[Curse]

Ich muss mich schon im voraus bei euch entschuldigen. Es tut mir leid für die geschichte. Ich habe sie zu ende gebracht und leide selber unter dem ende.



-Part 3-


She had walked home. Straight to his place. Knowing that no one would disturb her there.
Thunder was rolling over the town, rain coming down.

She felt as if heaven was crying for a lost son.

She went into his bed after she arrived at his place. Lying in his bed. Remembering all the good times that had taken place in here. The silent promises they gave each other.

Worth nothing, not anymore.

She turned on her side and stroked over his pillow once. The place were he used to sleep. Always turned to her. Sometimes gazing at her while she slept.

Watching over her at all times.

She knew they were waiting for her at home. Wanting to comfort her. But she couldn´t face the truth that they embodied, not yet.

Once again she stroked over the pillow, freeing his scent from it. Making it waft around her.
She grabbed it gently, pulling it to her body, hugging it close. Imagining that it was him she was holding. His aftershave she was smelling.

When she looked up she saw faint images of him and her. Smiling at each other, hugging, kissing. And making love. Even quarreling.
Holding on to every little memory she had. Trying to make the faint figure of him become real. Trying to bring him back somehow. Knowing she couldn´t. Knowing full well that it was a lost battle.

The what if´s played through her mind. What if she hadn´t had screamed at him? Or tried to calm down, to understand his reasoning? Or what if she would´ve run after him? Trying to talk it out?

Just a minute longer. Just one minute was all it would have taken. One minute later on the road and he would have found a lumber truck, fallen over. He would have stopped and called an ambulance.

But he had never had that minute. Therefor when the truck swayed he was under it. Trying to break, to somehow flee from his fate.

She never tried to imagine what it must´ve been like for him. Couldn´t bring herself to do it.

A bolt of lightning, followed by an earshattering thunder, brought her out of her reverie.
She bolted upright in bed.

Had she heard right? It had sound like him screaming her name.



She looked around his place. Everything was neat, at its usual place. But he was missing. If she could just hear him one more time, one more utterance, one more laugh. She would give everything.


Suddenly her eyes filled with tears. The first flow of tears since his death. The first time she cried for honest. The first time she let go of her pain wretched screams, full of sadness. Finally the feeling of loss settled. A feeling of truth, anger, remorse. She couldn´t make it out.

With a tear streaked face and emotion filled eyes she looked heavenwards. Sobbing in earnest wishing he would be there. Like he had always been, to comfort her, take her in his arms and sooth her pain.

He was dead.

She clutched his pillow to her chest, remebering him in his coffin. Wearing the blue flannel shirt, still bathed with her scent. His favourite jeans. His cappy turned backwards, like usual.

‘LUKE!’

She screamed his name over and over, like a chant sung to bring someone back.

Lorelai swayed back and forth in his bed. Feeling her heart finally shattering. Into a million pieces.

After awhile she fell back exhausted. Her last strength had gone. The grief was overpowering her and then winning.

Soon all the strain from the last days came over her, numbing her, making her sleepy.
Lorelai lay on his side of the bed, sobbing quietly. She couldn´t comprehend how long she had been at his place.
The last thing she remembered was his voice saying:’ I´m in....I´m all in.’

And then she fell asleep. Alone, cold, shaken to the core.

End (?!?!)