Never gonna be able to tell? [complete]
#11

@miniqeen
grinning (to grin) ist grinsen

Jetzt zum feedback

Ok, so viele Bücher/FF/Texte etc. hab ich bis jetzt nicht auf englisch gelsesen, aber ich finde du hast einen echt tollen Schreibstil!
Und wie du die Gefühle von Luke beschrieben hast war eht klasse Top

Und toll, dass Dean dabei ist Wub Das gefällt mir!

Und wie dann Lore noch hinzufügt :

Cedric schrieb:"Alright, honey, have fun!" "But not too much!", she added grinning.

Einfach hundert Prozent Lorelai! :lach:

Und wie Luke dann zu sich selber spricht!
Echt toll, auch wenn ich kein Java Junkie bin!

Textverständnis war sehr gut, hatte keine Probleme!
Länge fänd ich bei ner deutschen FF zu kurz, aber da sie englisch ist, ist das schon ok, weil man dann auch mal überlegen muss (ok, bei dem Teil jetzt nicht)


Also, gefällt mir super und werde dranbleiben!

Do you know the feeling of making someone happy?
How does it feel?
Relieving, good, great, fantastic, wonderful, more than wonderful. Alright.

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#12

Ich schließe mich den anderen an.
Deine FF ist echt klasse geschrieben.
Und es ist L&L, ein Pluspunkt!
Ich freu mich auf den nächsten Teil!
:hi: Domi

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#13

also, ich finde, dass dir der anfang schon serhr gut gelungen ist.
es ist etwas seltsam, dass luke zu lorelai geht um sie um ein gespräch zu bitten
(ich denke, er hätte eher auf den passenden "moment" gewartet),aber es führt an das thema deiner story(wenn ich es richtig verstanden habe)ganz gut heran.

Zitat: "Alright, honey, have fun!" "But not too much!", she added grinning.

lorelai sehr gut getroffen! genau das würde sie in der serie auch sagenBig Grin
total genial

also mal abgesehen davon, dass ich dean nicht leiden kann,
toller teil, weiter so!
wenn es für dich leichter ist, kannst du auch schwierigeres englisch schreiben. ich komme bis jetzt sehr gut zurecht
(gut, ich hab auch schon 5 Jahre Englisch hinter mir)

eine kleinigkeit allerdings noch

Zitat:his brown eyes

sie sind blau!


aber sonst wirklich gut!!
lass uns nicht zu lange warten!
Tina





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[/URL]

I'm feeling lonely but what can you do?
It's only when its dark I'm thinking of you.

(Fallulah)
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#14

Schöner erster Teil. Du hast insgesamt die Situation sehr gut beschrieben. Ich fand es gut, dass Luke sein eigentliches Anliegen dann doch nicht gefragt hat...das wäre ein Bisschen zu schnell gegangen und wäre dann auch ein Bisschen "out of character" gewesen....aber so finde ich Luki zwar nicht 100 Prozent getroffen aber schlecht getroffen war er auch nicht *g* Ich fand es schön ,dass du so ausführlich Lukes Gedanken beschrieben hast... Schade, dass man so wenig über Lorelais Gedanken erfahren hat... aber das kann ja noch kommen.
Ich freu mich auf jeden Fall auf den nächsten Teil.

liebe grüße Jamie



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#15

schön der erste teil
Wie Luke mit ihr redet und versucht ihr seine Gefühle zu offenbaren
toller anfang
Ich werde auf jeden Fall weiterlesen
LG

SOME THINGS WILL NEVER CHANGE

LUKE AND LORELAI 4-EVER
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#16

hey cedric
mir gefiel der erte teil total
wie du die gefühle beschrieben hast von luke fand ich einfach klasse
und wie er so ende sich gedanken macht und so
was ich besonders schön fand, war die szene am anfang und die beschreibung von den augen
ich liebe solche beschreibungen...mache ich bei meinen ff´s auch immer
freu mich schon auf einen neuen teil
mfg lava Cool

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Perfect love is rare indeed - for to be a lover will require that you continually have the subtlety of the very wise, the sensitivity of the artist, the acceptance of the saint. [Leo Buscaglia]
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#17

@ check:
Zitat:@miniqeen grinning (to grin) ist grinsen
Hab ich ir fast gedacht...Wink

Aber trotzdem Danke!!
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#18

Okay, ich versuche es jetzt mal in Deutsch:
Dankeschoen, fuer eure lieben FBs. Ich freue ueber sie. Und ich werde mich bemuehen, schnell eine neue Part zu schreiben.

Danke, auch an Patricia :dance: fuer den great banner!!!!!

[Bild: header4.jpg]


Cedric


Oh, yeah, what I wanted to ask is, what is that: *g* supposed to mean?? Sorry, I don't know that!

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#19

Cedric schrieb:Oh, yeah, what I wanted to ask is, what is that: *g* supposed to mean?? Sorry, I don't know that!
*g* mean grins...grin...laugh

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Perfect love is rare indeed - for to be a lover will require that you continually have the subtlety of the very wise, the sensitivity of the artist, the acceptance of the saint. [Leo Buscaglia]
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#20

I decided to put another part of my FF online! I hope you'll gonna like it!
and thx again to patricia for the banner, the next part is for you:

Part II:


Slowly and calm the snow began to fall. Lorelai looked out the window. "Finally", she said to herself. She sat at the very same table, where Rory left her five hours ago. She hadn’t been able to move. So she just kept on drinking the coffee, her favorite drug in the world, that Cesar, Luke’s help in the diner, was bringing her accordingly. Thinking about the weird incident with Luke, she felt more and more uncomfortable about the talk. Luke didn’t come back. This was most unusual, because he never leaves his diner for more than two hours.
In the park, 2 miles away from Lorelai, Luke remembered the first snow last year. He had a wonderful talk with Lorelai. She explained to him, why the first snow of the season always had something magical for her. At that moment Luke thought, there were feelings on her side, only to discover, that she had a date with her future husband a few hours later. "Okay, it turned out, that she didn’t love him enough to marry him, but this doesn’t mean that she has any feelings for me.", Luke tried to shoot these thoughts out of his mind. He looked around. The snow lay all around him. Suddenly he felt like going back to his beloved little diner. So he stood up and slowly walked back.
In the meantime, Lorelai, too, stood up and slowly stepped out into the freezing winter night. Still deep buried in her thoughts she didn’t realize that she hadn’t even pay for her coffee. But Cesar wasn’t saying everything to her, he just thought, "She’ll come here tomorrow, so there’s no need to worry. Maybe the 15 cups of coffee made her weary."
Lorelai walked straight home, on her way she met her daughter, who was immediately worried, as she looked at her absent mother. "Hello? Mom? I was asking you something!". "Hmh? Sorry, hon, I was thinking about something. What did you say?" Lorelai focused on Rory now. " I asked, what you have been doing all day? Went shopping with Sookie?" Rory said, looking confused at her mom. She never was like that, she always listened to her. The chat between Luke and her mom came back to her mind. "There has to be something wrong!"
"No, Rory, I was just sitting at the diner all day." Lorelai replied, now a little bit more aware what she was saying. "All day? What have you done there?" Rory asked, a little surprised. She knew that her mother was a coffee junkie but not that much of a junkie. "Waiting for Luke of course. What do you think?" Lorelai grinned, as she saw the motionless face of her 17- years old daughter. "No of course not, I was just drinking coffee and chatted with Ms. Patty and Babette, and I just lost a little track of time." Rory, again knew that her mother was lying, and she wondered, if her first sentence had some truth in it.

Luke arrived at the diner. He was freezing. Cesar welcomed him warmly: "Hey, boss, were have you been, my break was two hours ago!" "I’m very sorry, Cesar, you can go home now, I will be done soon. And thanks, buddy!" he added as Cesar walked out of the door. Luke began to count his money. After a few minutes he noticed a paper from Cesar. "Lorelai Gilmore didn’t pay today – just walked out of the diner – she had 15 cups of coffee. I just think she’s gonna pay tomorrow. Cesar." Astonished, Luke read the paper again and again. "15 CUPS of coffee? Is she crazy? Oh, well, yes, she is. But that’s not normal, not even for her." After thinking a little bit further he realized, that Lorelai must have been in the diner the whole day. "Was she waiting for me?" That thought occurred to Luke’s mind. "Don’t be a jerk", he told to himself and went upstairs to bed.
Lorelai was lying in her bed, too. But she couldn’t get her head around Luke and his weird proposal, that he never finished. Lorelai wasn’t even enjoying the first snow this year. After hours of thinking and wondering about Luke, his feelings, her feelings, snow and Luke, she finally fell to sleep.

"Mom!!!", Rory tried to hide Lorelai’s sheet to get her up, "Get up, I’m serious you have to get up, we’re missing our window shopping day!" Lorelai opened her eyes, slowly she began to remember why she was so tired, she hadn’t slept till 5 o’clock. "Coming!" she finally said and got up. As they got dressed, drank a cup of coffee, the two of them made their way into the small town, called Stars Hollow. They loved everything about there, the trees, the streets and even the noisy, curious and sometimes a little weird people of Stars Hollow. "Mom?", Rory asked her mother, "Can we go to Luke’s? Today’s Danish day!" Lorelai looked like she would say no, but then she thought: "I can’t let her know....". So she said, "Sure, why shouldn’t we?". "Alright, then it’s planned", Rory said enthusiastically.

In the meantime, Luke was busy in his diner. He had given Cesar a day off, because he wanted to bury himself in work to forget about the incident with Lorelai. It worked out fine, until....."Luke!! Don’t say you have no Danish anymore! Mom, I hate you. Why didn’t you get up earlier?" Rory, almost shouted. "Cool down, kiddo, you didn’t even ask Luke whether he has some, or not." Lorelai answered with a smile. "Of course, I have some for you, Rory, I always keep them for you, you know that." Luke said and blushed a little. "You do?" Rory asked surprised. "Well, yeah, for you and your mother only." "That’s very sweet of you," Lorelai whispered, just as loud that only Luke could hear it.
"I’ll go pick up Lane", Rory said and vanished behind the doors. "Alright then, here are your Danish, Lorelai", Luke said and handed the candy to his opposite. As Lorelai took it, their hands touched. Lorelai felt like a lightning had hit her hands. She looked up directly into Luke’s eyes. Again, she saw the familiar blue eyes turn into black. "Lorelai,.....I......", Luke mumbled. But Lorelai turned. "Luke, I have to go." With these words she ran out of the diner. "Wait! You didn’t pay!" Luke shouted, but Lorelai already was out of earshot. "Damn it!" he cursed to himself, "What was that all about? Why can’t I tell her? Stupid Jerk!"
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