[Anima Sola]

Fortsetzung von Kapitel 4:

It was past midnight when Rory woke up again, feeling herself cuddled against Logan’s body. She looked around his room, blinking to get used to the darkness. She carefully removed his arm from her belly and slowly slipped from his embrace. Making sure he was still asleep, she sat on the edge of his bed and grabbed her dress from the floor. Pulling it over quickly, she got up and left his room, heading to the dorm bathroom.
She wasn’t expecting it to be lit. She slowly opened the door and looked around. There were the two shower cases, two toilet cabinets and the line of sinks, yet there was no reason why the light was on. That changed when the door opened again and a half naked Finn stood in the door frame.
He stared at her, before a grin broke from his face. She bit her lip and watched him coming closer, closing the door behind him. She couldn’t help but notice his muscled chest and the towel wrapped around his waist.
“Hey, love”, he said quietly, tilting his head at her worried face.
She continued staring at him, feeling how something rose inside her. It was then that the first tear rolled down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away and turned towards a sink, letting water run over her shaking hands before she splashed it into her face, bending over the sink. The water deafened her senses for a while, yet when she looked up again, she saw Finn standing right behind her, his face as concerned as she’s never seen him before.
She looked at him in the mirror before she couldn’t help it anymore. The tears came naturally, her sobbing growing so heavy, her knees too weak to carry her anymore. Rory collapsed on the floor, her face in hands, her crying echoing through the bathroom. She felt Finn’s arms around her and how he tried to calm her by whispering to her, even though she couldn’t understand a word. She couldn’t care about anything but the hot tears running down her face, how her throat was blocked by a huge lump, how her head began to spin wildly and –
Suddenly there was a loud noise and the warmth of Finn’s arms was gone. She continued sobbing, unable to see or hear what was going on in the bathroom. Only fragments came to her ears.
“Finn!”
“- not what you think –“
“- hate you –“
“- did nothing –“
“- could you?”
“Logan –“
Pulling her arms around her knees, she leant against the cold wall. Minutes later, the fog behind her eyes lifted and she sobbed for one last time. Lifting her hand to wipe away her tears, she then saw Logan and Finn standing in the doorframe, talking loudly. When she got up slowly, walking to one of the sinks to wash her face, they both turned to her, throwing her worried gazes. Yet it was Logan who addressed her first.
“Ace, you okay?”, he said and walked to her to pull her towards him, embracing her tightly.
“I’m… fine…”, she mumbled, leaning motionless against him, her hands dangling at her sides.
“Finn said you just broke down crying, what’s wrong?”, Logan asked, but Rory just stared past him to meet Finn’s gaze. He was still standing in the door frame, watching them. His forehead was furrowed and he looked rather uneasy. She wondered how he convinced Logan that there was nothing between them when he had found her and Finn in the bathroom. Yet his eyes wouldn’t tell her.
So she looked away again, finally answering Logan’s question.
“I just had so much stress the last days, I’m fine now…”, her voice grew steadier with every word, adding even more to the lie that was growing in her heart. “I’m sorry you had to see me like this.”
“Don’t worry, Ace”, Logan whispered, before he noticed Finn watching them. “What are you waiting for?”
“I wanted to take a shower, if that’s allowed”, he said, his voice a little too serious.
“Sure”, Logan said and let go of Rory. Taking her hand, he led her out of the bathroom. She followed slowly, her steps insecure. When they went past Finn, she looked up to meet his gaze. His expression was unreadable, a fact that made her feel even worse. She looked away quickly, feeling new tears burning inside her eyes. Logan led her back into his room where they lay down on his bed in silence, he pulled the sheets over them and there was no word ever mentioned again about the incident in the bathroom.
Rory felt horrible. Not even embarrassed that Logan had seen her like that, also frightened about what happened between Logan and Finn that made Finn acting like this. She rolled onto her side, facing Logan’s door. This meant another night without sleep.
She lay awake for quite a while, hours passed rather quickly. When it was already getting light again, she looked around at Logan who was snoring lightly, lying on his back. She slipped from the sheets and gathered her things from the ground, before she tiptoed to the door and left. She slipped into her shoes in the common room and pulled over her coat. Opening the door, she left behind the embarrassment and sorrows of last night.
This has been a huge mistake. She knew she wasn’t that kind of girl. This was too much. She had to end it. Forget about both of them. Even though it hurt. Her whole life she has been learning from mistakes. After two miserably ended relationships she should have been smarter. How could she have thought she could be that kind of girl that didn’t care in whose arms she fell asleep? Her mother had all right to be disappointed in her only daughter. She should have known better.
When she reached her dorm, she quietly unlocked the door and slipped in. She slowly walked to her room, opened the door – and almost let out a shriek.
There was someone lying in her bed.
She quickly closed the door to not wake Paris. Just standing by the door, she stared at her bed, before she switched on the light. There was a deep groan as soon as the room was illuminated. She crossed her arms over her chest and watched how a messy dark haired head emerged from her pillows, sleepy eyes blinking at her.
“What are you doing here?”, she asked, her voice barely audible. She didn’t know whether to be shocked or happy, yet she tended to choose the first one for she had been sure that she wanted to forget about all of this. But when she looked into his eyes, she wasn’t sure anymore.
He sat up on her bed, his chest bare and apparently he was just wearing boxers.
“Finn, I don’t know what to think”, she muttered, still standing at the door. “Back there, you seemed to ignore me and now you’re lying in my bed – hang on, how did you come into my bed?”
“I lay down, love”, he said, tilting his head.
She continued to stare at him.
“Paris let me in.”
“What??”, she blurted out, gaping at him. “What did you tell her?”
“I told her it was a surprise and I kept bugging her until she let me in.”
Rory eyed him suspiciously.
“I promised, I haven’t told her anything!”
“But it’s Paris we’re talking about. She’ll know!”
She felt the lump inside her throat growing again. Leaning against the door, she buried her face in her hands, once again overwhelmed by self-pity, sorrow, guilt and the heaviness of this new situation.
“Oh love”, she heard Finn whisper when he got off the bed and walked over to her, pulling her into a tight embrace. She leant her head against his bare chest, feeling his warm skin, wrapping her arms around him, just wanting him to hold her.
“I can’t do this, Finn”, she muttered against his chest but he just shook his head, kissed her hair and held her even closer.
They seemed to stand like that for a very long time, before Finn finally let go of her. She looked up at him, her blue eyes clouded by tears. He raised a hand and cupped her face, wiping the tears away with his thumb. That was the moment she finally made her choice. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.
“This was a terrible night”, she then broke the silence.
“Indeed”, he nodded, leading her to the bed and taking off her coat.
They sat down next to each other, Finn’s arm around her waist, Rory’s fingers hooked into his.
“I just want to forget about it”, Rory went on.
“What else do you want, love?”
She turned her head to look directly into his eyes, suddenly noticing how blue his eyes were. She never knew he had blue eyes - for the most time she had seen him was during parties and other night time encounters. She got lost inside the grey mixing with the blue, both keeping her rather hypnotised.
Without really knowing about it, three words slipped her mouth.
“I want you.”

...to be continued...