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Normale Version: You had me from 'Hello'
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So guys.
Ich poste jetzt einmal eine neue FF, ich hoffe sie gefällt euch und ihr schreibt FBs!!!


You had me from 'Hello'

part I:



"Oh, come on, Kirk. I can’t give you yet another cup of coffee. You’ve been sitting here for hours. Go home and get a life!"
I really was annoyed. The place was packed, it was a busy day and Kirk just sat at that table for four, ordering coffee after coffee.
The look on Kirk’s face changed into angry. He sprang up.
"Yeah, like you have one!"
With those words, he left my diner.
"Hey, you have to pay, first!", I called after him but it was too late, he was gone.
"Damn it...", I thought.
I went behind my counter but somehow my mood had changed. Something bugged me. I wasn’t quite sure, what it was. I knew that Kirk was angry with me, but he did get a point. Questions occur to me:
"Do I have a life? Am I really happy with this? Should I maybe change something...anything?"
I didn’t know, how long I was standing there, staring at Kirk’s bill but suddenly a voice startled me.
"Hello? D’you hear me? Earth to Mister Backward-Baseballcap?"
I looked up. A young woman stood in front of me. She had brown hair, a little curly. As I looked closer, I had to admit that she was pretty. Very pretty. She was wearing a winter coat, although it wasn’t really cold outside. That circumstance made me a little curious.
Obviously, I wasn’t listening to her, again, because she said:
"You really have a good service here, I have to say. But what do I have to expect from a diner called ‘Luke’s’? Nothing I guess.", she paused, looking at me, then spoke further, "What’s your name? I wanna talk to your boss about your serving manners."
I was confused. I mean, really confused.
"Who was that woman, talking a mile a minute, arguing about my manners?"
Finally I managed to say:
"I’m Luke. Luke Danes."
The woman looked at me. I now noticed her eyes. I’ve never seen such eyes before. They were blue but something was special about them, they seem brighter than usual ones. I don’t know, but they chained me somehow.
"That’s kinda funny", she began slowly, "You’re Luke and you work in ‘Luke’s’. What a coincidence."
Now I was even more confused.
"What is she talking about?", I thought.
"I’m sorry, you screw my head. What exactly do you want from me?", I asked, looking closely at her.
"I wanna talk to your boss. Now.", she stated.
As time went by, I got more and more angry. But I remained calm. I’m not really the kind of guy, who gets aggressive.
So I just answered, "Well, you’re standing right in front of him."
"Aha", now the lady countering me, was the one who looked a little confused, "So, you’re the boss, huh? Well, then you have to be Luke, right?"
I didn’t answer immediately, something about that woman astounded me. I really had to concentrate hard to follow her, I never had heard a person talk so fast, just like life would be too short, to talk slower.
"I already told ya, I’m Luke, do you remember?"
She just nodded.
"So, you’re Luke, huh? So, Luke, would you get me now, what I have ordered before?"
"Well, yes", I answered, "If you only would tell me, what you want, I would be glad to help."
She again looked up at me. Directly at me. Her face had become a little red. I guess it was anger.
"This is ridiculous. You’re kidding, right? I already told you twice but obviously you don’t listen to your costumers."
With those words, she turned and went out the diner.
She left me behind, amazed. I watched her, walking away until she was out of sight. I really was confused. I’ve never met a woman like that before.
But again, she startled me, reentering my diner.
"Okay", she said, "You know I’m very angry right now. But nevertheless, I’ve heard that you have the best coffee in town. And I really need one. So, what I wonder is, could we just start over?"
Again, I was incapable to answer immediately, so I decided just to nod.
"Fine, alright. Could I maybe get a coffee to go, please?", she asked.
"Yeah, sure", I answered, turned around and poured her a cup.
"Here you go."
I gave her the coffee and she was about to reach for her money but I said,
"Keep it. First costumers are on me. Come again."
She looked up, smiling. I sensed a piece of grateful there, but I probably just imagined that.
"Well, thanks then. And I will."
She left. Again I watched her and I wondered, what was it about her, that made me confused, amazed, and I admit, angry at the same time.
Another client diverted my thoughts.
"Can I have a Ceasar’s Salad, please?"
"Yeah, of course, coming right up", I answered and I went back to my usual work routine but not without a risen mood, now. Kirk totally was out of my mind.



love, Ced
platzhalter!!

EDIT: Yay, ich bin Erste! Wie es sich für einen fanatischen Fan gehört. Ich kann nur wiederholen: Ich liebe deinen Stil, deine Ideen, dass du nie OOC schreibst-
Im Einzelnen die Stelle:

meinem Lieblings-Ced schrieb: "Hello? D’you hear me? Earth to Mister Backward-Baseballcap?"

That lorelais!^^

Zitat: "That’s kinda funny", she began slowly, "You’re Luke and you work in ‘Luke’s’. What a coincidence."
Now I was even more confused.
"What is she talking about?", I thought.
->genau der Gedanke, der jedem kommt, der Lorelai das erste mal begegnet Top

Zitat: "Okay", she said, "You know I’m very angry right now. But nevertheless, I’ve heard that you have the best coffee in town. And I really need one. So, what I wonder is, could we just start over?"
Again, I was incapable to answer immediately, so I decided just to nod.
"Fine, alright. Could I maybe get a coffee to go, please?", she asked.
"Yeah, sure", I answered, turned around and poured her a cup.
"Here you go."
I gave her the coffee and she was about to reach for her money but I said,
"Keep it. First costumers are on me. Come again."
She looked up, smiling. I sensed a piece of grateful there, but I probably just imagined that.
"Well, thanks then. And I will."

Genau so ist Lore: Erst ist sie sauer, dass sie keinen Kaffee bekommt, aber sobald sie ihn hat, ist alles vergeben und vergessen :lach:

Also, warum zitiere ich nicht gleich alles- ich fand den Teil großartig!
Tolles Comeback!^^

Ich sage nur: MEHR!!!

Hab dich gaaaanz doll lieb und bin froh, mal wieder was von dir zu lesen/hören!!:knuddel:
Tina
Hi, schön, die erste englische FF die ich gelesen habe. Gefällt mir. Vor allem wegen Kirk. Dass er Kaffee trinkt war lustig. Der muss ja dann voll high gewesen sein *g*.
Freu mich auf mehr, küsschen LionySmile
awwwwww eine neue FF von dir!
Ich freu mich.
ich hab dir ja schon gesagt dass ich deinen Schreibstil wirklich liebe und dass ich finde, dass du verdammtes Talent hast und ich muss sagen, Das hier hat es mal wieder bewiesen.

Dieses erste kapitel war wirklich spitze!
Deine Ideen sind auch einfach genial.
Freu mich schon auf mehr!

Jule
Ah, endlich die neue FF Wink

Freu mich total

Find den Ausgangspunkt ja schonmal nicht schlecht, dass die Beiden sich nicht kennen und so!

ABER: Eigentlich mag ich die ICH-Perspektive überhaupt nicht!
Hoffe doch mal, dass nicht alles nur aus lukes sicht beschrieben wird, sondern auch mal aus Lores oder so...
Aber ich denk mal das wird sich noch klären


Ich fand den Teil super, die Gefühle, Gedanken etc. super getroffen, besonders von Lorelai!
War echt genial:

Cedric schrieb:"Oh, come on, Kirk. I can’t give you yet another cup of coffee. You’ve been sitting here for hours. Go home and get a life!"

[SIZE=2]Schon diesen Satz kann ich mir richtig gut aus Lukes Mund vorstellen Big Grin

Ced schrieb:"Hello? D’you hear me? Earth to Mister Backward-Baseballcap?"

"You really have a good service here, I have to say. But what do I have to expect from a diner called ‘Luke’s’? Nothing I guess."

Diese zwei Stellen sind so geil :lach:
Totally Lorelai
Also echt, du triffst lore von allen (auch in deiner letzten FF) einfach am besten Top
[SIZE=1](Du bist eine männliche Lorelai :lach: !)


[/SIZE]

[/SIZE]Also schöner Teil, hat mir super gefallen, weiter so!


Bye Anne Big Grin
Hi!!

Eigentlich wollte ich einen neuen Teil posten, aber ich habe ihn auf meinem Laptop, und da geht die internet schon wieder nicht...also gibt es heute nur reFBs und morgen dann hoffentlich den zweiten Teil...

@Tina: thx for reading again..es ist schön, einen fanatischen fan zu haben...Big Grin
@Liony: Schön, dass du dabei bist..ich hoffe du liest weiter...stimmt, Kirk war bestimmt high...lustiger gedanke, wie er durch Stars Hollow schwebt und dann von seiner Mom ärger bekiommt...*lol*
@Jule:toll, dass du auch wieder liest...freut mich sehr...please stay tuned..
@Anne: Keine Sorgen, Lore kommt noch...eine männliche Lorelai...naja, ich weiss nicht, ausser das ich schnell rede und eine coffeeaddiction habe nicht wirklich...*lol*
Danke euch allen für das FB....morgen kommt der Teil!!
EDIT: Sorry wegen doppelpost


So, as I promised, der neue Teil. Have fun.



part II:



A few days went by – and nothing happened. Just the usual going. The whole town was bugging me like every damn year because I refused to hang up decorations for Halloween. Consequently I was in an especially bad mood, as Taylor, the town’s spokesman, approached to me that day. I knew, what was coming right up and I really tried to avoid it by pretending to make a phone call, but it was too late.
"Here there Luke!", Taylor waved in an extraordinary good mood, which made me afraid of what would come up.
"What is it, Taylor?", I asked dismissive.
"Well, you know... A new inn is opening this weekend. The ‘Independence Inn’. And now the manager approached to me that she still needs maids and whether I could hand out flyers and stuff. So I thought, that I maybe could leave some of them here?"
"Oh, come on, Taylor", I was really annoyed now.
He always knows how to bug me the most. I told him that, too. But it didn’t stick.
"You won’t even notice them. They’re just lying there, ‘till someone’s picking them up. No need to bother, honestly", Taylor put forward.
I sighed and answered:
"But only under one condition. You won’t – never again – ask me to decorate my place, is that clear?"
"Alrighty", Taylor just answered and left the diner, chanting.
Not a good sign. Not at all. But I skipped it.
"Never mind", I thought, "It’s just funky-town out there."
Again, I sighed and got back to work.
The day flew by and honestly I forgot about those flyers, I didn’t even look at them. I had a lot of work, many clients and some deliveries. In fact, I was just answering the phone, as two persons entered my diner.
I watched them sitting down at a table and immediately recognized one of them. It was that woman, about whom I was thinking constantly over the last days, not really knowing, why I did so.
All of a sudden, she looked up, directly at me. I hadn’t been aware, that I was staring at her and that little girl, who accompanied her. I thought she was about five years old and she was the spitting image of the young woman, I’ve met before.
"Okay, thanks. Goodbye", I finished my phone call and made my way to their table.
"Hello there. What can I get you?"
"Uhm, well. I’ll have a huge cup of coffee and a burger and what do you want, Rory?", she asked.
"I want chili fries", sceptical she looked at her opposite, "Can I have some, please?", she begged.
"Yeah, sure", the woman answered.
"Anything else for your sister? A juice or something?", I asked mystery-woman.
"My sister? Ah, nah, she’s not my sister....she’s my kid", she answered, blushing a little.
"Your...your kid? How’s that possible?"
Frowning, she looked at me, like she was angry with me, so I quickly added:
"I’m sorry. I just meant, you don’t look like a mother...", I broke off.
"Just shut up, dude", I thought by myself.
A few moments silence.
Then the woman said, seeming to get away from me, "That’s possibly very sweet of you."
I looked at her closely again. I remembered her differently. I mean she was just as pretty as the last time I saw her, but somehow she looked filthy. She still was wearing that winter-coat and the very same Jeans, I saw her in before. I looked at her daughter. Wow, I still couldn’t believe she was a mother. She didn’t look older than 20. The little girl on the other side didn’t look dirty at all. She happily played with the menu. She seemed to have fun reading it.
"Don’t be stupid, she can’t read it, yet. She’s much too young", I thought.
I let go off my thoughts.
"Focus, man."
I laughed.
"I’m sorry. I’ve just been confused. I totally forgot, what you’ve ordered. Let me fetch something to write on."
Hectically, I searched for a paper. Taylor’s flyers caught my eye. I reached out for them and asked the woman with the long, brown and curly hair, what she wanted to eat, but I didn’t get an answer. I looked up from the paper, why there was silence. Her eyes were fixed on the flyer.
"What is that? Do they search for maids?", she asked, almost breathless.
"Yeah... I guess so...", I began.
"D’you know, where this ‘Independence Inn’ is located?", she now seemed to be very excited.
"Uhm, yah. It’s just five minutes away from here. Just turn left and, you can’t miss it", I explained.
Mystery-woman sprang up.
"Come on, Rory. Today starts our new life."
With those words, she took her daughter’s hand and together they went out the diner.
Startled, I watched them leave, wondering what was that all about.
"Woah, wow", I just thought and again got back to work.


So, erst war ich ja der FF bezüglich etwas skeptisch, weil sie in Ich-Form ist und Luke im Moment erzählt, aber fand den Teil echt toll!

Wow, musste Luke verwirrt sein!

Ced schrieb:"Anything else for your sister? A juice or something?", I asked mystery-woman.
"My sister? Ah, nah, she’s not my sister....she’s my kid", she answered, blushing a little.


:lach: Das war echt super.
Genau das hätte aber fast jeder gedacht!

Ced schrieb:She happily played with the menu. She seemed to have fun reading it.
"Don’t be stupid, she can’t read it, yet. She’s much too young", I thought.

Kann mir richtig vorstellt, wie Luke da fast en bissl "verrückt" wird.
Echt toll geschrieben!


Find die Ausgangssituation der FF echt toll!
Alle müssen sich erst kennenlernen und sind noch jünger!

Aber das blöde ist:
Wenn Rory so jung, etwas 5 ist, dann lässt das bei ihr keine SL zu! Motz

Ich hoffe du springst dann irgendwann mal ein paar jahre in die zukunft :biggrin:
Wenn nicht ist es aber auch nicht so schlimm!

bye bye Anne :knuddel:
ich sterbe gerade vor hunger und daher is mein FB nich so lang.

ich fand das kapi klasse!
ich bezweifle dass Taylor aufhören wird, Luke zu nerven...aber wär auch schade drum wenn ers tun würde ^^

hach ich weiss gerad gar nich, was ich scheiben soll, ausser das es wirklich super toll war.

Sorry, aber beim nächten mal gibts besseres FB.

grüße
Jule
Ceeeeed!!!!
Ein neuer Teil!!
Zitat:thx for reading again..es ist schön, einen fanatischen fan zu haben...Big Grin
ich bin doch gerne Fanatischer Fan... bekomme ich nen Knopf von deiner Tastatur?:lach:


also, den verwirrten Luke fand ich lustig. damit komme ich aber auch schon zu meinem ersten (aber einzigen^^) Kritikpunkt:

Liz ist mit 17 schwanger geworden, da müsste Luke das doch eigentlich verstehen können, oder?


Was ich aber toll fand, war die Stelle mit Taylor...

meinem absoluten Superstar XD schrieb: He always knows how to bug me the most. I told him that, too. But it didn’t stick.
"You won’t even notice them. They’re just lying there, ‘till someone’s picking them up. No need to bother, honestly", Taylor put forward.

Ich denke nur nicht, dass er sein Versprechen halten wird.
Sonst wärs doch langweilig...obwohl er ja immer noch mit vielen anderen Sachen nerven kann...Big Grin

Rory ist auch supersüß dargestellt. Wir hatten also eine ähnliche Idee, was das alter der Charas betrifft...Ich hatte eine ähnliche Ideee wie du! Ist das nicht toll? Das was man sich als Fanatischer Fan so wünschtBig Grin


also ich muss jetzt essen, sorry für das kurze FB... nächster Teil mehr!!

HDL, :knuddel:
Tina
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