[medea]

Episoden-Titel: 'Everything is Bellmore'

(a stripper in an angels-costume is on stage)
MAN in the audience: One less angel in heaven, baby!

Das war doch auch der große Hit von Shy Baldwin! Gibt es das Lied tatsächlich?
Hm nein, sieht nicht so aus. Hier ein Artikel dazu:
https://www.indiewire.com/2020/06/the-ma...202235610/

WOMAN: Trixie's down!
MAN: Trixie, you okay?
MIDGE: That was the sweet, saintly Philomena. Heavenly, wouldn't you say?
TRIXIE: Motherfuck, my fucking head!
MIDGE: And that was Philomena's foulmouthed friend, Philadelphia.

MIDGE: Uh, but hold on to your Great Gatsbys, guys, 'cause here comes our salute to the Roaring '20s.

BOISE: Look, as long as some girl's out there shaking her chichis, those guys don't care how the fսck they're dressed.
MIDGE: I disagree. With Sapphira the Harem Girl, they're anticipating sultry, mysterious chichis, not the bippity-boppity chichis of the Roaring '20s girl.

MIDGE: Hi. I'm Midge. Mrs. Maisel. I'm the new MC here at the Wolf, so any of you want to add a dash of humor to your routines, consider me your comedy consultant.

MIDGE: Who's next?
BOISE: Annie Oakley.

MIDGE: There's so many convenient sizes, so many vivid colors. And you are going to want it all. This is the Wonderlier.
(...)
ROSE: You'd have less need for Tupperware if you weren't just cooking for one.

ZELDA: Where's the freezer?
MIDGE: Up there.
ZELDA: What is this place, the gulag?

MIDGE: We're talking about the bar mitzvah boy? Akiva?
ROSE: Mm-hmm. Moishe was asked to do an aliyah at his service, and he swears he's never met him.

MOISHE: You couldn't sing or act or dance.
ROSE: Please, people. She's no Judy Garland, but she gave it her best shot.

ROSE: What's Joel's type? I know Miriam was his type, but what else?
(…)
SHIRLEY: He likes an athletic girl.
ROSE: Oh, athletic girl. That's interesting.
(…)
SHIRLEY: Stickball player.
ROSE: Stickball? Oh, I'm gonna write that down. An athletic, stickball-playing type?

(The Gordon Ford show is on TV)
GORDON: No, seriously, you look the same as you did in the pictures I grew up on a long time ago. How do you do it?
GROUCHO: Spending my golden years with the wife.
GORDON: How long you two been married?
GROUCHO: Oh, I wasn't talking about my wife. ( laughter )
SUSIE: Both of Groucho's parents are dead.

GORDON: Who got you hooked on cigars, Groucho?
GROUCHO: Well, who else? Chico.
GORDON: Chico smokes cigars?
GROUCHO: There's not a lot Chico doesn't do except read.
GORDON: He's a pretty big gambler, your brother.
GROUCHO: If you enjoy understatements.
GORDON: Any idea how much he's lost?
GROUCHO: Chico always says if you add up all the money Harpo has, that's how much I've lost.

MIDGE: Ethan Ramone Maisel, move your tuchus. I mean it. We cannot be late.

SUSIE (looking at her plate): I got a blintz.

ROSE: I need to use the restroom. Susie? Tinkle time.
SUSIE: I already went.

SUSIE: You're a matchmaker, huh?
ROSE: That's right.
SUSIE: You really think there's someone out there for that gorgon that just left?

SHIRLEY: I remember a couple of summers ago, it was the cutest thing. Buzz came up to me and said... Kitty Carlisle Hart!
ABE: Who?
ROSE: What's that?
SHIRLEY: It's Kitty Carlisle Hart! From To Tell The Truth. Oh, it's my favorite game show!

MIDGE: Imade two rounds of the place. No sign of Susie.
JOEL: Good. Three songs in, she pulled out a bag of Cheetos and told everyone who shushed her they'll be dead someday. It's good she's gone.

PAULY: How about our boy, huh? He had such big dreams, but who knows from dreams.
ABE: "A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight." Oscar Wilde.

SHIRLEY: That Kitty Carlisle Hart, she's like Houdini! I cornered her in a stall in the bathroom. But when I kicked the door open, she wasn't there. But I got her shoe. Everyone look for a limper.

ABE: I knew you when you were a pisher. The kid who fell into the lake on day one, holding a live mic.
BUZZ: I like making a big entrance.

SUSIE: Jackie was in the Army?
JJ: Don't know.
SUSIE: A Bronze Star?
JJ: Some kind of medal.

RICCI: I've known Jackie since he was a little boy, and, well, I would be lying if I said we didn't find a need to keep a tight lock on the altar wine. ( Susie chuckles ) Many a morning, we found that the blood of Christ had been replaced with Dr Pepper.

SUSIE, He collected Bazooka Joe comics. He kept the little ticket stubs to the opera. He had a baseball signed by Babe Ruth.
(…)
He... Oh, he won a Lindy contest. I didn't know Jackie could dance.

LENNY: I got a story for you. Back in high school... Mepham High in Bellmore, out on Long Island... I took a speech class.
(...)
LENNY: And it's like that every ten seconds for the rest of my speech. Something coming at my head. Erasers, chalk, crumpled paper, a half-eaten apple. But I soldier on and get through the five minutes. Afterwards, I ask my teacher, "What was that all about?" And she says, "Mr. Schneider." For I was Schneider at the time.. „Mr. Schneider, I was simply training you to block out distractions. It's your job to stay focused despite whatever's coming at you, and you did good." This seemed like bullshit at the time, but it turned out to be a very valuable lesson. It trained me for what I do now. So, tonight, Mrs. Maisel, your version of erasers and chalk and half-eaten apples will be me staying for your gig.
MIDGE: No. This isn't Bellmore.
LENNY: Everything is Bellmore.

MIDGE: These guys are ignoring me and just talking to each other. What are they talking about? Just the stuff you'd expect at a joint like this. I can hear them, so let me recreate the conversation. "You know what I hate worse than being stuck in traffic when you got to piss real bad? The fact that Aristotle relied so much on opinions based on nonscientific reasoning."

MAN: Then leave my wife alone?
JOEL: Oh. Sure. Sorry. And good Shabbas, by the way.

RABBI: We now call to the bimah for the final aliyah...
(…)
Now, before we proceed with Hagbah, please tell everyone here about your Torah portion.

EDIE: Your husband killed his show. Wrote horrible things about it in that farkakte paper of his. It was the boy's life's work.
ABE: The Village Voice is not my paper.
MIDGE: Papa, what did you write?
ABE: I wrote what I saw.
WOMAN: Schmuck.

MIDGE: Now, once and for all, people, I may not be Mary Martin or Jessica Tandy, but I was a decent Clare, and I did not stink up the show. My singing isn't perfect, but in musical theater, character is more important than technique.

PAULY: Abe Weissman, you stood there, sipping champagne, making small talk, quoting Oscar Wilde, hugging Buzz, toasting Buzz, all while holding the knife of Cain behind your back.
(…)
ABE: Well, there's nothing in the Hebrew Bible indicating that Cain killed Abel with a knife. So much for your truth.
PAULY: Yes, there is. The Book of Genesis. Cain killed Abel. And it's implied it was with a knife.

ABE: But there is something you all need to know going forward. You are the frog. I am the scorpion. I sting because it is my nature.

ABE: The FBI hasn't contacted me.
ASHER: They will. Trust me. So kiss your loved ones goodbye and grab your toothbrush, Abe, because you and I are gonna be breaking rocks at Leavenworth.