[Cedric]

Okay, hier ist eine neue FanFic von mir. Sie wird wohl eher kurz werden, circa 5-6 Chaps. Ich hoffe, es finden sich ein paar Leser.

Titel: How come the world won't stop turning?
Autor: Cedric
Genre: Dark, Romance
Pairing: JavaJunkie - in seltsamer Weise
Disclaimer: Mir gehoert natuerlich nichts.

How come the world won't stop turning?

Do you know the feeling when you wake up in the middle of the night and you immediately know that something went terribly wrong? Well, if you don’t, you’re one of the luckiest persons in the world. I’m not one of them.



Snowflakes slowly make their way down to earth now. It’s the first snow of the season. And it’s December 24. Christmas eve. A time to be joyful, happy. A time to be around your family and friends.
Still, I’m sitting here alone. Just me on a cold bench, a piece of paper and a pencil in my hands. And you. I’m sitting right across the place, where you are. But still, I’m not able to talk to you. And I never will be again.

Snowflakes slowly begin to make the ink to lose its way. But it’s not important. Not at all. All I can think about is you anyway. You have no clue how many things I wanted to say to you. How important you were for me, how madly I miss you now, how it grows no better, how each day without you is sharper than the day before, how I loved being around you, how I’m struggling to live our dream now.
But I’m just not able to. You’re gone and I’m here, not knowing what I should do. I don’t know anything – nevermore.

Snowflakes now finally cover the ground. It’s getting white around me. I used to love the snow but I don’t anymore. It’s weird how one call can change your life completely. It was 3.24, when my cell rang that night. It took me some time to realize what had made me wake up. As I answered, I heard an unknown voice and I knew immediately that something was seriously wrong. And for sure, there came the words. You had a car crash and now you aren’t with me anymore.
I can’t remember what I’ve done the next two days. It was all unreal. It was like I was looking down at myself but not really being myself. But the worst was yet to come. Your final way. To see all your family-members, all your friends, who are mine, too, was just unbearable. Even your sister was there. I don’t know how long you hadn’t seen her but she was there, crying and caring. I know, she never was there for you, but in the end, she was after all.
I don’t think I talked a word during the whole day. I was just standing there, looking at that grey stone with your name written on it. A special friend finally was able to make me go home.

Since then, all the people I know seem to think that I wanna talk. About you. But all I wanna do is talk to you. But I can’t. I just want to wish you a merry Christmas, but I can’t.
How could it be merry, if you’re not with your family, if you’re just not around. You know, I already had a Christmas present for you. It’s in my jacket. It’s a ticket to your favorite baseball-team. With whom should I go now? What would be the use? I think I just won’t go. That’s all. But there’s no sense in that, either. And no sense in anything. Love, life.
How come the world won’t stop turning, now that you’re gone? It makes no sense, just no sense at all.
I’m off now to find a new sense. I’m pulling in my earphones, switching on my mp3-player and listen to your favorite song. Ironically, it is Tears in Heaven. It always has been, since I can remember.
And now I’m gonna stand up and pray to a god, whom I have tried to kill over the last weeks. How could he let it happen? It is just not fair. But still - where’s the sense in that?
I’m gonna leave the place, where you are lying, behind me. But I’ll never leave you behind. I’m just off thinking about what I’m going to do with myself without you in a world that just won’t stop turning.