[Cedric]

Alrighty,
here's the new part...
Danke an Ramona and Jule. I hope you keep on reading


Chapter Thirteen: Seattle Rain


[FONT=&quot]I try to see the good in life, but good things in life are hard to find. I’m wasting too much time being strong, holding on. Can’t let it bring us down.[/FONT]


[FONT=&quot]“It isn’t mine?” Luke silently said, slowly sitting down on a chair beside Lorelai’s bed. [/FONT] [FONT=&quot]
His heart began to beat faster but strangely out of shape. Actually, he felt like he himself stood beside his own body. But then he focused back to Lorelai, to be more exact, to Lorelai’s eyes. And as he looked into those heavenly blue eyes, he knew what she would answer him. And sure enough, a few moments later, she said,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Of course, it’s yours, Luke. I would never cheat on you, you know that.”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Luke looked at her. What was she talking about? She would never cheat on him?[/FONT] [FONT=&quot]

“But you did,” he said, almost soundless. [/FONT] [FONT=&quot]“No…” she responded, her eyes once again filling with tears. “I didn’t.”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Slowly, Luke shook his head. He had to search for the right words but then he realized there were none.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]“You did,” he said so calm that Lorelai lifted her head a little bit.
“You did cheat on me. You cheated on me, as you left that day eight months ago, as you left without leaving a clue behind. You may think that you took nothing with you, except maybe this picture of Rory. But that’s not true. You took everything with you. Every inch of my body was aching since you left. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t think straight. Actually, I wasn’t living without you being there. Every night, I dreamt about your reasons to leave. I imagined that you’ve been kidnapped the first few days until I found your first letter. At least I knew then, that there was no crime. But it didn’t make things easier. In turn, it made it harder. Much harder. It made me rethink all my actions along our way together, you know. What I did wrong, but honestly, I couldn’t think of one single reason. Of course, we had our troubles, but deep inside my heart I always knew that you were the one for me. And even though you always claimed in your letters that you loved me, I wasn’t sure, whether you really did. Why would a person leave like that, if the ones she loves were right in front of her? I couldn’t walk into the DragonFly for over half a year. I just couldn’t stand to see the threshold. Do you remember the threshold, Lorelai? Because if you did, you would understand, why I hadn’t been able to go there. But one day, I managed to enter the inn and what I found made my world spin madly round. I found this picture of our baby. Our baby, Lorelai. Yours and mine. And as I sat there in your office, I was so angry. You and I wanted kids. You remember? And still, there I was sitting, staring at this photograph and couldn’t think of a reason why you had left. I still can’t think of a reason. Deep inside of me, I knew it couldn’t be another men’s child because like you said, you would never cheat on me, at least not in that way. But you cheated on me in any other possible way. You cheated on me, as you left without saying me, why you threw up the day before. You cheated on me because you didn’t tell me you were pregnant. You just didn’t tell me anything. You cheated on me as you wrote that letter to Jess. You wrote him, how sorry you were, how you sometimes just wanted to go back. But why didn’t you write all of this to me? I was the one, or rather one of the two persons, you could trust. I was the one longing for you, thinking about you. Not Jess. I don’t say he doesn’t care about you. I mean that dedication was amazing. But it wasn’t his life you turned upside down, as you first walked into the diner 12 years ago. It wasn’t him, who stood by your side through some hard moments. It wasn’t him, you married. It just wasn’t him. I know that this letter was the missing piece to my puzzle. Without that letter, I would have never been able to find you. But that’s exactly the point… why did you write him? Not me? Aren’t I the one you love, Lorelai?”[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Luke stood up and began to wander around the bald room. He wasn’t able to look at her. He breathed hard, facing the window. The world around mirrored his emotions. The cloud was almost pitch-black. It was raining. Cheerless.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]How long he stood there, looking at the houses of Seattle, he couldn’t tell, but then he felt a hand on his shoulder. He didn’t have to turn around. He knew that it was her hand.

[/FONT] [FONT=&quot]Another moment passed in total silence then that silent, shaky voice of hers said,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Of course, I love you, Luke. All the time I wanted to be found. And not just by anyone. I wanted to be found by you. And look, you did. I thought of every person you would find about that Casablanca thing. Who else would have been able to recognize the name? And every time when I was thinking about you, my heart broke into pieces. I was thinking about what you were doing right at that moment, whether you were thinking about me, whether you still would be in love me. But I also knew you would never forgive me for what I’ve done. It was awful leaving like that, I know that. But I had no other choice, Luke.”

[/FONT] [FONT=&quot]She broke off. Tears were streaming down her face now and her body now was just as shaky as her voice had been. [/FONT] [FONT=&quot]“Luke, you have to understand. I had no other choice. My departure was supposed to make things easier.”[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Luke finally turned around to face her. She could see his eyes shimmer. But as he continued speaking, his voice was surprisingly steady.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“You always have a choice. You always do. What in the world could have been so wrong that you didn’t tell me you were pregnant, what in the world could have been so wrong that you left us behind with nothing but pain?”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“I know everybody always has a choice. But as I left that day, I didn’t see any. Not a tiny little choice. I was desperate, Luke. I still am. You know, I didn’t leave because of the baby. I –“[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Lorelai was interrupted by an opening door. But it was not Rory who entered the room, arriving from the cafeteria, but a nurse. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“What are you still doing here? Visiting hour is long over,” she asked harshly.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Can’t he stay a little longer please? We have so much to talk about,” Lorelai begged.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“No, you need rest you know that, Ms. Lundt.”[/FONT] [FONT=&quot]
“Is there no chance…” Luke put forward but the nurse pointed her finger to the door.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Out.”[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Luke turned around to look at her for the last time. She still didn’t look like herself. But as she noticed Luke looking at her, something similar to a smile appeared on her face. She finally could see him again. She knew he was angry but he hadn’t heard the whole story, yet. She wasn’t sure, whether he would ever forgive her.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]But at least he had found her.[/FONT]