[Cedric]

ein neuer teil......


06 I was your Ava

You were my North, my South, my East, my West,
My working week and my Sunday rest.
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song,
I thought that your love would last forever:
I was wrong.
N.H. Auden


February came and disappeared again. Nothing happened.
Luke continued to go to work. Basically, it was the only thing he was doing. He buried himself in it. But step by step, he felt that he was getting better. He still couldn’t understand why Lorelai had left him but he realized that right now, he couldn’t do anything to get her back to Stars Hollow. So, he just continued to wait. And waited and waited and waited.
For something to happen…
"Lane? Could you get the phone? I’m busy!”, Luke shouted through the diner.
He was just approaching to Kirk’s table and already was annoyed of him. Kirk seemed to be in an extraordinary good mood.
“Hey there, Luke. Can I ask you a question?”
Luke took a deep breath and answered quite annoyed,
“Yeah. Shoot, Kirk.”
“Well, you know, I have saved some money and I wanted to ask you this question for a long time, but my mother had forbidden me to ask you. But today, she’s outta town, so I thought, I could seize the day.”
Luke snorted. He had no time for Kirk’s stupid talk right now, the place was packed and Lane and him had too much work to listen to guys like Kirk.
“So?”, he asked rather angry now.
Well, since Lorelai left… erm… I noticed that… that the DragonFly Inn has been closed, for quite a while. And now I have the desire to buy it. I suppose it’s yours now?”
Luke stared at him.
“Did he just say, what I think he was saying?",Luke thought.
He had become pale. His normally blue eyes had turned into black and they seemed to be shimmering. He reached out for a chair and sat down, breathing hard. He felt incapable to answer Kirk’s question. It had hit him like a stroke.
Finally, he found his words again.
“Kirk, you’re something else, you know that? How dare you asking such a question? It’s not mine, it’s Lorelai’s. She’s not dead, Kirk! She just left. She will come back. And I won’t sell it ‘till the day she’s here again. D’you understand me? End of discussion.”
With those words, he stood up and knocked Lane almost over, who was standing right in front of him to ask, whether he was okay. Luke had not exactly been quiet. In fact, every single person, sitting in the diner, stared at him.
“Oh sorry, Lane, didn’t see ya there. Uhm, could you maybe manage the diner for a few moments? I have to catch some air. Please?”
“Yeah, of course, Luke. Take your time.”
“Thanks.”

Luke went out the diner and blindly began to run out of the town, as far as his feet were carrying him. And as many times before, he ended up in front of her dream. Her dream that had come true. The DragonFly Inn.
Kirk had been right, it was closed now, Luke felt incapable to open it again and Sookie couldn’t manage it alone. So they decided to close it for a while. It felt like forever, since he entered the hotel.

And today, again, Luke sat down at the stairs and took a deep breath. He couldn’t quite explain it, but as Kirk mentioned the inn and Lorelai, something died inside of him. It tore his heart into pieces. Nobody ever said that she was gone, at least not in front him. But hearing the words, said out loud, the truth hit him hard.
Maybe she wouldn’t come back. Maybe she loved somebody else, or even worse, maybe she was dead…
He hadn’t heard from her since January and the longer there was no trace of her, the more desperate he became. His lifeline was cut…

After what seemed like hours to him, he made a decision. He stood up, took his keys and climbed the stairs. He hadn’t entered the hotel since her departure. He just couldn’t do it. But now, he single-minded opened the door and went through the threshold, where all the magic had begun. Their fight, their first moment, their first kiss. It all had started there.

Luke moved further in. It hadn’t changed. Everything looked exactly the same. Luke went into Lorelai’s office. Still, no changes. He sat down and opened the top drawer. Lorelai’s typical mess awaited him. Papers were mixed with a lipstick, a cup and loads of candies. Inevitable, something similar to a smile appeared on Luke’s face. He opened the next drawer, in the expectation to find more papers. But a small piece of paper, lying on top, caught his eyes. Luke took it and switched on a light to regard it more closely. His first impression had been right. It was a picture. An ultrasonic one. Luke realized it was a picture of an unborn child. He grew more curious.
Who's was it?
Luke turned around the paper and as he read the writings, the world twirled around him. He gasped for air, twinkled and read it again.
This just was too unbelievable to be true. But there it was, Lorelai’s name.
And at that moment, some things became clearer to Luke.
Lorelai’s sickness the days before she left. Her references to successful mothers…

But something still made no sense at all. Why did she left? Luke always wanted kids with her, they already had talked about that issue. He would have been the happiest man on the planet.


Hundreds of miles away from Stars Hollow, a woman walked around a small park all alone. And as alone as she walked, she felt. She had no one on the planet to stand by her side. To help her. To guide her. To be there for her. To make the world spin faster.
She once had that someone...
But right now and for the rest of her life, she would be alone.
Alone in her suffering, alone in everything she was planning to do.
And even though, she knew that she was his Ava Gardner, she was sure that he would never forgive her.