[Lore-01]

Episodentitel:

Always a Godmother, Never a God

LORELAI: No, that only pertains to movie theatres. Crowded ones. If you're watching a Wednesday matinee of "Deuce Bigalow," you can yell "fire" all you want. Hell, you can start a fire, and no one will complain.

LORELAI: Yeah, useless. I'm keeping what I need.
LUKE: (picks up a tape) You need an episode of "Magnum PI", from 1986?
LORELAI: Of course not. That tape is mislabelled. That's "A Knots Landing" from 1981. All the women are held hostage at gunpoint during Ginger's baby shower, classic.
LUKE: (pick up a bunch of tapes tied together) "21 Jump Street", season one. You do not need this.

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LORELAI: No. The DVDs won't have the commercials on them. The original commercials, which is half the fun. Spuds Mackenzie, Clara Peller, "nothing comes between me and my calvins". I mean, they don't make them like that anymore. (walks over to another box)

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LUKE: (reading the label on the tape) "Riding The Bus With My Sister."
LORELAI: Rosie O'Donnell plays a retarded woman who's obsessed with riding the bus, and Andie McDowell is her uptight, big-city sister.
LUKE: Sister?
LORELAI: Yeah, and it gets better. In the ads I saw, the Rosie character was calling herself the sheriff, and she was bragging about her sex life and buying toilet seats. And Angelica Huston directed it. Maerose directed it.

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LORELAI: (picks up a tape) Oh, look at that! "America's Castles", the special Florida edition. Seen it five times, keeping it. (puts the tape in the keepers box)

LORELAI: (picks up another tape) Oh, "The History Of Paper", a documentary by Ted Burns, distant relative of Ken Burns. Oh, seven hours. Dull, dull, dull. Keeping it! (puts it in the keepers box)
LUKE: I'm not going up. (retreats from the staircase)
LORELAI: Good. Oh! "Please Don't Eat The Daisies," seasons two and four. I've been looking for this.