB gibst. Freut mich sehr!


PART 2


Sense. What is sense? Find a target, live your dream. It’s all about finding your sense in life. But what is the sense? Or better what makes sense? Go to work. That does. Look after your kids. That makes sense. Me sitting on my bed, crying. That doesn’t. You not being here by my side to console me. That doesn’t make sense.

It’s been two months now. And still, I can’t believe it. I tried to move on with my life. But somehow I haven’t been able to. I went to work but in any room I saw something that you touched, that you repaired. I went shopping to distract myself. But even a brand-new ‘I hate President Bush’ T-Shirt couldn’t light up my mood. I tried to talk to my friends, family. But they’re sad, too. They don’t know any words of consolation. But I feel that nobody is just as sad as I am.


There are times, when my body shakes with grief, when my eyes just can’t let out one single tear because there are just none left. My daughter said I should do exactly that. Mourn. But she starts getting worried about me because I refuse to talk. Not just to her. I don’t talk at all. And if you knew me, that fact would really freak you out.


So I’m sitting here in the living-room, looking around. And suddenly I kind of know what to do. I get up and go to the cupboard and pick up your wallet. In between some dollars I find exactly what I’m looking for.
The magic horoscope. I remember the first time we met. But that memory slowly gets suppressed by our first date. It had been the best date, I’ve ever had. It took us eight years to finally get there. When I think about it now… what a waste of time. These eight years. All the time we would have had together. But I was turning from one man to another, without realizing that you were there the whole time. I just never realized that every relationship I had, broke apart because of you. I hardly am able to explain it. But in the back of my mind, I always compared the guys to you, just to find out that nobody, nothing ever compares to you. Nothing at all.


I pull out a box and put the horoscope into it. A few inches besides your wallet lies a small piece of paper. It’s a card from T.J.’s brother. He gave it to you on Liz’ wedding. Our first date. Unofficial. But yet, our first date. We enjoyed the hell out of ourselves that day. The ceremony itself was kind of a laugh but in the end it was romantic. But the best was yet to come. As the first tunes of Sam Phillips’ ‘Reflecting Light’ reached out into that warm summer’s night, you asked me to dance. I have to admit you really surprised me. I didn’t think that you could waltz like that. We started out like two high school kids, barely touching each other. But as the song went on, we magically moved closer together. For the first time, touching, feeling each other.


It had been our first moment. And so many were about to come. So many, but yet they weren’t enough. I wanted to grow old with you. And now I’m getting old and you’re not. You’re just not. I know I have been told that every end has a beginning but this one’s all wrong. This one’s just so wrong. I slowly sink down to the ground now, putting the card into the box. Tears once again begin to roll down my cheeks. But still no sound leaves my mouth.
My life is like a one way street, when all I wanna do is to go back. In time especially. How I wish that it could still be November. How I wish I said ‘I love you’ before you hung up the phone. Just before somebody told me you weren’t coming home.


I take a deep breath, wipe away my tears and stand up again. I turn around and reach out for a little golden badge lying on top of the TV. In black color there is engraved a large 7. It is the original sign for Room 7 at the DragonFly. The first visitor in that room had been you. Pictures of the test-run become shape in front of my inner eye. The terrible fight we had before I finally realized you were the one for me. That there actually was a moment. Then the words made their way out of your mouth.


Would you just stand still? Those words echo in my ears now.


You slowly move closer to me. I can hear your breath becoming faster. Then finally I can feel your lips on mine and everything around me isn’t important anymore. Just you and me. My stomach feels weird. Butterflies, I believe. I’m the happiest person in the world but then…


I taste salt. First, I’m confused, why would your lips taste like salt? But then I can feel tears. My tears. I open my eyes and you’re not here anymore. Just vanished.
I get hold onto myself and throw the golden seven into the box. I walk to the sofa and sit down.

Trying to adjust to a world that just won’t stop turning.

You make me cry again with your chapter.
I love your writingstyle. All the feelings and emotions are so real, are so true.
And I´m really sorry about Lorelai.

Cedric schrieb:‘I hate President Bush’ T-Shirt

Solidary Sister. I hate Bush too^^

Cedric schrieb:Trying to adjust to a world that just won’t stop turning.

When I read this sentence I cry a little bit. I don´t really know why but maybe it is because I know this feeling well known.
I hope that you post soon a new chapter.
Love Anne

heeey,

Zitat:Sense. What is sense? Find a target, live your dream. It’s all about finding your sense in life. But what is the sense? Or better what makes sense? Go to work. That does. Look after your kids. That makes sense. Me sitting on my bed, crying. That doesn’t. You not being here by my side to console me. That doesn’t make sense.

Wow. I don´t know what to say. It´s so well written and so true.

Zitat:brand-new ‘I hate President Bush’ T-Shirt

That´s so Lorelai.

The whole chapter was so amazing and well written. I don´t know what to say.
Oh, I know now: Keep going.

glG
Anna

Die ersten 2 Teile deines FFs haben mich ganz schön mitgerissen. Ich konnte mich in Lorelai hineinversetzen und das trotz dem englischen Text (bin in dem Punkt eigentlich immer ganz schön lesefaul).

Und ich bin auch ganz stolz auf mich, weil ich das ganze ohne Dictionary geschafft habe:groove:

Ich weiß, wie es ist, eine wichtige Bezugsperson zu verlieren. Und die Gefühle von Lorelai sind mir wohl vertraut. Ich finde es stark, wie detailliert du das alles rüberbringst.

Zitat:My life is like a one way street, when all I wanna do is to go back.

Der Satz hat mir am Besten gefallen. Der Vergleich gefällt mir.

Naja, mehr fällt mir nicht ein, was ich dazu sagen könnte. Hätte das ganze ja auch gerne auf Englisch geschrieben, aber das wäre sicher Grundschulmäßig geworden...

Freue mich auf ein neues Chapter von dir.

Lg, Aki:herz:

Hmmm... wann schreibst du weiter?

Eine ungeduldige Aki:regens: