09.10.2009, 17:04
Hey hey!
Entschuldigung, dass es sooo lange gedauert hat, bis ein neues Kapitel kommt... ich hoffe, dass ihr - Nathalie and LillyKilly - weiterlest und dass vielleicht auch noch ein paar andere ;-)
FB wie immer sehr erwuenscht ;-)
[FONT="]Two: Would you know my name?[/FONT]
[FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="]Looking back on the next few days, Lance couldnât really recall all the occurrences. He vaguely remembered flying back home, still feeling numb, still being unable to feel properly. He still hadnât realized that Knox was really gone. Everything seemed just so normal. As he got home, his room was still the same, as he switched on his notebook and MSN popped up, Knoxâ name was still online. It gave him a jolt. Then he remembered, Knox never shut down his computer, he hadnât probably done it before he left that faithful Thursday just to drive around a little. Reading his name now, he suddenly felt like his body was ripped apart. How would he survive without the senseless talks, without his comforting words? Knox had always been the one who helped whenever times had been rough. But now at the toughest of all times, he literally had no one. Sure, his parents and his two brothers were there, but it was not the same.
[/FONT]
[FONT="] The funeral was the worst part of it all. Knoxâ mother had asked him to say a few words about her son but he declined, only the notion of having to say something there was unbearable. Knoxâ little sister, Molly, who wasnât that little anymore â almost eighteen, just two years younger than himself â took his part. Her words freaked him out the most. She didnât say much, just that she had lost one of the three most important people in her life and that she would never forget her big brother and all the joy, the fun and the frustration he had given to her. Lance was feeling pretty much the same. Knox had been like his brother for most of his life. The linchpin in the twenty years he was alive. As Molly had ended her little speech, she caught his eyes. Once again, a cold hand had reached into his body as he noticed that her eyes had the same shade of green as her brotherâs used to have. That kind of green, Lance always imagined Harry Potter to have. He gave her the first smile since his mom had called him. He was feeling for her, it was probably even worse for her than for him, even though he couldnât imagine how that could be even possible.
[/FONT]
[FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="]He stayed in Dallas for two more days but it still was all unreal. His mom, his stepfather and his two brothers didnât really know what to say to him. They threw him sad looks all the time, even the youngest brother, Jamie, who was only five, behaved kind of weird around him. Lance was sure that he didnât know what was going on exactly, but he knew that something was seriously wrong. The worst part was as he overheard him asking his mother why Knox wouldnât come round, when Lance was there. Lance wished he would have gone away after hearing that but instead he just stood there, hidden behind a door to listen to his momâs answer.
âHeâs not coming here anymore, honey,â she said. âGod wanted him to be by his side all the time. Heâs in heaven, looking down to all of us, taking care that we are safe.â[/FONT]
[FONT="] While for Jamie that answer was enough, Lance was unable to move. His mom had never been religious, she was an atheist through and through and never told her children to believe in god or any other higher spiritual beings. But right now at this moment, Lance wished her to be, wished her to actually believe in what she had just said. For heavenâs sake, he wished that he would believe it. He felt childish, but that was all he could think about, that Knox was still around somewhere.
[/FONT]
[FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="] He was kind of relieved as he boarded the plane back to San Diego, California. He thought it would be easier there, with things to do, like studying for college or just going out with his few and he had to admit, superficial, friends he had met there. But he was wrong. As he came to his apartment it was obvious that Levi had been out the whole time, probably at his girlfriendâs, because the room looked exactly like Lance had left it the week before. Exhausted, he sank down on his bed. He wanted to cry or to shout or just anything. But he couldnât. Finally, he picked up his guitar, which he hadnât used in months, and started to play. First it were only a few chords, simple melodies, he had been playing years ago, but then, he remembered the chords to Eric Claptonâs Tears in Heaven. Ironically enough, that song had always been Knoxâ favorite, despite his preference of Heavy Metal. Lance guessed it was because of his father, who had died when Knox was only four years old. As he played, he started to sing along, first very quiet but with time he got louder and louder. He didnât care if the neighbors would complain or if he was singing out of key. All that mattered was that he had something to do, something to fall into, something to forget all the other things. [/FONT]
Entschuldigung, dass es sooo lange gedauert hat, bis ein neues Kapitel kommt... ich hoffe, dass ihr - Nathalie and LillyKilly - weiterlest und dass vielleicht auch noch ein paar andere ;-)
FB wie immer sehr erwuenscht ;-)
[FONT="]Two: Would you know my name?[/FONT]
[FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="]Looking back on the next few days, Lance couldnât really recall all the occurrences. He vaguely remembered flying back home, still feeling numb, still being unable to feel properly. He still hadnât realized that Knox was really gone. Everything seemed just so normal. As he got home, his room was still the same, as he switched on his notebook and MSN popped up, Knoxâ name was still online. It gave him a jolt. Then he remembered, Knox never shut down his computer, he hadnât probably done it before he left that faithful Thursday just to drive around a little. Reading his name now, he suddenly felt like his body was ripped apart. How would he survive without the senseless talks, without his comforting words? Knox had always been the one who helped whenever times had been rough. But now at the toughest of all times, he literally had no one. Sure, his parents and his two brothers were there, but it was not the same.
[/FONT]
[FONT="] The funeral was the worst part of it all. Knoxâ mother had asked him to say a few words about her son but he declined, only the notion of having to say something there was unbearable. Knoxâ little sister, Molly, who wasnât that little anymore â almost eighteen, just two years younger than himself â took his part. Her words freaked him out the most. She didnât say much, just that she had lost one of the three most important people in her life and that she would never forget her big brother and all the joy, the fun and the frustration he had given to her. Lance was feeling pretty much the same. Knox had been like his brother for most of his life. The linchpin in the twenty years he was alive. As Molly had ended her little speech, she caught his eyes. Once again, a cold hand had reached into his body as he noticed that her eyes had the same shade of green as her brotherâs used to have. That kind of green, Lance always imagined Harry Potter to have. He gave her the first smile since his mom had called him. He was feeling for her, it was probably even worse for her than for him, even though he couldnât imagine how that could be even possible.
[/FONT]
[FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="]He stayed in Dallas for two more days but it still was all unreal. His mom, his stepfather and his two brothers didnât really know what to say to him. They threw him sad looks all the time, even the youngest brother, Jamie, who was only five, behaved kind of weird around him. Lance was sure that he didnât know what was going on exactly, but he knew that something was seriously wrong. The worst part was as he overheard him asking his mother why Knox wouldnât come round, when Lance was there. Lance wished he would have gone away after hearing that but instead he just stood there, hidden behind a door to listen to his momâs answer.
âHeâs not coming here anymore, honey,â she said. âGod wanted him to be by his side all the time. Heâs in heaven, looking down to all of us, taking care that we are safe.â[/FONT]
[FONT="] While for Jamie that answer was enough, Lance was unable to move. His mom had never been religious, she was an atheist through and through and never told her children to believe in god or any other higher spiritual beings. But right now at this moment, Lance wished her to be, wished her to actually believe in what she had just said. For heavenâs sake, he wished that he would believe it. He felt childish, but that was all he could think about, that Knox was still around somewhere.
[/FONT]
[FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="] He was kind of relieved as he boarded the plane back to San Diego, California. He thought it would be easier there, with things to do, like studying for college or just going out with his few and he had to admit, superficial, friends he had met there. But he was wrong. As he came to his apartment it was obvious that Levi had been out the whole time, probably at his girlfriendâs, because the room looked exactly like Lance had left it the week before. Exhausted, he sank down on his bed. He wanted to cry or to shout or just anything. But he couldnât. Finally, he picked up his guitar, which he hadnât used in months, and started to play. First it were only a few chords, simple melodies, he had been playing years ago, but then, he remembered the chords to Eric Claptonâs Tears in Heaven. Ironically enough, that song had always been Knoxâ favorite, despite his preference of Heavy Metal. Lance guessed it was because of his father, who had died when Knox was only four years old. As he played, he started to sing along, first very quiet but with time he got louder and louder. He didnât care if the neighbors would complain or if he was singing out of key. All that mattered was that he had something to do, something to fall into, something to forget all the other things. [/FONT]
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