LUKE’S DINER
[Kirk is sitting at one of the tables.]
KIRK: Luke, can I have a word with you?
LUKE: Yes.
KIRK: You overcharged me for the toast. It’s only supposed to be a dollar.
LUKE: I didn’t overcharge you, Kirk. I raised the price of wheat toast. It’s
a dollar ten.
KIRK: You’re kidding.
LUKE: I don’t do toast humor.
KIRK: A dollar ten from a dollar? That’s a ten percent bump.
LUKE: It’s a dime, Kirk.
KIRK: I could refuse to pay.
LUKE: Then I’ll steal your bike.
KIRK: That’s never worked before.
LUKE: I haven’t raised the price of my toast in seven years, Kirk. It’s
still a bargain.
KIRK: I’ll give you a dollar four.
LUKE: No.
KIRK: A dollar five. That’s my last offer.
LUKE: Do I look like E-bay?
*******************************************************
ICH LIEBE ES
Nochmal 5. Staffel:
(Der Morgen nachdem Rory die Yacht gestohlen hat)
LORELAI’S HOUSE – KITCHEN
[Rory comes out of her room.]
LORELAI: Morning!
RORY: God, I feel like I could sleep through the entire day.
LORELAI: Coffee will be ready soon.
RORY: What are you doing?
LORELAI: Well, I’m updating the refrigerator.
[She steps back from the fridge to display Rory’s mug shot attached to the
door.]
RORY: Where did you get that?
LORELAI: Oh, the nice lady at the police station e-mailed it to me. I
thought it would look really nice next to your kindergarten handprint
collage. I got you a copy if you’re thinking Christmas cards.
RORY: Very thoughtful.
LORELAI: You hungry?
RORY: I’m starving. I’ve had nothing but donuts for two days. [Lorelai
brings her some bread and water.] Funny.
LORELAI: Hold on.
[She turns on some music.]
RORY: I’m really glad you’re enjoying this.
LORELAI: Rory, the penal system is not something we enjoy, It’s something
with a name that makes us giggle.
RORY: I assume there’s pop-tarts? [She gets up.]
LORELAI: Now, what’s on the agenda for today? I hear there’s a shipment of
plutonium coming in at the docks, and I thought we could dress up as nuns
and I could distract them with a fake stigmata, you could shove the
plutonium under your habit, and –
RORY: I have to got back to school. I have one last final, plus –
LORELAI: Oh, wait.
[She grabs two telephones and sets them on the table, as if they are
separated by glass. She picks up one of the phones and looks up at Rory.
Rory decides to play along.]
RORY: Plus I have one last load of stuff that I need to pick up and
transport back here. And now I have to hang up. Visiting hours are over.
[They hang up the phones.] Thanks for letting me borrow the Jeep.
LORELAI: Figured if I didn’t give it to you voluntarily you’d just heist it
anyway.
RORY: This bit’s going to last for a while, huh?
Das kommt natürlich noch geiler wenn man es sieht und nicht liest
*******************************************************
Einer noch:
Luke und Lorelai haben ein Date bei Luke zu Hause, TJ kommt vorbei weil er sich mit Liz gestritten hat, Luke kocht
LUKE: Okay. Hold on. [To Lorelai] Go stir the sauce.
LORELAI: Me? But, I can't cook.
LUKE: It's not cooking, it's stirring.
LORELAI: No, I'm not good with big spoons, unless there's ice cream on the
end - okay.
LUKE: TJ, what is this all about?
TJ: She's crazy, man, she goes nuts! And she yells at me like... there's a
register that her voice reaches when she yells that only a freaking dog can
hear, but her face is so twisted and contorted that you know she's hit that
register, and it's amazing! It should be on the Discovery Channel or
something.
LORELAI: Um, excuse me. How fast am I supposed to be stirring here?
LUKE: Just keep it from sticking. [To TJ] I am really sorry you had a fight,
but you're married now. You can't run out every time you have a
disagreement. Now, go on back.
TJ: I can't go back!
LUKE: TJ!
TJ: I'm not ready, it's all too fresh!
LORELAI: It's bubbling and turning brown.
LUKE: It's fine.
LORELAI: Well, what constitutes sticking?
LUKE: You can't ruin it.
LORELAI: I can, I have powers. Once the Barefoot Contessa was making a
soufflé and when it fell, she looked out the TV and said, “Gilmore, was that
you?”
LUKE: You've gotta go, man!
TJ: Just let me hang out here.
LUKE: No!
TJ: Just for a little while! Right in here, in the corner. Very quiet. You
won't notice me at all. Churchmouse, buddy.
[Luke sighs and goes to the kitchen]
LORELAI: I'm getting carpal tunnel syndrome.
*****************************************************
Luke: Get out, Taylor!
Taylor: Why ?
Luke: Just a code I live by