[Cedric]

so, ein neues chap...

noch re-FBs:
@Julie: Thx again. and I won't do what I told you I was thinking about (even more confused now?)...
@Ramona: Thx for reading. Ich hoffe du liest weiter... und es wird einige neue sachen geben in diesem Chap...

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This chapter is for Jule, just to say thank you.

[/SIZE] [FONT=&quot]Chapter 15 The magic moment all over again[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Sometimes you walk by the good ones, ‘cause you’re trying too hard to see them. Sometimes you don’t find the right lines, ‘cause you’re trying too hard to hear them. You want an all time love to find you. But you already found me.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Slowly, Lorelai stood up, and ran over Luke’s cheek with her fingers. It hit her like a lightning. She couldn’t believe that she really saw him again, touched him again. And to her great relief, he didn’t back away from her. He obviously still cared about her. And that fact meant the world to Lorelai. Maybe he would actually forgive her.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Finally, Luke looked up, raised his hand and took Lorelai’s. For the first time in months, he was able to be alone with her, talk to her, let alone see her. But he wasn’t feeling happy at all. He was horrified that Lorelai had cancer, he was terrified what would happen next. He even was afraid of the baby. Would they be able to care about it, with all the troubles on their minds? Luke stopped thinking. He just realized something. He always had been thinking about that them, without knowing whether were was a them.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]For the first time, he looked into her eyes. Besides everything that had changed, they still were the same. Blue, bright, shiny. They still had the ability to make him amazed and he could feel in his guts that they were telling him I love you.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]“Lorelai… why… I mean… you could have told me… you should have told me… That’s what I’m here for, you know. That’s what husbands do. Be there for their wives. But you didn’t even give me the chance to be there for you. You just… didn’t,” Luke broke off, incapable of speaking further. He just couldn’t understand it.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]“Luke, I can’t tell you how sorry I am. All the time I just could think of you. And every day I thought about going back, but at the same time, I knew you would never forgive me. I mean, I don’t even forgive myself for leaving you. But, Luke, you have to understand…” Now Lorelai’s eyes, too, filled with tears. Luke still felt unable to move an inch. He almost held his breath, until Lorelai continued speaking.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“I actually went home one night. I already had entered our bedroom. But as I saw you sleeping there, my heart broke into pieces. I couldn’t wake you. I wanted to… but I didn’t… so I turned around and left again.”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Wait,” Luke interrupted her, “You’ve been there? When… I mean…”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]He broke off. A dream came back to his mind. The dream that made him wake up. The smell of her perfume…[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
“It was in April, right?”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Lorelai subtly nodded. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Oh, my god. You’ve been there? I didn’t realize. I thought it was just a silly dream. I’m so stupid.”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“No, Luke, you’re not. I’m the stupid one here. I should have, I should have…”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
Lorelai now, completely burst into tears. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Finally Luke found himself able to move. He reached out his arm and gave her a hug. He felt her hands gripping his back hard. He could smell her hair. It was the most wonderful scent he ever smelled. He couldn’t tell how long they had been sitting there, just feeling each other, feeling their warmth, feeling their love. It was like nothing ever happened. It was like they were standing in the threshold again, sharing their first kiss. It was like that magic moment all over again.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Finally, Lorelai let go off him, wiped away her tears, took a deep breath and said,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“I don’t know what to say, Luke. Except that I am so sorry. I can’t say how sorry I am. I’d understand if you never forgive me. I’d understand if you just leave. I would. Really.”[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Luke subtly shook his head. As he looked at her at that moment, he just felt her love. And he felt his all time love towards her.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Slowly and very silent, he said,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Just tell me one thing, Lorelai. Why didn’t you tell me? You knew I’d be there for you. You could have told me.”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“I know…” Lorelai started, barely hearable. “I know that you would always be there. But I couldn’t let you make the choice. I freaked, I didn’t know how to tell you. It was either me or the baby. I couldn’t stand it to take away your dreams. You always wanted a kid, and if I did the chemotherapy, there wouldn’t be one. But if I didn’t do it, there would be no me anymore… Either way, I would have disappointed you. So I just took off to make things easier. For me… and for you.” [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Luke gulped. All this time, he had been angry at her. Angry at her because she left, because she never gave him a chance. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]But now he was sitting there, realizing that she did everything just for him. It was just Lorelai. His Lorelai, who always had been the one, thinking that it was all her fault. Inside of him rose a strange feeling. First he couldn’t identify what it was but then he suddenly knew it. He was able to understand. For the first time in eight months, he was able to understand her. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]And he was able to forgive her.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]He cleared his throat,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Lorelai, you didn’t disappoint me. It’s not your fault you have cancer. It’s nobody’s fault. You’re sick and this has nothing to do with our relationship… I’ll be there for you.”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]He could feel tears streaming down his cheeks, but he didn’t care. He was just so happy to see her, to feel her and to understand her. He was just happy.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Lorelai looked up. A glimmer of hope was mirrored on her face. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Does this mean you forgive me, Luke?” she almost whispered.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Yes Lorelai, I do,” Luke nodded.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]A smile appeared on Lorelai’s face, although she was still crying terribly.
“I can’t tell you how happy I am now. I… I… I love you.”
“Oh, you have no idea…” Luke said before he leant forward to give her another hug.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“It’s not gonna be easy…” she said, when they finally broke apart.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“I know that, Lorelai,” Luke answered softly. “But we are gonna make it through. Believe me. We’ll make it through.”[/FONT]