Letters to you (JJ)
#21

hi guys!

so, here comes the next part.... hope you gonna like it. Have fun...

Chapter 3: Silent night, lonely night


An empty room can be so deafening. The silence makes you wanna scream. It drives you crazy.
I chased away the shadows of your name and burned the picture in a frame.
But it couldn’t save me.

Luke stood in his bedroom, looking around. He had gotten rid of everything that reminded him of her. Now he stood in a practical empty room. It was when he realized that he couldn’t stay here, live here, without her. The silence around him screamed her name. It was better with Rory staying with him but she had to get back to Yale, and Luke knew that after almost three months without a word, without a letter, just without any sign at all, he had to move on. He hadn’t imagined it to be so hard. The day before, he had worked for the first time. Although the townspeople were really happy about the re-opening of Luke’s, they shot him contemptuous looks all the time. He wasn’t able to stand it long and left Lane in charge to go home.
But he didn’t find peace there, either. Everything reminded him of Lorelai. So he began to put all her belongings into boxes. And now he was standing there, feeling just as empty as the room was.

He was exhausted. He hadn’t slept that night. But, in fact, he was glad about that. Every night, in every dream, he saw Lorelai standing by the front-door, smiling and saying that she was just joking to leave like that. And every night Luke woke up, his PJs soaked and wet, with a feeling in his gut that life would never be like it had been, that she would never come back.
Slowly, he went to the cupboard, opened the top drawer and picked up the pieces of Lorelai’s letter. He didn’t know how often he had already read it. Searching for something, for a sign. But all over again, he found himself disappointed. There was nothing. But still – he just couldn’t throw it into a box like the all the other things. It was his lifeline. The only sign that she was alive. It was a weak link, Luke knew that, but it was a link...

The doorbell diverted his thoughts. Actually, Luke wasn’t in a mood to invite somebody into his house, or even into his life but nevertheless, he went downstairs and opened the door.
"Merry Christmas, Luke!"
Luke was astonished. In front of him stood a bunch of people, including Rory, Mia, Patty, Babette, Morey, Kirk – even Taylor was there. But the greatest surprise of all was his nephew, Jess. He hadn’t seen him since his and Lorelai’s wedding. But Luke was very proud of him. He always had been thinking that Jess would never achieve anything in life but he had proved him wrong. He was now a well-known author of short stories. Even Luke had read every single one of them.
Now, Jess came to approach to him, gave him a long hug and whispered,
"I’m sorry... and merry Christmas, uncle Luke."
"Ah, you know, I hate that uncle stuff."
"Yes, I know. That’s the fun", Jess answered and grinned imperceptible.
It weighed hard upon him, seeing his uncle like that and he really felt sorry for him and Rory. He hadn’t always been best friends with Lorelai but she meant so much to both of them. And Jess cared about them, so Lorelai was important to him, too.

"What are you doing here, folks?", Luke finally asked confused.
"Well, Luke", Taylor began, "It’s Christmas. And nobody should be alone on Christmas."
"Christmas?", Luke thought, "I have totally forgotten about it."
"But...", he began but Patty cut him off.
"Didn’t you hear, Luke? Nobody. And especially not you, loner!"
With those words, she shuffled Luke aside and went into the house, closely followed by the rest of the gang.
Only Rory stayed outside, hugged him and gave him a present, wicked in a Hello-Kitty paper.

"Merry Christmas, Dad."
Luke looked up. Rory had never called him Dad before. Although he felt like her father, it kind of surprised him and for the first time in three months something similar to a smile appeared on his face. But then his thoughts reached Lorelai again and tears were rising into his eyes like many times before but he tried to hide them from her, so he once again hugged her and said,
"Thanks. And sorry. I don’t have a present for you. I totally forgot about that whole Christmas thing."
"It’s okay. Just promise me not to leave me, too."
"Okay, I promise."
Luke embraced her even tighter, then said,
"Come on, let’s go inside to join the others."
All in all, they day went pretty well. They people really tried to cheer Luke up and indeed, Luke, who normally hated these kinds of events, forgot about the hole inside his heart for a few hours.
Late afternoon arrived and Rory, Jess and Luke were the only ones left. They sat in silence around the kitchen table. Each of them deep in thoughts, not knowing really about what things to talk.
Luke and Jess never had been Oprah like talkers but even Rory was striking silent over the day. Finally, she opened her mouth and stated,
"You haven’t opened your gift, yet."
She stood up, fetched it and once again handed it to Luke.
"Thanks, kiddo."
Slowly, he unwrapped the paper and a small book was falling out of it. It was a photo collector. Luke opened it and looked at the pictures. Rory had made some kind of a biography of him. Pictures when he was a little kid, pictures of him in high-school, his graduation...
As he reached the last pages, his heart became heavier. Following a photo of him and Jess was a picture of Liz’ wedding. Him and Lorelai dancing. A picture of their wedding...
Luke reached the end of the book. Rory had left him a note on the last page.
Just never lose faith...
Luke looked up. Again, his eyes became dewy.
"Thank you, Rory."
Then, he stood up and said,
"Are you mad, if I leave you for a few minutes? I need some alone time."
"No, course not", Jess answered politely and looked closely at him.
Luke got dressed into his jacket and went outside. Standing on the patio, he first breathed deeply and stretched. Then, a van caught his eyes. It came driving towards his house. Looking closer, Luke recognized the company. It was UPS.
The driver stopped, got out of his van and approached to Luke.
"Merry Christmas", he said a little bit grumpy, obviously angry about working on an holiday.
"You Luke Danes?"
Luke nodded, "Yes, I am."
"Alright, I have an urgent letter for you."
With those words, he handed Luke the letter, tipped shortly on his UPS cap, got back to his car and drove away.
Stupefied, Luke watched the van disappearing out of sight and then focused on the piece of paper he was holding in his hands.

[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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