so,ein neuer teil. Ich weiss, schnell, aber ich habe gerade kreativitaet^^
reFBs fuer Jule:
ich hoffe, das ist schnell genug, und es gefaellt mir, das du verwirrt bist
das wird auch nicht besser werden
fuer Maxi:
ja, ich bin wieder da^^ can't say anything concerning your spoiler, I'm sorry... es wuerde zu viel verraten....
okay der naechste part is fuer euch beide!!
07 Fall at your feet
Luke was still sitting in Lorelaiâs old office. But he didnât feel like himself. He was like a stranger, who was standing beside him, wondering how on earth, one man could be so depressed. Like every feeling inside of him had died. Like the feeling of love had disappeared out of his body. Like the word
love didnât even exist anymore. Like in slow motion, he reached out his hand, took a pencil, searched for a paper and began to write.
Lorelai,
I donât know what to say or what to write. I never thought that I could hate something or someoneâ¦
But right now, anger is spreading out in my body and wants to implode. And I would be so happy, if it will. Just to get away from everything⦠away from Stars Hollow, away from my diner, away from all the memories, away from my life, away from you.
You know, I had a lot of theories, why you left. You could have been in love with someone else. You could have been sick of me. You could have wanted to get away, see something else.
But as Iâm sitting here like a jerk in your old office, things become clearer. Things suddenly make sense. You didnât leave because of some stupid reason.
You left because you were pregnant, and that makes even less sense. We talked about children, do you remember? We were lying in my bed, right after you asked me whether I wanted to marry you. I thought, you were asleep, so I talked and talked about having children. But you werenât asleep, you listened to me and you agreed with me. We wanted to have kids, Lorelai. We both wanted some. But maybe I was wrong, maybe you didnât.
But nevertheless, I had the right to know. I had the right to see my kid growing up. For heavenâs sake, I had the right to raise it, to care about it, to love it.
But now Iâm here alone, wondering where you might be. Whether you still carry the child or whether you donât.
It just doesnât make sense, you know. Not in my world. I know we always lived in kind of different worlds, you in the crazy one, me in the normal one. But we made it. We found our world. Our world, where nobody could find us, where nobody could distract us, where nobody interrupted. But you ended this world. You left with the most precious gift of our world.
And you took me with you. Iâm not myself for five months now. I live, I go to work, I sleep but never like I used to. Iâm not laughing anymore, not smiling anymore, not having fun anymore. Not loving anymore. You took my ability to love away.
I thought I loved you. And I still do but at the same time, I hate you. And I want to have an explanation why you left. Just one single reason. To let me live my life. I would do anything to do that.
Donât get me wrong now. I love you. I truly do.
But right now I think that it might be not enough to love you. I want to understand you. But I want to be there for you, too.
Iâll be there, when you call. And whenever you fall at my feet, you let your tears rain down on me, whenever I touch your slow turning pain.
Youâre hiding from me now, thatâs plain to see. Iâm just hoping you wonât hide forever. Thatâs my only wish. The only one. Donât let me down, okay?
Luke
Luke sighed, put down the pencil, put the letter into one of his pockets and stood up. He still was empty inside, but he was feeling better. The anger had disappeared. Concerns replaced it. It just wasnât the Lorelai, he knew, who left because of a baby. Maybe it was some other guyâs kid. But Luke highly doubted that.
He turned the light off, and was about to leave the room, as he saw that picture again. He picked it up and shuffled it into another pocket. Then he left the DragonFly.
A few days had passed since that day and Luke started to feel a little bit better. Kirk had apologized to him, but Luke had the feeling that he wasnât really sorry about his question because all the time Kirkâs mother was standing outside Lukeâs and watched her son closely.
Today was a Friday and Rory would come home for the weekend. Luke usually was very relieved to have his daughter around but this time, he was afraid. He was afraid of telling her. He wasnât even sure, whether he wanted to tell her, to burden her. And to make things worse, they were invited to her grandparents. The only good thing about Lorelaiâs departure was that he didnât have to go to the Friday night dinners anymore. Luke never felt very comfortable around them, even though theyâve always been friendly to him.
Rory arrived late, so Luke didnât have the chance to talk to her before they left to Hartford. Rory immediately sensed that something was wrong with him but she decided to shut up for the moment.
The evening went rather smoothly. Emily and Richard were happy to have Rory around and chatted all the time. Nobody seemed to notice that Luke was more silent than usually. He only half-hearted listened to the conversations around him. They didnât reach him. He was too buried in his thoughtsâ¦
âLuke? Do you listen?â he heard his mother-in-law saying.
âSorry, Emily, I was thinking about something. What did you say?â
âDid you get a letter lately? I mean a letter from Lorelai?â she asked concerned.
Luke looked up. He wasnât sure what to answer. Emily and Richard always had been there for him and Rory but he felt that this wasnât the right time. He didnât process the fact that she was pregnant, yet. He decided to keep it to himself, so he answered,
âNope, no letter.â
As Rory and Luke arrived at home, Rory immediately asked Luke the question, she wanted to ask the whole day.
âLuke, whatâs up with you? Are you okay? Are you sure, there was no letter from Mom?â
âRory, I have something very important to tell you⦠itâs about Lorelai.â
Rory looked closely at her stepdad. He seemed more depressed than ever and his eyes seemed to be dead like he had lost something or someone. Rory immediately became worried, sat down on the couch and said,
âWhat is it?â
"Wow, thatâs really hard. Rory, I went to the DragonFly this week and I found something there.â
He searched his pockets and handed the picture to Rory. Luke couldnât see the expression on her face but her hand had begun shaking. She looked up. She was pale and her eyes were widened.
"Sheâ¦she was pregnant?â she stuttered.
âShe still is. I mean, if she isnâtâ¦â Luke broke off, incapable to say anything more.
They stared at each other, unable to put their feelings into sentences.
Finally, Rory found her words,
âDo you think she left because she was pregnant?"
âWhat do you think? Is this our Lorelai?â Luke asked thoughtfully.
âNoâ, Rory stated, âThatâs not her. She would never do that. But why, then?â
Luke just shrugged.
âIf I only knewâ, Luke thought.