Come on let's fall in love

Come on let's fall in love

*jule*
Senior Member

Beiträge: 467
Themen: 1
Registriert seit: 02.01.2005

#23

04.12.2005, 21:53

hi du
also ich finde deine ff bis jetzt eigentlc ganz gut, also von der handlung her (nur das mit der verlobung, find ich ein bisschen unrealistisch, naja...)
aber ich finde du solltest aufpassen,dass du die rihchtige satzstellung beibehälst uhdn nicht so sehr dialekt-hochdeutsch misch masch zu machen, ich hoffe du weiÃt was ich meine...

[Bild: th_vm1.jpg]

avi by ordinary thx!!

Suchen

« Ein Thema zurück | Ein Thema vor »

Nachrichten in diesem Thema

Come on let's fall in love - von Luna_Bezi - 02.12.2005, 14:41

Come on let's fall in love - von Mrs Czuchry - 02.12.2005, 14:44

Come on let's fall in love - von Luna_Bezi - 02.12.2005, 15:27

Come on let's fall in love - von Betti - 02.12.2005, 15:36

Come on let's fall in love - von Mrs Czuchry - 02.12.2005, 15:37

Come on let's fall in love - von Luna_Bezi - 02.12.2005, 15:40

Come on let's fall in love - von binit - 02.12.2005, 15:56

Come on let's fall in love - von Luna_Bezi - 02.12.2005, 19:31

Come on let's fall in love - von Luna_Bezi - 02.12.2005, 22:36

Come on let's fall in love - von Mrs Czuchry - 02.12.2005, 22:43

Come on let's fall in love - von amylynnlee - 02.12.2005, 22:44

Come on let's fall in love - von Luna_Bezi - 02.12.2005, 22:50

Come on let's fall in love - von Luna_Bezi - 03.12.2005, 13:41

Come on let's fall in love - von Mrs Czuchry - 03.12.2005, 14:14

Come on let's fall in love - von amylynnlee - 03.12.2005, 15:44

Come on let's fall in love - von Luna_Bezi - 03.12.2005, 18:27

Come on let's fall in love - von Mrs Czuchry - 04.12.2005, 12:44

Come on let's fall in love - von amylynnlee - 04.12.2005, 13:29

Come on let's fall in love - von Luna_Bezi - 04.12.2005, 14:01

Come on let's fall in love - von amylynnlee - 04.12.2005, 14:27

Come on let's fall in love - von Luna_Bezi - 04.12.2005, 21:18

Come on let's fall in love - von cherrygirl - 04.12.2005, 21:40

Come on let's fall in love - von *jule* - 04.12.2005, 21:53

Come on let's fall in love - von Luna_Bezi - 04.12.2005, 21:57

Come on let's fall in love - von **lil** - 06.12.2005, 16:58

Come on let's fall in love - von hollow girl - 06.12.2005, 20:32

Come on let's fall in love - von amylynnlee - 06.12.2005, 20:56

Come on let's fall in love - von Luna_Bezi - 11.12.2005, 12:55

Come on let's fall in love - von hollow girl - 11.12.2005, 14:44

Come on let's fall in love - von cherrygirl - 11.12.2005, 17:50

Come on let's fall in love - von Luna_Bezi - 11.12.2005, 18:25

Come on let's fall in love - von cherrygirl - 11.12.2005, 18:44

Come on let's fall in love - von hollow girl - 11.12.2005, 18:46

Come on let's fall in love - von Luna_Bezi - 11.12.2005, 18:55

Come on let's fall in love - von hollow girl - 11.12.2005, 19:02

Come on let's fall in love - von Mrs Czuchry - 11.12.2005, 19:03

Come on let's fall in love - von Luna_Bezi - 11.12.2005, 20:00

Come on let's fall in love - von hollow girl - 11.12.2005, 20:11

Come on let's fall in love - von **lil** - 12.12.2005, 16:37

Come on let's fall in love - von cherrygirl - 12.12.2005, 20:00

Come on let's fall in love - von Luna_Bezi - 13.12.2005, 20:34

Come on let's fall in love - von leighleigh - 14.12.2005, 15:23

Come on let's fall in love - von cherrygirl - 15.12.2005, 16:27

Come on let's fall in love - von **jeanee** - 15.12.2005, 20:07

Come on let's fall in love - von Luna_Bezi - 16.12.2005, 14:41

Come on let's fall in love - von cherrygirl - 16.12.2005, 16:51

Come on let's fall in love - von **jeanee** - 17.12.2005, 01:12

Come on let's fall in love - von binit - 17.12.2005, 14:04

Come on let's fall in love - von Mrs. Logan - 17.12.2005, 14:10

Come on let's fall in love - von leighleigh - 17.12.2005, 14:36

Come on let's fall in love - von jutschi - 17.12.2005, 19:23

Come on let's fall in love - von cherrygirl - 25.12.2005, 11:23

Come on let's fall in love - von **Mrs.Mariano** - 25.12.2005, 21:59

Come on let's fall in love - von leighleigh - 04.01.2006, 13:52

Come on let's fall in love - von Luna_Bezi - 04.01.2006, 20:03

Come on let's fall in love - von **jeanee** - 04.01.2006, 20:50

Come on let's fall in love - von *lilly-maus* - 18.01.2006, 19:45

Come on let's fall in love - von Luna_Bezi - 18.01.2006, 21:53

Come on let's fall in love - von cherrygirl - 19.01.2006, 16:27

Come on let's fall in love - von **jeanee** - 19.01.2006, 21:55

Come on let's fall in love - von binit - 20.01.2006, 14:18

Come on let's fall in love - von Tagträumerin - 20.01.2006, 16:29

Come on let's fall in love - von jutschi - 20.01.2006, 20:38

Come on let's fall in love - von Sarah_Terenzi - 20.01.2006, 21:12

Come on let's fall in love - von Luna_Bezi - 21.01.2006, 10:15

Come on let's fall in love - von **jeanee** - 23.01.2006, 19:32

Come on let's fall in love - von HotMilo - 25.01.2006, 17:39

Come on let's fall in love - von jutschi - 27.01.2006, 17:27

Come on let's fall in love - von KellyClarkson92 - 15.03.2006, 21:50

Come on let's fall in love - von ajnevs04 - 16.03.2006, 13:20

Come on let's fall in love - von Luna_Bezi - 16.03.2006, 13:33

Come on let's fall in love - von cherrygirl - 16.03.2006, 17:11

Come on let's fall in love - von Fritzi753 - 26.06.2006, 19:40

Come on let's fall in love - von *lilly-maus* - 27.06.2006, 13:57

Come on let's fall in love - von *lilly-maus* - 03.07.2006, 17:37

Come on let's fall in love - von Luna_Bezi - 03.07.2006, 21:25

Come on let's fall in love - von coffeegilgirl90 - 04.07.2006, 16:33

Come on let's fall in love - von Luna_Bezi - 04.07.2006, 16:56

Come on let's fall in love - von coffeegilgirl90 - 05.07.2006, 13:12

Come on let's fall in love - von Fritzi753 - 05.07.2006, 19:11

Come on let's fall in love - von cherrygirl - 06.07.2006, 13:59

Come on let's fall in love - von ajnevs04 - 06.07.2006, 15:24

Come on let's fall in love - von JuniperBreeze - 11.07.2006, 23:02

Come on let's fall in love - von Luna_Bezi - 12.07.2006, 17:28

Come on let's fall in love - von JuniperBreeze - 12.07.2006, 17:42

Come on let's fall in love - von Fritzi753 - 12.07.2006, 18:08

Come on let's fall in love - von coffeegilgirl90 - 12.07.2006, 19:01

Come on let's fall in love - von Luna_Bezi - 14.07.2006, 16:20

Come on let's fall in love - von Fritzi753 - 14.07.2006, 16:28

Come on let's fall in love - von coffeegilgirl90 - 14.07.2006, 16:38

Come on let's fall in love - von Luna_Bezi - 14.07.2006, 16:46

Come on let's fall in love - von jutschi - 14.07.2006, 18:28

Come on let's fall in love - von ajnevs04 - 15.07.2006, 16:03

Come on let's fall in love - von JuniperBreeze - 18.07.2006, 17:41

Come on let's fall in love - von ~Loorie~ - 19.07.2006, 12:31

Come on let's fall in love - von JuniperBreeze - 27.08.2006, 12:44

Come on let's fall in love - von Mrs Huntzberger - 05.09.2006, 15:47

Come on let's fall in love - von Rani1990 - 07.09.2006, 17:20

Come on let's fall in love - von JuniperBreeze - 10.10.2006, 00:07

Come on let's fall in love - von Mel-D - 10.10.2006, 00:48

Come on let's fall in love - von Rani1990 - 10.10.2006, 13:14

Come on let's fall in love - von Rani1990 - 15.10.2006, 15:41

Come on let's fall in love - von Luna_Bezi - 02.11.2006, 09:44

Come on let's fall in love - von ajnevs04 - 02.11.2006, 14:40

Come on let's fall in love - von Rani1990 - 02.11.2006, 14:54

Come on let's fall in love - von hearty26 - 31.01.2007, 14:31

Come on let's fall in love - von RoganLover - 06.02.2007, 01:24

Come on let's fall in love - von Luna_Bezi - 06.02.2007, 17:49

Come on let's fall in love - von Luna_Bezi - 09.02.2007, 15:56

Come on let's fall in love - von Luna_Bezi - 10.02.2007, 16:13

Come on let's fall in love - von jutschi - 10.02.2007, 16:17

Come on let's fall in love - von RoganLover - 10.02.2007, 16:41

Come on let's fall in love - von Luna_Bezi - 10.02.2007, 18:41

Come on let's fall in love - von jutschi - 10.02.2007, 19:40

Come on let's fall in love - von RoganLover - 11.02.2007, 01:27

Come on let's fall in love - von Mikeline - 11.02.2007, 09:59

Come on let's fall in love - von hearty26 - 11.02.2007, 10:24

Come on let's fall in love - von MinowaySunshine - 11.02.2007, 12:02

Come on let's fall in love - von Leniccah - 11.02.2007, 14:17

Come on let's fall in love - von hearty26 - 12.02.2007, 11:04

Come on let's fall in love - von Luna_Bezi - 11.04.2007, 19:30

Come on let's fall in love - von Dirthy - 11.04.2007, 22:17

Come on let's fall in love - von hearty26 - 12.04.2007, 09:34

Come on let's fall in love - von MinowaySunshine - 12.04.2007, 23:36

Come on let's fall in love - von Luna_Bezi - 20.04.2007, 14:31

Come on let's fall in love - von MinowaySunshine - 20.04.2007, 21:00

Come on let's fall in love - von Luna_Bezi - 20.04.2007, 21:29

Come on let's fall in love - von MinowaySunshine - 20.04.2007, 22:13

Come on let's fall in love - von cherry 159 - 20.04.2007, 23:06

Come on let's fall in love - von hearty26 - 22.04.2007, 15:59

Come on let's fall in love - von Luna_Bezi - 06.05.2007, 21:00

Come on let's fall in love - von cherry 159 - 06.05.2007, 21:20

Come on let's fall in love - von MinowaySunshine - 06.05.2007, 22:55

Come on let's fall in love - von Luna_Bezi - 10.05.2007, 16:48

Come on let's fall in love - von MinowaySunshine - 10.05.2007, 20:55

Come on let's fall in love - von LuHuntzberger - 24.07.2007, 00:48

Come on let's fall in love - von Fritzi753 - 01.09.2007, 19:44

Druckversion anzeigen

Gehe zu:

Benutzer, die gerade dieses Thema anschauen: 1 Gast/Gäste