[Vevila]

Fandom: Gossip Girl
Titel: Love. Comfort. Safety.
Autor: Vevila
Characters: young!Lily, young!Rufus
Pairing: Rufus/Lily
Spoilers: Just up to 1x06 The Handmaiden's Tale
Rating: K+
Disclaimer: So absolutely not mine.
Summary: What connects love, comfort and safety?
A/N: Yes, I came up with the idea and the title while I was watching Gilmore Girls. / Sorry für das ganze Englisch, aber auf Deutsch wirkt es einfach nicht. Und ich gehe auch gerne das Risiko ein, dass niemand Gossip Girl schaut.

Love. Comfort. Safety.

Love is the collective term for acts of affection, commitment, passion towards another person.
Comfort can be seen as contentment, solace, convenience.
Safety means feeling secure, being certain of something but also to be able to rely on someone.
But what connects the three of them?
It makes people feel better because someone cares about them.


Love

When Rufus Humphrey entered the stage to join his band he didn’t think about the songs they were going to play although one of their songs had something to do with his thoughts. No, he actually thought about that blond girl in the first row. She smiled at him with the most beautiful smile he had ever seen. And she wasn’t just any girl. He liked her. He liked her a lot. And he liked the way she smiled, the way she talked to him, the way she kissed. Especially the way she kissed him. He appreciated every inch of her. Her feet and legs which made her walk like she did. Her arms which made her embrace him like she always did. Her lips which always seemed to need his lips on them. Her hair which tickled him in the face when she lay in his arms. Her body which matched his own like no other.
He took the microphone and welcomed the audience. Then he looked down to her.

“The first song we’re going to play is a song I wrote for someone very special. I guess she has heard the song a thousand times already. She probably doesn’t even like it anymore. And what’s worse, she probably doesn’t like me anymore,” he joked around but his eyes were fixed on her. She laughed together with the whole crowd. She still liked him. No doubt about that. “I still love her though. And that’s why I won’t stop playing this song for her.” You have now idea how much I love you. With that the band started to play ‘Something Like That’ and Lily – that was the girl’s name – had fun taking photos.

After the concert she let herself be pulled backstage. She didn’t let go of his hand. She didn’t let go of him. And behind the stage she was the one who pulled. She pulled him near to kiss him. She loved him.

Comfort

The moment Lily threw herself into his arms he knew something was wrong. She never did that. Not like that. Not as if the end of the world was near and he was the only one who could save them. Seconds later he looked into her face to see that she was crying. He had known this before he had seen it. He knew when something was wrong with her. She didn’t cry if it wasn’t serious. This was serious.

She felt his fingers move over her face tracing her tears and her sobbing became less. And then she felt his lips on hers and she slowly forgot everything around them. He kissed her the way he always did when he wanted to calm her down. Comforting. Loving. Caring. He kissed away her tears until his lips met hers again.

“What happened?” He didn’t need to ask because he knew she would tell him eventually. But this time she shook her head. He raised his eyebrows.

“It’s not important anymore. I’ll tell you later.” A whisper in the dark, a smile that usually brightened everything up. She knew it was like that. He always told her what effect her smile had on him. She was glad that at least for Rufus the world was a little brighter now that she smiled. She widened her smile. You’re the only one who can make me feel better.

In the evening she lay in his arms. She snuggled closer to him. She loved how his arms could comfort her by only holding her. He placed a kiss on her head. She would miss that. She felt horrible. He didn’t know that she was going to leave him tomorrow. But Lily knew. It hurt. But right now everything was okay because he held her and it had a comforting effect on her.
She needed him.

Safety

“Look, leave if you want to. Really. Alison would have a fit if she knew you were accompanying me to this party. Even if it was for your benefit.” Didn’t she want that? Didn’t she want to make Alison furious?

“Actually I don’t care what Alison thinks right now.” That made her hesitate. Since when did Rufus not care about Alison? But to Lily it sounded great. Maybe he cared what she thought.

“Good, then let me introduce you to our hostess.” Right at this moment Eleanor came towards them.

Later she stood aside from the crowd musing about the earlier happenings of this evening. She wondered what Eleanor had thought when she and Rufus had denied that he was her date. He actually was. Why did they behave like teenagers then?

“You’re still spying on him?” Rufus pulled her out of her thoughts and her staring at Bart. Was it a crime now to stare at somebody? She liked Bart.

“I’m not spying. I’m just… keeping track of his whereabouts.” She wished Bart would be paying more attention to her than his date. Hadn’t she made it clear that she wanted him? Rufus kept on ranting about how there was only one thing to make a man jealous. Was it just her who thought this or were men really talking in riddles? As if Rufus could be any help.

“Rufus, I invited you here for many reasons but knowledge of romance is not –” He didn’t even let her finish the sentence and kissed her. Was this some sort of new flirting strategy? Kissing the person you like to make clear that you like her? Maybe she should try this on Bart. Maybe you should stop thinking, idiot!, she scolded herself. Something felt awfully familiar.

Rufus realized he had done the right thing. She would have pulled back otherwise. But now she kissed back. Can’t we just try again?

The evening was slowly coming to an end. Maybe not for them but for him. For Lily it had been a kiss to make Bart jealous. For him although… He found her sitting near the elevator. He began a conversation but when the first word had been spoken he already knew that this wasn’t going to be good. She rattled on about how sorry she was and that she shouldn’t have asked him to come. Why is she sorry? You’re the one who kissed her. And she knows that you know that she’s having a thing for Bart Bass.

“Right. Uhm. And uhm… I’m sorry I kissed you but I did it because that…” And from there he lied. They both knew he did but they also knew it was better to pretend that he didn’t kiss her because he wanted to kiss her.

“And I thought he should know how it feels to lose you.” That was a true thing though. “Cause trust me it’s not fun.” He remembered how Lily had left him a long time ago. And Lily knew what he was talking about. She had never forgiven herself leaving him. After Rufus had stopped talking they both stared at each other in silence. Maybe she should have said something. But the moment was just so… Nostalgic. Right then Bart came towards her. Rufus’ “plan” had worked. And she went with Bart.

And when she looked back Rufus had gone. She felt bad. She had felt so safe when he kissed her and his presence always made her relax. And she realized something.

A long time ago she had fallen for him. Forever.

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