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she thought it was too late
Nani****
Posting Freak
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Beiträge: 1.096
Themen: 3
Registriert seit: 12.10.2004
#4

10.07.2005, 20:32
Also, jetzt kommt zwar fast nur Kritik, aber aich hoffe trotzdem das du mir nicht böse bist.

Also:
1. Es heißt nicht Lorelei, sonder Lorelai.
2. Du solltst dir einen Beta-reader anschaffen, denn deine Rechtschreibung ist manchmal echt grausig.
3. Du solltest mehr beschreiben, die Gefühle und was so drum herum passiert.
4. Wenn du mehr beschreibst ist auch nicht gleich alles so holter die polter.
5. An den Charakteren musst du noch ein bisschen Arbeiten, die hast du manchmal noch nicht so gut getroffen.
6. Du musst drauf achten wo du deine Absätze machst.

So, jetzt mal was positives, ich find den Aufhänger der Story echt gut und für den Anfang ist das ganz okay.

Sei mir net bös.

ciao lg nani
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
*sig *ava* thanks*
Ich reise schon zwei Monate - bald bin ich gar nicht mehr da. (K.T.)
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Nachrichten in diesem Thema
she thought it was too late - von fantasticGG - 10.07.2005, 18:24
she thought it was too late - von JamieA - 10.07.2005, 19:18
she thought it was too late - von fantasticGG - 10.07.2005, 19:41
she thought it was too late - von Nani**** - 10.07.2005, 20:32
she thought it was too late - von fantasticGG - 10.07.2005, 20:35
she thought it was too late - von Nani**** - 10.07.2005, 20:45
she thought it was too late - von GilmoreFanatic - 10.07.2005, 21:05
she thought it was too late - von XxPruexX - 10.07.2005, 21:24
she thought it was too late - von Lava - 10.07.2005, 22:20
she thought it was too late - von plaudertasche - 10.07.2005, 22:40
she thought it was too late - von Jule13 - 10.07.2005, 22:46
she thought it was too late - von fantasticGG - 12.07.2005, 12:05
she thought it was too late - von BuffyAnne - 12.07.2005, 12:12
she thought it was too late - von fantasticGG - 12.07.2005, 12:43
she thought it was too late - von Lava - 12.07.2005, 15:38
she thought it was too late - von -Rory gILMORE- - 12.07.2005, 17:01
she thought it was too late - von Nani**** - 12.07.2005, 18:20
she thought it was too late - von fantasticGG - 12.07.2005, 19:17
she thought it was too late - von fantasticGG - 12.07.2005, 20:58
she thought it was too late - von Jule13 - 12.07.2005, 23:33
she thought it was too late - von fantasticGG - 13.07.2005, 14:53
she thought it was too late - von fantasticGG - 13.07.2005, 21:38
she thought it was too late - von Nani**** - 13.07.2005, 21:49
she thought it was too late - von Lava - 15.07.2005, 20:35
she thought it was too late - von Princetongirl - 15.07.2005, 20:51
she thought it was too late - von Jule13 - 16.07.2005, 00:09
she thought it was too late - von jutschi - 16.07.2005, 08:39
she thought it was too late - von fantasticGG - 16.07.2005, 11:40
she thought it was too late - von Jule13 - 16.07.2005, 22:46
she thought it was too late - von fantasticGG - 19.07.2005, 16:34
she thought it was too late - von jutschi - 19.07.2005, 18:12
she thought it was too late - von Nani**** - 19.07.2005, 19:22
she thought it was too late - von Lava - 20.07.2005, 14:56
she thought it was too late - von Jule13 - 21.07.2005, 00:39
she thought it was too late - von jutschi - 29.07.2005, 15:21
she thought it was too late - von Nani**** - 29.07.2005, 16:51
she thought it was too late - von Princetongirl - 29.07.2005, 17:33
she thought it was too late - von Valpuri - 07.08.2005, 23:10
she thought it was too late - von fantasticGG - 10.08.2005, 19:20
she thought it was too late - von Valpuri - 10.08.2005, 19:24
she thought it was too late - von fantasticGG - 10.08.2005, 19:42
she thought it was too late - von fantasticGG - 10.08.2005, 21:00
she thought it was too late - von jutschi - 10.08.2005, 21:42
she thought it was too late - von Valpuri - 10.08.2005, 22:09
she thought it was too late - von 23 Zwerge - 10.08.2005, 22:09
she thought it was too late - von Jule13 - 10.08.2005, 23:11
she thought it was too late - von Lava - 11.08.2005, 16:45
she thought it was too late - von fantasticGG - 11.08.2005, 19:17
she thought it was too late - von marry-b - 11.08.2005, 20:08
she thought it was too late - von fantasticGG - 11.08.2005, 20:11
she thought it was too late - von fantasticGG - 11.08.2005, 20:55
she thought it was too late - von Valpuri - 11.08.2005, 22:05
she thought it was too late - von Jule13 - 12.08.2005, 01:02
she thought it was too late - von jutschi - 12.08.2005, 08:27
she thought it was too late - von Valpuri - 12.08.2005, 09:35
she thought it was too late - von Lava - 12.08.2005, 14:09
she thought it was too late - von Jule13 - 12.08.2005, 18:19
she thought it was too late - von fantasticGG - 12.08.2005, 18:24
she thought it was too late - von fantasticGG - 12.08.2005, 20:51
she thought it was too late - von marry-b - 12.08.2005, 20:56
she thought it was too late - von fantasticGG - 12.08.2005, 21:01
she thought it was too late - von Valpuri - 12.08.2005, 21:20
she thought it was too late - von Jule13 - 12.08.2005, 21:55
she thought it was too late - von fantasticGG - 13.08.2005, 15:22
she thought it was too late - von Daniela05 - 14.08.2005, 02:15
she thought it was too late - von Valpuri - 14.08.2005, 12:42
she thought it was too late - von Lava - 14.08.2005, 13:30
she thought it was too late - von ***jojo*** - 04.09.2005, 20:48
she thought it was too late - von Nani**** - 04.09.2005, 21:41
she thought it was too late - von fantasticGG - 09.04.2006, 19:51

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  1. GilmoreGirls.de - Community in Deutschland
  2. Gilmore GirlsFanworks & Co.
  3. Fanfiction
  4. Abgebrochene FanFictions