[LizEvans]

@ordinary Mit The Jess Solution sind es doch erst 6 Kapitel, oder?


Paved Paradise: Aftermath


Disclaimer: I do not own.

Also, the Jess you see in the later parts of this story is a more mature Jess than we've seen on the show. Keep that in mind as you read. Please send feedback.

“Luke! Mom! I’m home!” Rory called, dropping her purse by the door.

“Ssh,” Luke put a finger to his lips. “Your Mom is still asleep.”

“Really?” She never sleeps in the middle of the day.” Rory said, taking off her shoes.

“Yeah, but I doubt she’s slept at all in the last few days. Where’s Jess?”

“Nice switch,” Rory smiled. “He went back to the diner. He said it stopped raining so you could walk back when you were ready.”

“Okay.” Luke sighed. “I really should go back. We’ve been open so irregularly and…” Luke shook his head, trailing off.

“Luke, practically all of Stars Hollow was at my grandparents’ funeral,” Rory pointed out. “By the way, you were great out there today, with my Mom.”

Luke shrugged, “She needed me. I was there.”

Rory leaned up and put her arms around Luke’s neck. That surprised him, she didn’t usually show him much affection, “You’re always there, Luke. Thank you.”

Luke put his arms around Rory and held her tightly, “Anything for you and your Mom, Rory. You know that.”

Their hug broke and Luke went to the kitchen, “Coffee?”

“Please,” Rory agreed getting cups while Luke started the coffee and heated the kettle for tea.

“So, um, how are you handling everything?” Like asked, dipping his tea bag up and down once the water had boiled.

“Pretty good, I think,” Rory replied. “Easier every day, and easier with Jess being back.”

“That’s part of what I meant,” Luke said. “How are you with Jess being here?”

“Considering I called him in New York and begged him to come home, leave his job, his apartment…”

“Whoa, whoa, Rory, I wasn’t questioning your decision to do that, but I was sort of wondering…”

“Why I did it?” Rory finished.

“Well, yeah,” Luke replied.

Rory stopped her pacing around the kitchen and sat down at the table. “I don’t know. I guess it started the day of Liz’s wedding. Jess showed up at my dorm and asked me to move away with him. Of course, I said no and I’m afraid I was rather mean to him. I think I really hurt him. Anyway, before I told him no, he told me I could count on him. For some reason, those words came back to me when,” she paused, “it happened.”

“Jess grew up in Venice Beach and he really grew up in New York,” Luke commented. “Where are you two…I mean is there a future?”

Rory shrugged, “I don’t know. I guess that’s up to Jess.”

The phone rang then and Rory made a dive for it so it wouldn’t wake Lorelai. “Hello,” she greeted. “Oh, hi Jess. Yeah, hold on, he’s right here.” With a small frown, Rory handed the phone to Luke.

“Hello,” he said, then listened. “How could we be out of bread? Just go to Doose’s and get some.” A pause. “Still?” Another pause. “Fine, I’ll be right there.”

Luke put the phone back in it’s cradle. “I have to go to the diner, we ran out of bread and Taylor won’t let Jess in the market when he’s there.”

“Still banned, huh?” Rory smiled a bit.

“Yep,” Luke sighed.

Rory could tell by the look on Luke’s face that there was nothing he wanted to do more than stay there and wait for Lorelai to wake up, but his business had to be his first priority. Rory tried to make it easier on him. “Don’t worry,” she told him. “I’ll take care of her.”

Luke gently ran a finger down Rory’s cheek. “I know you will. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

With that, Luke left Rory who headed to her room to change out of her funeral clothes and to retrieve a new book. She had a lot to consider and think about, however, so she got very little reading done.

Foremost, Jess was back in her life. Was that a permanent thing? Or now that the trauma passed, would he leave again? Did she want him to stay? Of course she did. They had said their “I love yous” and past mistakes were long forgiven. They had a life together now, they had a future. Rory was sure of that.

Rory sighed; glad her part of the decision was made. She’d talk it all over with Jess tomorrow. She would make sure he understood her feelings and would seek his intentions. He had been quiet on the drive home from Hartford when they had gone to get the truck. Rory feared he was misunderstanding her messages. She was afraid that he thought they were over again.

A blood curdling scream jolted Rory out of her musings. Startled, it took her a moment to realize it was Lorelai that was its source or that Luke’s name was the one she was crying out.

Rory jolted at her mother’s third cry and ran up to the bedroom. Lorelai was sitting up in bed, her head in her hands, and her elbows on her knees, sobbing hysterically.

“Mom,” Rory called encircling her mother in her arms, “Mom, its okay. It’s all right.”

“No,” she sobbed, “No, it’s not. It’ll never be all right again. He’s gone, he’s gone.”

Rory rubbed her mother’s back in soothing circles, “I know,” she consoled. She had felt that way too. “I know you’ll miss Grandma and Grandpa.”

“No, no, no…” Lorelai cried, “Not, not them. Luke. I’ll never see him again or hold…he’ll never know…”

Lorelai’s hysterics were scaring Rory. What on earth was she talking about? “Mom,” Rory said gently, “Luke’s fine. He’s just fine. He’s at the diner with Jess.”

Lorelai stopped her sobbing and pulled back from Rory’s embrace, anger in her blue eyes. “Don’t say that! Don’t lie to me like that, about that.”

“Mom, I’m not…It was a dream, just a dream…” Rory tried to pull Lorelai back into her arms. Lorelai resisted her comfort, rolled on her side, and sobbed into what had become Luke’s pillow uttering words Rory couldn’t make out.

“It was only a dream, Mom,” she tried again. “I’ll prove it.”

Quickly Rory dialed Luke’s number and prayed he would be able to come back.

Luke left Lorelai’s cursing Taylor. He should be at Lorelai’s ready to console her the minute she needed it, ready to get her coffee or make her pancakes, not on his way across town to deal with a stupid ornery old shopkeeper who had it in for his nephew. He promised her that he would be there and now he wasn’t going to be there.

On the way to the diner, Luke picked up some bread and rolls at the market, before proceeding to settle disturbed customers. When things did calm down Jess asked, “How’s Lorelai?”

“She’s still asleep. I just…she’s come undone before…” Luke paused. He wanted to say something to Jess. “Jess, I’m proud of you.”

Jess blushed. “You don’t have to…”

“Yes, I do,” Luke said in a whisper. “I am very proud of the mature way you’ve handled yourself. Rory really needed you.”

Jess nodded. “I told her she could count on me. And she can. Even after I go back to…”

The ringing of the telephone cut Jess off and kept Luke from really processing what Jess had said. “Luke’s,” he answered in his customary bark.

“Luke, its Rory. You have to come home.” She sounded frantic.

“Why? What happened?” Luke asked. He knew he shouldn’t have left Lorelai, he knew it.

“It’s Mom. She had some dream and she’s crying. I think the dream was about you. She just keeps saying your name over and over,” Rory blurted out. “I can’t make her stop. I…”

“I’m on my way,” Luke told Rory. “Everything is going to be fine.” Those words seemed to calm her. Once Rory started breathing more normally, Luke handed the phone to Jess as he left the diner without explaining to anyone.

“Hello, Rory,” Jess spoke evenly. “Luke just ran out of here. Are you okay?”

“My Mom’s really freaked out. She just wants Luke,” Rory told him.

“Does that upset you?” he asked, tucking the phone between his chin and his shoulder so he could refill some of the customers coffee cups.

“No. I mean, I know what it’s like. I only wanted you when I heard,” Rory replied.

Jess’ body ached with the question, “What about now?” He was afraid to bring that up right now though. Rory had more important things on her mind than that issue. They did however need to talk about some things, some things like Dean. He’d let it go, but it was time now to address it. He didn’t want that between them after he went back to New York. “Rory, um, I’m going to go. There’s so much to do here, but we really need to talk about some stuff. Can you meet me at the bridge tomorrow around two o’clock?”

“Sure,” Rory replied. “I’ll make us a basket.”

Remembering her last basket he smiled. “No thanks. I’ve got that covered.”

Rory was never so glad to see anyone as she was to see Luke. Lorelai’s sobs could be heard as soon as he walked in the house. Taking the steps two at a time, he went to her.

Lorelai felt the bed shift, but instead of looking up, she held Luke’s pillow closer.

“Lorelai,” Luke said softly, stroking her soft hair. “I’m here, Lor. I’m here.”

“No,” she sobbed into the pillow. “Luke, I’m so sorry.”

“Lorelai I’m…” Luke tried again, “look at me.” Gently, he touched her shoulder and forced her to turn around so her red, swollen eyes could meet his. If she could look into his eyes, she would see he was real, he was fine, and her fears were only in her dreams.

When they made eye contact, the wretched heartbroken sobs stopped and Lorelai sat up throwing her arms around Luke.

“Luke.” She began to cry again. “It’s really you. You’re alive, you’re fine…”

Luke held her close and rocked her back and forth in a soothing rhythm. “Of course it’s me. You think I wouldn’t’ be here for my girl?”

Lorelai sniffed, “It was so horrible, Luke.”

He ran his thumb across her cheek. “What was?”

“My dream,” she said. “I mean I guess it was a dream since you’re here, but it seemed so real.”

Luke kissed the top of her head, “Tell me.”

Lorelai took a deep breath and sniffed, “We were in the cemetery burying my parents and after the funeral we went back to the Inn and you went to the diner and…that’s when it got really horrible. Some…someone hhi..tt and you…” She held him so tight he couldn’t breathe, “I love you so much, Luke. I can’t lose you too.”

“I love you, too Baby,” he replied. “You’ll never lose me. I’ll always be with you, Lorelai.” Luke had been saying baby a lot lately. Lorelai hated it but when he held her like this, so small and vulnerable, it slipped off his tongue. What bothered him was she didn’t seem to notice.

“Don’t leave me alone again, Luke,” she begged. “Not ever. Promise me.”

He didn’t know what to say to that. Logically he’d have to leave her sight again, but for now he told her what she needed to hear, “I promise. Are you hungry?” Luke knew she hadn’t eaten at all that day.

She yawned, suddenly exhausted. “No.” It was small and far away sounding. “I want to lie down again.”

Luke gently helped her down and tucked her blankets around her shoulder, “You should eats soon. You want some coffee? A danish?”

Again, she shook her head. “No, I just…I just want you, Luke.”

“You’ve got me,” he replied. “But are you sure there’s nothing I can do for you?”

“Um, can you hold me?” she asked quietly, seeming unsure.

Luke slipped off his shoes and slid onto the bed. “As long as you need me too.”

Lorelai cuddled up next to Luke’s chest. Before she drifted off to sleep she softly whispered, “Forever then.”

Luke gently ran through her hair, soothing her as best he could with his touch. When she uttered those soft words, Luke sighed. His Lorelai was strong, capable, and incredibly independent. So much so that it sometimes hurt his feelings how little she needed him. The Lorelai he held now…he’d have to wait and see. Until then, until an answer came, he’d do as he was now. He’d hold her, love her, and if she needed him to, he’d shelter her. That after all, was what he did when he loved someone and he could never love anyone more than his Lorelai.


The next afternoon Rory waited at the bridge for Jess to arrive. It was all ready ten past two. He was late, but the diner was shorthanded so she wouldn’t worry. Anyway, the new Jess wasn’t the type to stand her up.

Jess had been helping out so much since here grandparents’ deaths. He took over at the diner when Luke was needed at home. He kept her up as best he could. He even got over his fear of speaking in front of crowds to read her grandfather’s eulogy when she was too overcome to finish the tribute. He was showing the world the man she always knew he was.

Rory sat lost in thoughts about Jess. He’d become such a wonderful, mature man in only a few short months. She loved him like that. Who was she kidding? She loved him period.

“Penny for them?” Jess greeted sitting down beside Rory. “You were a million miles away.”

“I’m sorry. I have a lot on my mind,” Rory said. “You’re late.”

“I know. I had to give Caesar and Lane breaks first,” Jess replied. “How’s your Mom?”

Rory shook her head. “Not good. I don’t think she let Luke out of her sight long enough to go to the bathroom last night.”

“Luke can handle it. He wants to help her,” Jess assured Rory. “But the diner…”

“Jess, I go back to school on Monday, but if you need help at the diner my classes are usually done by three o’clock. I could commute back here and help out for a few days. I was probably going to do that anyway,” Rory told him.

“I’ll see,” said Jess. “Maybe your Mom will be feeling better by then.”

“I hope so. It’s so…she’s not usually like that,” Rory said. “I mean yeah, she can definitely lose it, but they weren’t even that close.”

Jess sighed, ‘Maybe…never mind. You want to eat?”

“I never say no to a Jess burger,” Rory smiled.

Jess unpacked their lunch and he and Rory ate in silence. He wanted to address what he’d overheard the night of the wake, between her and Dean. She wanted to address her feelings for him and ensure he was here to stay.

Rory broke the silence. “Jess, I want you to know…to realize how much it meant to me to have you here during all of this.”

“I know, Rory,” Jess replied. “I told you that you could count on me now. You can, even after I got back to New York. I will be here for you.”

“New York? I thought…I should have realized. You hate Stars Hollow. You’d never want to stay here.” Rory tried to sound indifferent and fight her tears.

“Rory…”Jess began. “Don’t be upset. I know we shared a lot this week. I told you how I feel about you. I told you that I love you and that isn’t going to change. I’ve loved you since that day on the street when I returned the book that I “borrowed.” He made the quotes with his fingers.

“Then why? If you love me and I love you why are you leaving?” Rory asked, confused.

“Because…Rory, I know.” Jess said.

“You know?” She repeated, confused.

“I know. I heard you and Dean talking at the funeral home Thursday. I didn’t want to say anything then, but Rory,” Jess sighed. “I can’t do this again. I can’t compete with him and lose again. I can’t.”

“You don’t have to compete with him. It’s not him that I want and after that night, I knew that. I knew once and for all that after we… after he promised so many things and reneged on them, I knew that I could never love him the…I could never…” Rory stopped for breath.

“What, Rory? Spit it out, just say it,” Jess implored her.

“I knew that I could never love him the way that I love you. I knew what I did was so wrong, but…” Rory trailed off and studied the old wood of the bridge.

Jess reached out with a long finger and lifted her chin. “Rory, why didn’t you say anything to me about it? I mean, we’ve done so much talking this week, so much soul searching. Why did you leave that part out?”

It was true. They had done a lot of talking. They had talked about their lives as they were not. She had talked about Yale and Paris, about how it was to live with Luke, and about how much she regretted rejecting Jess that day. He had talked about his job as a messenger, what he was really using that money for, his life in the New York flat with seven other guys. He had told her about his life, his exploits, and the way he couldn’t touch or kiss another woman with uttering her name. So why had she left out the fact she slept with Dean. With Jess’ sordid past, he wouldn’t rebuke her for it.

Rory’s throat close and tears began to fall from her eyes, “Because I was ashamed,” she admitted. “I thought I really loved him. I thought he loved me and that he would do all the things he said he’d do. But he didn’t. I didn’t want you to know what an idiot I’d been or that I’d been with someone else’s husband.”

She said that last word on a sob and Jess pulled her into his arms. He sat with her face buried in his chest and rocked her back and forth. “Rory, you screwed up. It’s okay to screw up. I’m the king of doing that. You don’t have to feel bad about it or embarrassed by it. But you should have told me Rory; especially since we were telling each other so much.”

Rory pulled out of his embrace, “I’m sorry, Jess. I know that I…”

Rory never got to finish her sentence. Jess’ lips were on hers kissing her with passion, love, and forgiveness. “You know, they say you never forget the first time you have sex,” he told her.

“I know,” she whispered, leaning in for another kiss.

“You know what else I be we won’t forget?” Jess asked her, teasing her with little pecks between his words.

“What?” she asked, nearly breathless with the incredible feelings running through her.

“The first time we make love. I’ve been with women Rory, but I’ve never made love. I want to make love to you. I want the first time I give that much to someone…I want it to be you.” Jess had never said so much before. It was hard to imagine him romantic like that. But this was the way of their very special bond. He could always say what she needed to hear, even if he’d once thought words like that were stupid.

“Jess, I don’t know if I’m…”

Jess cut her off with a shake of his head. “Not now, Rory. Not for a long time maybe. When we’re ready, when we’re both ready, that’s when it will happen.”

Rory hugged Jess fiercely and kissed his on the mouth. “So you’re not going back to New York?” she asked.

Jess sighed. “I have to go back temporarily to see what credits I can transfer to Southern Connecticut State, but no, I want to be near you and if that means Stars Hollow…”

Rory shrieked with joy and hugged him again. After a minute, it dawned on her what he’d said about transferring credits. “Jess are you enrolled in college?”

Jess blushed and nodded, “Yep. I figured I had to do something with my life. I’m taking a bunch of psychology courses. I want to…I want to do what Uncle Luke did for me only without the water torture.”

Rory laughed, “So you’ll be Dr. Jess then huh?”

“Don’t mock it. Look at that Phil guy, and I think I’m much better looking.”

Rory laughed again and she and Jess finished their lunch and walked back to the diner. They were greeted by a frazzled Lane. “Thank God you’re back. I’m going crazy here. When’s Luke coming back?”

Rory sighed. That meant things weren’t better at home yet. “I better go check on my Mom. Come over later okay?” she asked Jess.

“Sure, I’m closing at eight. See you then.”

Rory left the diner and darted home as fast as possible. She walked in to find the the downstairs was still empty. Her mother had probably been in bed the entire day. She heard Luke’s voice, speaking gently to Lorelai. She couldn’t make out his words and she didn’t want to intrude. Luke was handling the situation nicely.

Truth be told, Luke wasn’t handling the situation at all. He couldn’t stand seeing Lorelai like this. And he had the diner to run. She was so crippled by her fears that he couldn’t leave her alone in the room with constantly talking to her so that she knew he was okay. If she didn’t snap out of this in a few days, he’d have to call the doctor.

“Lorelai,” Luke coaxed. “Come on, just eat a little bit of the muffin. It’s chocolate fudge. Your favorite.”

Lorelai didn’t respond to him, she just lay in the bed, covers to her chin. Luke kept trying.

“Lor, I know what you’re going through is really hard, but you can’t just lie down and die, Babe. You have to go on. You have to move on.”

“I can go on from this?” She says it like a question.

“Yeah, Lorelai. You can move on from anything. It’ll hurt, but I’ll be here and Rory.” He smoothed back her hair.

“What if something like…like my parents…happened to you. Could I move on then?” She asked looking him in the eye for the first time.

“Sure. It would take while, but sure you could.” Luke told her gently and prayed he’d said the right thing. “But nothing is going to happen to me Lorelai. Nothing at all.”

“Nothing,” she whispered into the blanket.

“That’s right,” Luke told her. “Nothing.”

Lorelai seemed to finally accept that assurance so Luke moved on to the next phase of his plan. Of course, this was a plan he was making up as he went along.

“So, do you think that tomorrow you could sleep in a bit while I go to the diner then…”

“No!” Lorelai’s reply was swift and sharp. “No, no, no…you promised not to leave me alone. You promised, Luke.”

Luke sighed and held her close as she started crying once again, “I know, Baby. I know.”