[LizEvans]

Paved Paradise: Arrangements


Disclaimer: Do not own. Do not sue.


Lorelai didn’t get home until early the next morning. Christopher offered to go in with her but Lorelai refused when she saw Luke’s truck in her driveway.

Lorelai kicked off her shoes, dropped her hand bag, and inhaled the wonderful aroma of Luke’s coffee.

“Luke,” Lorelai called out, “Luke, I’m here.”

Luke, dressed in only his jeans, stepped out of the bathroom and went to Lorelai, taking her in his arms, “Where were you? It’s almost six.”

“I know,” Lorelai said against his shoulder, “I had some calls to make and we needed to wait for the bodies to be released.”

Luke tightened his hold on Lorelai, “How you holding up, Honey?”

Lorelai pulled away, “Wow! You never called me honey before.”

“Sure I did,” said Luke, “not a lot, but I did at least once.”

Lorelai shook her head, “Nope, you never called me Honey or Sweetie or anything but Lor or Lorelai,” she continued, “Geez, if this is what it takes to get you to be sensitive.”

“Lorelai, come sit down and I’ll get you some coffee,” Luke told her, trying to check his temper and understand Lorelai’s vulnerability.

“I’m sorry,” she said, “I’m just really screwed up right now and Christopher is coming back at noon to take me to the funeral place.”

“It’s all right,” Luke replied, “I could take you to the funeral place. Chris must have to get back to Sherri.”

“They split,” Lorelai told him as she accepted the travel mug of coffee, “She finally drove him crazy with her nagging,” Lorelai took a long sip. Luke remained silent.

“Where’s Rory and Jess?” Lorelai asked after a few minutes.

“Rory’s asleep in her room and Jess is…”

“Right here,” Jess grumbled wiping the sleep out of his eyes, “I’m up this early so I can open the diner for Luke,” Jess replied to the unasked question.

“That’s all right, Jess,” Luke told him, “You stay with Rory, I got it.”

Jess shook his head, “I talked to Rory about it. She’s going to help out with the lunch rush, by then you and Lorelai should be finished with what you have to do, then Rory and I can…”

“Jess,” Luke interrupted, “Lorelai is going with Christopher to do the planning.”

Jess raised an eyebrow at Luke, “Okay,” he said, “but…”

The phone rang on the table and Jess made leap for it, “Gilmore residence.”

“Hello, Luke? It’s Sookie…”

“Um, hi, Sookie. It’s not Luke, its Jess,” Jess said into the phone.

“Not funny, Luke,” Sookie scolded, “I can’t believe you’d be making up something like that at a time like this.”

“Okay, I see we are still not the Queen of Normal here,” Jess mumbled, then, Luke, “Luke! Sookie.”

Luke took the phone from Jess, “Hey, Sookie. What’s up?”

“That really was Jess,” Sookie said surprised.

“Yes,” Luke replied, “that really was Jess. He came in last night. What can I do for you?”

“I wanted to talk to Lorelai, see how she was doing. I heard about her parents,” Sookie told him. Luke could be so protective at times.

“I’ll see if she’s up to it. Hold on,” Luke said putting the phone down and going to kneel in front of Lorelai, “Lor, its Sookie, Baby, you want to talk to her?”

Lorelai stood up and Luke rose with her, “Not right now, Luke,” she spat out quickly before jetting upstairs.

“Um, Sookie,” Luke said picking up the receiver, “She’s not up to it right now. I’ll tel her to call you later, okay? Bye.”

Luke hung up the phone and tried to follow Lorelai upstairs when the phone rang again, “Yeah,” Luke barked into the phone.

“Luke, its Dean,” the voice on the other end of the phone said.

“Dean, she’s sleeping,” Luke said flatly, not wanting to have to settle a Dean/Jess wrestle mania on top of everything else, “I’ll tell her you called,” Luke hung up and started up after Lorelai again, unplugging the phone as he went.

Meanwhile, Jess had gone to wake Rory before going to the diner. He pulled the curtains open and raised the shade.

“Rise and shine, Ror…” he gently greeted, “It’s six-thirty.”

“That better be pm,” she grumbled.

“Nope, am. I got up early to help Luke at the diner. I wanted to see if you needed me here though,” Jess explained. This felt awkward.

“If I say yes…”

“If you say yes, screw the diner, Luke can close for the day,” Jess told her with firm gentleness.

“And if I say no…”

“If you say no, I’ll do the breakfast rush; you help out with lunch like we talked about last night. Then when Luke gets there I make us a couple of Jess burgers,” he said.

Rory thought a moment, “In that case, go to Luke’s, help out. I want more sleep. I’ll meet you at the bridge at one, okay? Then we can talk, we have to talk,” she said snuggling down into the covers again.

Jess lowered the shade and quietly moved to leave the room, “Jess.”

Rory’s voice stopped him in his tracks, “Yeah,” he replied.

“Thanks for letting me count of you,” Rory murmured dozing off again.

“Now and forever,” Jess whispered, “I promise.”

Luke followed Lorelai up to the big bathroom and gently wrapped on the door, “Lorelai. Lorelai, come on out and talk to me. It’s only me. Just Luke.”

“Go away, please,” Lorelai told him, her voice very even, eerily calm.

“Lorelai, come on. Open the door. You’ve been through a lot, let’s talk,” Luke tried again.

There was silence on the other side of the door at first, the lock unlatched and the knob turned. Luke opened his arms to receive Lorelai but instead she pushed him hard, out of the way.

“Lorelai…” Luke said, shocked.

“Luke, get out of here. I need you to leave here,” she told him.

“No,” he replied, “Lor, I know this is hard and it’s a shock, and I know you’re trying to be strong and keep it together for Rory, but it’s me.”

“Luke, I all ready asked you once. Please leave. Go home. Go to the diner, just leave me alone,” Lorelai ordered. “This is why I didn’t call you! Why I didn’t call you when it happened! You smother m, Big strong Luke to the rescue, the big hero, well I don’t need to be rescued and I don’t want a hero. I want to be left alone! Please!”

“Lorelai, I can’t leave you alone. You shouldn’t do this all alone…”

“I won’t be alone, Luke. That’s why I called Christopher so he could be here with me. Luke, I really need for you to go,” Lorelai said evenly. She knew if she got angry at him lashed out, hurt him, he’d leave; go off to lick his wounds. Then she could function, then she could hold on.

“Lor…”

She cut him off and covered her face with her hands, “Please, Luke. Go home. I don’t need you here. I don’t…I don’t want you her right now. Please go.”

Finally, Luke gave up and went down the stairs and out the door. His knees buckled as he sat down on the porch, head in his hands.

Jess heard the door slam and called out, “Luke!” When no one answered him, Jess headed for the porch where he found Luke sad and defeated.

“Luke,” Jess said, “um, what’s…why aren’t you upstairs with Lorelai. I said I’d help Caesar out today.”

Luke shook his head, “She doesn’t want me there, Jess. She told me to go. She says I smother her. Of course I do, I love her. I’m going to marry her.”

Jess listened to Luke’s words. He knew how attentive Luke was to Lorelai, he also recalled how stubborn and independent Lorelai could be, “Luke that woman is stubborn and strong and tough,” Luke didn’t let him finish, he shook his head.

“That’s a public face, Jess. Lorelai’s able to…she can let go with me.”

“Exactly,” Jess replied, “you let her lose her control. She can’t do that right now.”

“But she should. She lost her parents, God, that hurts, and I know it hurts,” Luke said with more emotion than Jess had ever seen from him, “But her not wanting me there hurts even worse.”

“Well,” Jess sighed, “You have two choices. Go back to the diner with me, lick your wounds, like she expects and wait until she comes to you. Or, you go back in there, tell her you get it, you understand and that when she needs you, you’ll be there.”

Luke smiled at Jess and gave him a quick hug, “When did you get so smart?” Luke asked.

“I read,” Jess replied, “Go on. Tell Rory I’ll see her at one.”

Luke nodded and went back up the porch into the house.

“I thought I told you to leave,” Lorelai said sipping a fresh cup of coffee on the sofa.

“Yeah, I heard you, but I couldn’t…Lorelai, put the mug down and listen to me, then I’ll go,” Luke told her, “I know what you’re doing.”

“Luke,” she groaned but he continued, “Lorelai, you are so strong, you are always so in control and together, with your best foot forward, and I admire that. But I also admire how you know you can let your guard down with me and you can now, Lor. I’ve been there, it hurts, it really, really hurts. I get that feeling,” Luke paused, he was not used to heart to hearts, but with Lorelai it was right, “And I get that you feel you can’t lose control now, that you’re the reigning the Gilmore and I get you trust me enough to lose control. So, I won’t push, but when you’re ready I’ll be here,” he told her rising from the coffee table where he’d been sitting, “Resume coffee drinking.”

Luke turned and headed in the directions of the kitchen, “Luke,” Lorelai called out to him. He paused and turned to face her, “I love you for getting me,” Luke smiled and his eyes softened, “I love you for being you,” he replied before going out to the kitchen.

“Your mother chose the metal casket for your grandmother years ago. This on is lovely and can be used for both sexes, as the linings and the handles are interchangeable, so this one can be used for both your mother and your father.”

Lorelai listened to the funeral director at Hartford East Memorial Home droan on and on about caskets, handles, plates, and insurance for the past two hours. Christopher stayed by her side the whole time and listened to the information Mr. Roth, the funeral director was giving her.

“Lor,” Christopher said, “These caskets are nice and reasonable.”

“Yes, at three thousand ten dollars each, they are quite nice for their price. For both, I’ll naturally give you a deal, $5900 for the lot including the brass handles for your father and the rose etched brass one for your mother,” Mr. Roth quoted.

Lorelai was sick of it all. She wanted it over with. Not just the arrangements, but everything the wakes, the funeral, everything, “All right,” she agreed, finally, “Let’s get this done.”

Roth smiled dimly, “All right, Ms. Gilmore, let’s go up to my office and sign the papers. After that, I’ll give you a list of funeral readings and hymns to choose from.”

Lorelai nodded, “Um , Tom,is there…what about the eulogy?”

“Generally the eulogy is delivered by a family member, but sometimes it can be written and someone else can read it for you,” Mr. Roth explained, “You can decide that and lt me know at the wake.”

Lorelai nodded, “Thank you, Mr. Roth for the information.”

“No problem, Ms. Gilmore. If you’ll just sign by the X and initial by the circle we can get this finished,” Mr. Roth pushed two forms towards Lorelai.

“What are these pages, Mr. Roth?” Christopher asked for Lorelai as she started reading.

“The white one is to confirm the order for the caskets, lining, and handles. The blue one is a promise that Ms. Gilmore will pay whatever Mr. and Mrs. Gilmore life insurance policies do not cover,” the white haired man explained.

Lorelai scoffed at that, “My parent’s policies will more than cover this.”

“It’s just a precaution,” Mr. Roth replied, “The X and the circle.”

Lorelai finished reading the contract and signed her name with a flourish of the pen.

“All right, Ms. Gilmore, Mr. Hayden,” Mr. Roth said rising, “that’ll just about do it. We’ll see you Thursday afternoon. We aske the family to arrive about 1:30 pm. See you then.”

Lorelai nodded and Chris shook the man’s hand as he and Lorelai left the memorial home.

“You okay, Lor,” Chris asked, a guiding hand at her back.

“Yeah, I’m good. I’m just glad it’s over, that guy was creepy,” Lorelai gave a mock shiver.

“No one ever said funeral directors were normal people,” Christopher commented then he sighed, “Lorelai, I need you to be serious for a minute, okay?”

“Chris, I’m really fine,” Lorelai said, trying to avoid another emotional talk.

“I know that’s not what I was going to ask you,” Christopher sighed, “Lorelai, you’re engaged to Luke, I know you’re in love with him, so why am I here instead of him?”

Lorelai stopped walking and was silent for a moment; she didn’t think Christopher would question her motives, “So you don’t want to be here. You could have said something,” she snapped.

“No, it’s not that,” he assured, “but it’s a strange choice, Lor. You didn’t call him to the hospital; you don’t want him involved in the arrangements. I’m just curious as to why.”

Lorelai was quiet again, she couldn’t tell the truth, that she couldn’t cry in front of him, “Because you’re Rory’s father, you knew Mom and Dad, we’ve got history.”

“Okay,” Chris replied, “good enough.”

Back in Stars Hollow, on their favorite bridge, Rory waited for Jess. She knew he’d ask he the question she’d been expecting, why him?

Rory heard footsteps approach the bridge and turned to offer Jess a greeting, “What are you doing here?” she asked when instead of seeing Jess, as she expected, she saw Dean.

“I saw you come out this way, Luke, wouldn’t let me talk to you on the phone,” he explained, “Why didn’t you call me?”

“Because she called me,” Jess replied, arriving at the bridge with two bags from Luke’s.

“Rory?” Dean’s tone held a lot of questions.

“Look,” Jess said a bit defensively, “Rory called me because she chose to call me. Why she did that is her business, not ours. She’s been through a difficult time and you and I doing our usual chest pounding macho man routine isn’t going to help her, so let’s act like two adults and let this end properly.”

“Sure,” Dean replied closing the space between Jess and himself, “get lost. Go back to New York or California, leave Rory to me.”

Jess stepped back from Dean and looked at Rory who now sat on the bridge crying. Jess ignored Dean and knelt beside Rory, “I’m sorry, Rory. Here, eat your burger, calm down, and I’ll finish this.”

“Okay,” Jess said to Dean, “Now your presence is upsetting Rory. She’s all ready upset enough so you need to leave now.”

“I want to hear that from her,” Dean pointed at Rory.

Rory jumped from her perch on the bridge, “How dense are you? Did you hear Jess? I called him; I want to talk to him. Go home, Dean. Go back to Lindsey, leave me alone!” Rory grew quiet after that outburst and sat down on the bridge, taking a huge bite of her burger.

“You heard it from her,” Jess said and quietly, “Thank you for your concern. See you,” Jess sat down next to Rory then and began sharing her French fries ignoring Dean’s presence and exit.

“Luke, Rory, I’m home,” Lorelai called once Christopher dropped her off in front of the house.

“I’m in here,” Luke called from the kitchen, “Rory’s out with Jess.”

Lorelai followed Luke’s voice to the kitchen, “Hey,” she whispered, leaning up to give him a kiss, “What are you making?”

“Pecan pie,” Luke replied, “and your favorite butter pecan ice cream.”

“Okay,” Lorelai sighed, “and this is without begging, what did I do to deserve that?”

Luke leaned over and kissed her lips lightly, “You’ve been you.”

“Call me when that pie’s ready I’m going to go and see what I have that is suitable for a funeral,” Lorelai said quickly on her way up to the bedroom.

Luke leaned over and checked the pie, “Almost done,” he said to himself then he heard Lorelai running down the steps, “Luke! Luke!” she called her voice nearly frantic.

Luke was out to the living room in a flash, “Lorelai, what is it? What’s wrong?” he asked, wondering if the melt down he knew was coming had finally come.

“I have one black suit,” she told him, holding the outfit, tears beginning to swim in her blue eyes. “I have to go through two days of wakes and one long funeral, and I only have one black suit. And that’s a summer suit and it’s October and I’ll be freezing and shivering and that is so not proper…”

Luke gently took Lorelai by the arms, “Whoa, calm down, Lor. You have plenty of grey suits and a nice navy blue skirt that I love, by the way, you can wear those things.”

“No,” she shook her head, “I have to wear black suits. My mother will come back and haunt me if I wear anything other than a stylish black suit to her wake and funeral, and I really don’t want my mother haunting me for all eternity!” Lorelai’s rant finally ended.

“Okay, so,” Luke thought for a moment, “Why don’t you and I, while the pie’s cooling and the ice cream is freezing, hit the mall and find some seasonal, tasteful, stylish, black outfits.”

Lorelai listened to Luke’s’ calm voice, his sensible suggestion, and stomped her foot on the floor, “Why are you doing this?”

“Doing what?” Luke asked, confused.

“Baking me pies, making me ice cream, giving me coffee, offering to take me shopping, why are you being so nice to me? You are never nice to me,” Lorelai ranted at Luke.

Luke’s jaw dropped and his blue eyes grew bright. Those words hurt him to the very core. He understood Lorelai’s armor was up but that was just too much, “Lorelai, I get that you are upset, but how can you say I’m never nice to you? Am I that horrible to you? Just because I don’t give you coffee without arguing sometimes, and I get on you about eating junk food, does that make me that bad a person? I don’t want you to make yourself sick with that stuff, but I know you love it. And today, I’m trying to do something that you love or even like, because I know how upset you are about losing your parents. You don’t want to show it to me or admit it to me, you don’t even want to admit it to yourself, but I know you’re hurt and I want to make it better. This is the only way I know how to make it better!”

“You can’t make it better, Luke! You can’t make it better! There is nothing to fix, there is nothing that you can do to change what’s happened. I’d appreciate it if you were just sour surly Luke, who rolls his eyes at my coffee addiction and makes me beg for my burger and fries. This nice act is really not making it any easier,” Lorelai told him.

Luke nodded, “Okay, but I all ready made the pie and the mall offer…so…”

“Okay, when the pie’s done, we’ll go look for black suits and you can bug me about how much everything costs,” Lorelai agreed.

Luke smiled and kissed her cheek quickly, “Good deal.”

Back at the bridge, Rory and Jess were finishing up their burgers. Jess was ill at ease and Rory could tell he had something he wanted to say to her, “So spill it,” she said, “What’s on your mind?”

“What makes you think there is anything on my mind?” Jess asked, toying with his zipper.

“Because you are playing with your clothing and you are not the clothing player type, so what’s bugging you?” Rory asked.

“Nothing really, Rory, it’s just…I’m going to get kind of mushy here for a minute, document this moment, it does not come around very often, but…” Jess sighed, “But I just wanted to say, I’m glad that you can, that you thought you could call me, that you knew I was telling the truth last summer when I told you could count on me now. I’m so glad that you want me to be here for you, I’m just sorry that it took something like this for you to realize it.” Jess studied the pond.

Rory reached out her hand and lifted Jess’ chin, gently turning his neck so that their eyes met, “Jess, this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and there is no one I’d rather have at my side then you. I’m just sorry we lost so much time. I want…I want us to start over, to start new…but I want us to do it in Stars Hollow. That’s what freaked me out last May, not leaving with you, it was leaving,” she explained.

“Rory, I bailed on you, twice,” Jess confessed, “but I never stopped lov…”

Jess didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence. Rory’s lips were on his, gently parting them with her tongue. It was a reunion for them. They’d been rejoined by the tragedies in Rory’s life, but they were never reunited until this kiss.

“Wow,” Jess gasped, “You really learned a few things from me, huh?”

“I am a quicker learner,” Rory quipped, leaning her head against Jess’ shoulder, “Jess?”

“Huh?” he answered.

“It hurts, you know?” she told him on a sigh.

Jess lifted his arm and cradled her head next to his chest, “I know it does. You loved your grandparents and they are gone now. But I’m here, and I’ll always be here. I promise you that. I love you, Rory.”

Rory rubbed her cheek against Jess’ shirt and whispered, “I love you too.”

They sat there a moment, holding each other, listening to the breeze, then Rory spoke again, “Jess?”

“Yes, Rory,” he replied.

“Come with me, to the funerals?” she requested not looking at him, just holding on to him.

“Of course, I will, Rory,” he replied dropping a kiss on her head, “You didn’t even need to ask.”