[Charming_Holly]

I thought I loved you. And I still do but at the same time, I hate you. And I want to have an explanation why you left. Just one single reason. To let me live my life. I would do anything to do that.
Don’t get me wrong now. I love you. I truly do.
But right now I think that it might be not enough to love you. I want to understand you. But I want to be there for you, too.
I’ll be there, when you call. And whenever you fall at my feet, you let your tears rain down on me, whenever I touch your slow turning pain.

:heul: Love and hatred at the same time *outch*

I really, really, liked Luke's letter which actually shows how he feels behind his strong fassade. He has a right to be angry and I think no one could ever understand why Lorelai left him. I don#t have a clue, to be honest :confused: They had everything they always wanted and it should have been the greatest time of their lives but somehow .... well, I don't know. No one does.

Just write another part soon, so I'll understand why she left him.

(she's left, so can I have him now? )

:herz:
Maxi

[momo3069]

Oh!
Ich hab gar nicht gesehen, dass du weiter geschrieben hast, und jetzt waren es gleich zwei Kapitel!
So so schön und sooooooooo traurig! Sie war schwanger!
Aber warum ist sie dann abgehauen und will sie das Kind nicht? Oder warum ist sie allein? Lebt das Kind noch? Hat sie irgendetwas dummes gemacht?
So viele Fragen. Hoffe du hast bald ein paar Antworten für mich! LG

[Cedric]

okay, guys. here comes a new part... again^^

first reFBs:

@my fiancée:
danke fuer dein FB... du musst noch eine weihle warten, bis du die fragen beantworten kannst.... stay tuned

@Maxi:
You want Luke? mhm.... soll ich dich in die FF hinein schreiben? Dann will ich aber der new boyfriend von Lorelai sein^^ keep on reading^^

@Momo:
okay, danke auch dir!!! du musst dich auch gedulden^^ thx for reading.


okay, der naechste teil, ist etwas seltsam, finde ich, es passiert nicht so fiel....


The part is for Tina because I want you to read my FF again (I know, du warst nicht on, but nevertheless...) and because your last FB on YHMFH was pretty amazing. :knuddel:





08 The one my heart and soul confided in



I miss the colors that you brought into my life. Your golden smile, those blue eyes.
I miss your gentle voice in lonely times like now, saying it'll be alright.



It was a silent, cold and lonely April afternoon. Not one customer was in the diner, so Luke decided to organize the bills. He should have done that ages ago, but he hated this kind of work, so he had kept on putting it off. But now he really had to do it, otherwise it would be just like Lorelai’s typical messes. After about 30 minutes, the door to the diner suddenly opened and there stood – Lorelai.
Luke blinked. But still, she was standing there, smiling.
“Hi Luke”, she simply said, sat down and continued “Can I have a cup of coffee, honey?”
Luke continued to stare at her. Was it really true? Was she really sitting right in front of her?
Finally, he found his words and said,
“Where have you been, Lorelai? You know, I missed you.”
“What do you mean? I was at the inn, where else? I told you this morning.” She answered with a weird expression on her face.
“This morning? I haven’t seen you in six months now.”
Lorelai snorted and smiled,
“You’re cute” she said and leaned forward to kiss him.


Luke awoke with a start. His PJs were soaked and his sheets were lying on the floor. He looked around and immediately was disappointed that everything had just been a dream. But he had the weird sensation that he still could feel her kiss on his lips. It had felt so real. And Luke even imagined that Lorelai’s favorite perfume was in the air –

“Don’t be stupid, jerk”, he told himself and got up.
He had had many dreams about her since she left, but nothing like this. He really saw her, felt her, touched her, talked to her.
Luke was confused, and desperately tried to shake off his dream.

He walked down into the kitchen and made a cup of coffee. Even though, Luke really hated coffee, he had begun to drink it about three months ago. And with every sip, he felt a little more connected to her. He knew that it was stupid but he thought, wherever she might be, she would drink coffee. She was just too addicted to it to stop drinking it.
The ringing of the telephone diverted his thoughts. Slowly, he stood up, but it was already too late, the answering machine sprang to life.

“Hi, this is Lorelai and Luke Danes and sometimes Rory. Well, we’re not here right now, so just leave us a message, or if you are my mother, just drop it. Beep.”
“Hi Lucas, this is Mia calling. I just wanted to tell you that I’m coming to visit tomorrow. And I’d really like to have a cup of tea with you. You think that’s possible? I’ll stay at Sookie’s, if you want to. Alright then, bye… and Lucas, why don’t you change that message? It is just depressing.”

Luke stood immobile in the hallway. Lorelai’s voice still made him sad but he just couldn’t delete it. These were the only words, he had heard from her in six months. Another lifeline…

Luke again tried to block the thoughts about Lorelai out of his mind and decided to get the mail. He stepped into the fresh spring air. He took a deep breath, he could feel the summer coming. Gloomy winter was finally gone. Everything had begun to start a new life, and Luke hoped that he could do that, too. Somewhere in time.
He reached the mailbox, emptied it and sighed, again only bills, bills, bills. But as he reached the last letter, his hands began to shake. It was a letter with a familiar handwriting. Her handwriting. Luke blinked. But it really was there. He immediately searched for the stamp but oddly enough, there was none. Luke was even more confused now. How could a letter be in the mail, without haven’t been sent?
Luke felt incapable to think straight, so he slowly walked back into the house, sat down at the kitchen table and at once ripped the letter open. Again, he took a deep breath and then focused on the writings.


Dear Luke,

How are you?
I don’t know, how things are going with you and Rory, but I really hope, you’re doing good.
I don’t really know, how I should apologize for all the things I have done to you. All those horrible things. I don’t even want to think about them, but nevertheless, I do it all the time. I can’t get my head around the fact that I left without a hint, a trace. But you have to understand, I had my reasons. Good ones. I saw, or rather still see, no way out of this disaster. As I left, I didn’t leave alone…
I took your love with me, I’m sure. I still can feel it here. It’s the only thing that makes me stand up in the morning, the only thing that makes me breathe, the only thing that makes me exist. It’s your love, Luke that keeps me alive.
I know that I can never make it up to you, but I hope that I’ll get through this and if I will, I just hope that you will still be there. Standing by my side.
I’ve heard of love that inside it makes you strong. And I know that in your arms is where I feel I belong. I just hope that you still feel the same way. I doubt that you will ever forgive me but I hope so much that you don’t hate me or even worse that you’re indifferent towards me. This would be the worst thing that could happen to me.
I just want to say that I miss you, Luke. I miss my friend. The one my heart and soul confided in. The one I felt the safest with. The one, who knew just what to say to make me laugh again. The one, who let the light back in. I really miss my friend.
Okay, that’s it, I believe, I’ve never been much of a Jane Austen, so I stop here.
I love you, Luke from the bottom of my heart.

In love,
Lorelai



Luke read the letter four times. He just didn’t want to miss something. He didn’t really know why, but he felt relieved. Relieved that she was alive, relieved that she still loved him. Just relieved that he was able to read something from her again.
Although this letter didn’t contain anything new, it was a way better letter than the last one. She had apologized, she had said that she was sorry, she had claimed that she loved him.
Luke felt that she was getting better, wherever she might be. And so did he. The anger that had chained him since he had found that ultrasonic picture in her bureau slowly began to disappear. His heart felt lighter, it even seemed to be flying. Luke knew that it was stupid but she missed him that was plain to see.


Hundreds of miles away, a woman was sitting in a bed,which wasn't hers, and drank a cup of tea. Just to feel more connected to him. Her him. The him, she’ll probably never be able to see again. Her fingers were running over a marine blue book. Its title wasn’t a coincidence, she was sure about that. She had read it for the fourth time now and still couldn’t believe how it reflected her life. Like he knew how she felt. Like he knew where she was. Just like he knew her.

[jeany_loverin]

@Maxi:
You want Luke? mhm.... soll ich dich in die FF hinein schreiben? Dann will ich aber der new boyfriend von Lorelai sein^^ keep on reading^^

und was ist mit miiiiiiiiir? *schniiiiiiief*

ok zum Kapitel...
Der Brief von Lore war so schön *schnüff*
nur wie kam er in die post ohne Stempel?
Schreibst du etwa nur immer "hundreds of miles away" und dabei is sie in wirklichkeit ganz nah?
maaaan du lässt so viele Fragen offen -.-
aber es ist gut, dass Luke nach dem Brief auch nicht mehr so böse ist!

mach schnell weiter...

hdgdl
youre fiance :herz:
Jule

[Cedric]

und was ist mit miiiiiiiiir? *schniiiiiiief*

I'm sorry, you know you're the only one for me^^ :herz:

[Charming_Holly]

So ein Rumgesülze hier

I miss the colors that you brought into my life. Your golden smile, those blue eyes.
I miss your gentle voice in lonely times like now, saying it'll be alright.

Awwwww, how cute!
Luke, wie er Kaffee trinkt, nur wegen ihr und der Traum Mein Gott, dass der nicht schon längst an einem gebrochenem Herzen gestorben ist ^^ Wirklich schade, dass sie seinen brief nie zu lesen bekommen hat, aber sie hat sich wieder gemeldet und sie liebt ihn und alles :freu:

Dein Cliffhanger war toll ... wie immer Ich würd nur zu gern wissen wo sie ist und welches Buch sie da in der Hand hält ... Vielleicht hat er eines Tages ja mal die Erleuchtung und findet sie!

Please write me into that story so I can mend his broken :herz:

[jeany_loverin]

*reingehüpft komm*

Ceeeeheeeed.....

Ich weiß, dass du hier wieder rumhängst.... wo is das neue kapitel, dass du mir Anfang Juli versprochen hattest?

I'm waiting.... (but I'm really impatient)

:knuddel: Jule

[Cedric]

Mhm... ja, das neue chapter... Like I said before, I'm kinda stuck there. Ich werde aber versuchen weiter zu schreiben, versprochen...
Waehrenddessen kannst du ja vielleicht meine neue FF lesen --> Dead-End Labyrinth ;-)

Ced
Achtung: automatische Beitragszusammenführung!
erm... Jule, you will get a new chapter. maybe not today but tomorrow in any case.

[Cedric]

Okay. Here comes the new part...

Das neue Chapter ist fuer Jule, das impatient girl, und weil ich glaube, dass ohnehin keiner mehr hier weiterliest ;-)

okay, here we go...


09 Lonesome tomorrow comes anyway


You're in my head. You're under my skin. You're everywhere… but here.


[FONT=&quot]One day after, Luke invited Mia and Sookie over for a cup of coffee. It was good to have a distraction and he had to admit that he had missed those conversations with Sookie and especially with Mia. Luke didn’t really know why he always felt calmer anytime Mia was around him. She had an ability to make him forget about any worries he had on his mind. It always had been that way. And even now, in the worst days of his life, she was there for him and Luke didn’t know how he could ever make it up to her. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]After a few insignificant subjects, Mia drew the topic towards Lorelai. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]“Have you heard anything new, lately? Any letters or something?” she asked very carefully.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Luke looked up. He wasn’t so sure whether he should tell them about the letter, about the pregnancy. After a little while, he decided to do it. What was on probation? [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Yeah, actually, I received a letter yesterday. But it contained nothing new. No hints, where she might be.”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Can we see it?” Sookie asked.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Yes, of course.”[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]After he handed them the letter, Sookie and Mia read it silently. Mia was the first one, who looked up again. Luke could see her eyes shimmering.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“That letter is amazing, Luke. I mean, she really loves you.” She said in a cracking tone.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Luke now himself fought hard against his tears.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Yeah, well, why did she leave then?”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Both, Mia and Sookie silently shrugged.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]A few minutes there was silence. All three of them were lost in thoughts.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Suddenly, Mia, who was reading Lorelai’s letter again, looked up and asked,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“What did she mean by As I left, I didn’t leave alone? What’s that supposed to mean?”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Luke again was in a dilemma. He wasn’t sure, whether he wanted to tell them or how they would react. But he remembered, how comforting Mia always had been, so he finally answered,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“I have to tell you something that will probably shock you. But as Lorelai left, she was pregnant. I found an ultrasonic picture of our baby in her bureau at the DragonFly. I didn’t know about it but I’m pretty sure that it wasn’t the reason, why she left.”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Mia and Sookie stared at him. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Pregnant?” Sookie finally found the words.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]This time, it was Luke’s turn to nod silently.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Then there was silence for a long time. Everyone just stared at their hands, carefully avoiding any eye-contact. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“We have to find her.” Mia said suddenly.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Luke looked up and let out a snort.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“You say that like it’s the easiest thing on earth. The Police searches for six months now, Mia. We are searching for her for six months. She’s vanished off the face of the earth.”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Luke said those words very calm but with a determined look on his face. He didn’t want to hear any accusations from Mia that he hadn’t searched for her enough. He did all that was in his hands. But obviously it just wasn’t enough…[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“I’m sorry, Luke. It’s not what I meant… but we have a new guideline now.” She tried to explain.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“What do you mean?” This time it was Sookie talking, obviously not tracking.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Well, we know that she’s pregnant, don’t we? This means she must have seen a doctor at some point.”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Luke and Sookie looked up, Mia was right. Luke cursed himself for not realizing it before. He had wasted too much time already.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]He stood up. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Let’s start it right…” he started but the doorbell interrupted him.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Sighing, he got to the door and opened it. To his surprise, his nephew Jess was standing there. He had a weird impression on his face, which Luke couldn’t classify.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Can I come in?” [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Yeah, sure. Of course.” Luke answered and stepped aside to let him in.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Rory’s coming, too. She should be here any minute.” Jess informed him, while he walked into the kitchen to join Sookie and Mia.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“I’m sorry, Jess, but why exactly are you here? And why is Rory coming?” Luke asked after they sat down.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Wait until Rory is here, okay? I’m not Oprah.” Jess gave back.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Okay” Luke simply answered, looking from Jess to Sookie to Mia. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The two of them looked like he was feeling, confused and curious.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]A few moments passed by without a word. To Luke the minutes lasted hours, many endless hours. Then, finally, they could hear a key turning in the front-door and a few seconds later, Rory stood in front of them, wearing the same weird expression on her face like Jess.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Hey there “, she said with a smile as she recognized Mia, “I didn’t know you were here.”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Oh, I just missed Stars Hollow…” Mia said vaguely, while she hugged her.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Again, there was silence. Finally, Luke cleared his throat.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Well, I really appreciate that you are here. But what’s the reason for this gathering?”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Rory looked up, directly into Jess’ eyes.
“Do you want or…?”
“No, you do it.”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Luke got more and more impatient now. Obviously it was something very important and that could only mean one thing… one name… one person… Lorelai…[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]“Okay”, Rory cleared her throat, “Jess and me could be very wrong, but we think Mom wrote a letter.”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“A letter? To whom?” Luke had sprung up now, looking very exited “When?”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]At first, Rory didn’t speak further, she just patted Luke’s hand and made him sit down again and then answered reluctantly.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Jess received a letter about his latest book, The disappearance of…, have you read it?”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Luke just nodded, he didn’t only read it once. He probably never read a book more often than this one. It was just so true. Like Jess had looked inside his mind, his feelings, her feelings…[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Good, well, like I said, he received a letter. And we – Jess and me – think that it might be from Mom.”[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Luke slowly looked up. Could this be really possible? Though, he had gotten letters himself from her, they never showed her whereabouts. If this letter was really from her… Another thing popped into his mind. Another very important thing… Lorelai’s last letter didn’t have a stamp. ..[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]But he would think about that later. He focused back into the present.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Can I … I mean, do you have it… the letter… here?” he stuttered.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Yeah, of course. Here.” Jess replied and handed him the piece of paper. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Luke unfolded the letter, which wasn’t handwritten and began to read.[/FONT]




[FONT=&quot]
Dear Jess Mariano,[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]First of all, I really want to thank you for latest book, The disappearance of…. I don’t know, why I even write this but your collection of short stories just reflected my whole life. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I’ve hit a rough patch the last few months but your stories helped me to see some things clearer. They showed me that there always are people who care for you even though they might be far away. If you just love someone strong enough, you will survive anything that might come your way. If it’s a disease, an unrequited love or just a little disturbance. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]What I realized, while reading your book is, that you can’t just run away. It always makes things worse. But sometimes, I don’t know, I just want to walk up to one specific person and tell him I love him and then just turn around and leave because there is no chance that he would ever forgive me, ever understand the reasons I left. I sometimes don’t even understand them myself anymore. All I know is that I had to do it to make his life easier, better, without me. [/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]I’m sure, you’re not interested in my story and I don’t await any answer because for me lonesome tomorrow will come anyway. I just wanted to thank you. Thank you for a fantastic book, thank you for reading this letter and a thank you for anything you have done for me…[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Sincerely yours,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]A Mariano-Books-Lover[/FONT]

[jeany_loverin]

a new chapter, a new chapter, a new chapter :freu:
finally... *ced huggels*

Also ich fand das gar nich sucky...
ich fands guuut.

gute idee von Mia mit den ärzten... wenn Lorelai immer noch schwanger ist, muss sie irgendeinen arzt sehen...
und maybe... maybe there is a stamp on Jess' letter this time... pleeeease let there be a stamp...

oh gott... ich bin bei dieser story immer so gespannt wie es weiter geht... und ich will endlich wissen, warum Lorelai abgehauen is *pout*

hdl :knuddel:
Jule